Intricate Amendments
by Daisy Blue
Summary: Everyone knows that Lily hated James while James was besotted with Lily. A tangled romance of how James manages to redeem himself in Lily's eyes and Lily discovers something she is quite unprepared for. HBP compliant. CURRENTLY BEING REWRITTEN
1. A New Year

**Summary: **Everyone knows that Lily hated James while James was besotted with Lily. A tangled romance of how James manages to redeem himself in Lily's eyes and Lily discovers something she is quite unprepared for. HBP compliant

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This is my first ever fanfic and I would really appreciate any reviews on the story so far. Thanks a lot! I've noticed that a lot of people put disclaimers before their fanfics but I don't really get them but I think it is pretty obvious that I don't own Harry Potter or anything of JK's.

And just out of interest, does anybody know what AU means when people put it in the summary of their fanfics? Thanks.

**---**

**Ch 1: A New Year**

Lily boarded the Hogwarts Express ready to start her final year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. With her new Head Girl badge gleaming on the front of her black school robes, Lily dragged her large trunk into the first free compartment. As always, Lily was early. She dug out a book, waiting for her friends to arrive. She had barely even opened the cover when a loud and friendly voice broke the silence.

"Lily!" Before she could look up, Lily found herself being hugged by her best friend, Marlene McKinnon. Marly had the most beautiful long curly brown hair and her bright blue-green eyes stood out against her tanned skin. She was tall and slim and the envy of many. But it was her bubbly and outgoing personality that attracted people as much as her striking beauty.

"How was your summer, Lils? Mine was fantastic! France was amazing and they had the best shopping. I missed you so much!" Lily felt herself grin as she patiently listened to Marly yabber on as usual.

Lily had really missed Marly during the summer, a whole _three_ months! Marly was like the older sister she never really had to. While Lily did have a sister, Petunia, things had always been unfriendly between them. Petunia was cold and hostile and begrudged everything Lily had. She was jealous and ashamed of Lily being a witch and made scathing comments at every opportunity. Lily loved her sister and desperately longed for her acceptance and approval but it never came. The wall between them had grown so tall that it was unlikely that is would ever break.

Lily also knew that her parents' greatest wish was for their two daughters to be close but it was all Lily could do to stop herself screaming with frustration. She tried so hard to get on well with Petunia but every time it backfired badly and left them worse off than before. Slowly, Lily had stopped trying but she still always hoped. Maybe one day Petunia could forgive her for being a witch and a freak.

"Lily!" Marly's voice broke through her complicated thoughts. "Are you even listening to me?"

"Of course! Would I ever not listen to you?" Lily said and they both burst out laughing. Marly was so used to everyone zoning out halfway through her long speeches that it was grown no to bother her.

Starting right from the beginning, Marly retold the tales of her summer. Barely taking the time to breathe, Marly told Lily all about the amazing shopping in France as well as her latest fling.

"Pierre was SO hot! He was such a gentleman too. Pity he was 28. And lived in France. And was a muggle. He was a great summer romance though. He even bought me a Louis Vuitton bag. Seriously! He was loaded!"

Lily laughed loudly. Trust Marly to have a summer fling with a handsome French muggle. Marly had guys fawning and being an only child, she loved the attention. But while Marly loved boys, she would never give herself up for them. She had standards, was strong and would never do something she didn't want to. Marly was waiting patiently to find a boyfriend and fall in love, but in the meantime, she was happy to have some fun but never crossing the boundaries she set herself.

The carriage door slid open and two girls entered. Clara's long straight blonde hair was loose around her shoulders, and she had big blue eyes and a cute smile. While funny and sweet, Clara was not the sharpest knife in the drawer and had the worst memory ever. Natalie was tomboyish with short brown hair, dark brown eyes and a feisty temper. She was quirky and fun, but cross her and she would make your life a living hell. If she didn't like you, you would know about it. Natalie was someone to be careful around. In a good mood there was no one better to be around, but in a bad mood she was worse than an angry Hungarian Horntail. And boy could she hold a grudge!

For the rest of the train journey, the compartment was full of laughter and fun. All four 7th year Gryffindor girls giggled and shared the stories of their vacations. Marly's was by far the most outrageous. Lily was thrilled to be back with her friends. Her holidays had been fun, she had missed her parents terribly during the year, but her older sister Petunia had been vile all summer. Coming from a muggle family, Lily often felt uncomfortable at home, especially around Petunia. Her shower of insults whittled away at Lily's self-esteem that she could barely wait to get back to Hogwarts and escape her sister's unpleasant presence.

Unfortunately, Lily's high spirits didn't last. Near the end of the train journey, Lily was required to visit the Head's compartment. Curious to know who the new Head Boy was, Lily made her way to the front of the train. Who would have guessed that she would be greeted with the smirking face of the most popular, and most arrogant in Lily's opinion, seventh year in the school?

"Lily-flower, what a very pleasant surprise!" Lily's eyes widened. She knew that voice.

"Who would have thought? The two of us getting to work so closely together this year. Aren't you lucky getting to spend so much of your time this year in my pleasurable company?" The boy continued.

Lily stood stock still, unable to move. Her brain was reeling, unable to understand what this smug, bullying twerp was doing with a Head Boy badge pinned to his chest. Him, Head Boy? Impossible! It _had_ to be a mistake!

---

"I can't believe that arrogant, bullying git was made Head Boy!"

Lily sat sulking in her 7th year girl's dormitory after dinner. It was only the first day of the new school year and Lily was already fuming. While she had worked so hard for six years straight to obtain the prided position of Head Girl, James Potter, popular trouble maker and bully had managed to become Head Boy! What on earth had Professor Dumbledore been thinking when he awarded James Potter that leadership position?

Pondering her revelation, Lily sat on her bed absentmindedly stroking her cat Hecate (said Hek-ah-tey). Petunia had laughed herself hoarse when Lily arrived home from her first visit to Diagon Alley clutching a wicker basket with a small black kitten inside.

"How appropriate!" She had laughed meanly, "And original. A witch with a black cat!"

At first Lily had been upset at her sister's cruel remark but decided to give her cat a fitting name. She named her cat after the Greek goddess Hecate, goddess of moon, patroness of witches and Queen of the spirit world. Lily was a witch, so why not name her cat after a mysterious and witchy goddess. And being black, Hecate fitted the name perfectly.

Through the years, Hecate had become like Lily's best friend. Feline best friend. She always listened, never judged her or disagreed. Some things were just too embarrassing to even tell Marly and Hecate always listened patiently and purred contentedly. Most of all, Hecate loved Lily unconditionally and was always available for a cuddle when Lily was down and out.

The peace and quiet of the dormitory was interrupted by Lily's fellow Gryffindors, Marly, Clara and Natalie.

"Sup Lil? Still sulking about Potter being Head Boy?" Loudly announcing her presence, Marly knew Lily too well.

"Sulking is a bit harsh don't you think Marly? I would have called it thinking rather than sulking." Lily tried to wheedle her way out of Marly's, admittedly accurate, accusations. Judging from Marly's grin, though, Lily knew she wasn't going to win.

"Nice try. Good night." Marly called from her bed.

"Night." Clara and Natalie said sleepily from their beds.

"Night." Lily snuggled up under her covers as sleep washed over her, Hecate curled up by her feet. She would deal with Potter in the morning.

---

Lily woke up bright and early the next morning. The early autumn sun shone through the window as she dressed quickly into her black school robes. Clara and Natalie were nowhere to be seen and Marly was performing similar morning preparations. Lily swept her long, dark red hair into a messy ponytail, a few loose tendrils escaping to frame her face. After applying mascara to her pale eyelashes and adding a hint of lip gloss, her and Marly headed down the staircase to breakfast.

"Good morning, sweetheart." A voice whispered in Lily's ear. She looked up to find her face inches from James' grinning one. She shot him a look of daggers as he sat down next to her at the breakfast table.

"Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed, unfortunately not mine." James taunted her. Desperately trying not to get annoyed, which is what he wanted, Lily stared at her plate as anger bubbled inside her. Only James could cause her such anger.

"Haven't you got someone better to annoy, Potter?" Lily spat back at him.

James just smirked arrogantly. He hadn't changed in all six years Lily had known him. Still full of himself, still a bully and still pestering her at every opportunity. Lily wasn't exactly what you would call popular, Marly occupied that position, but she still had many friends. Lily was kind, caring and nice to everyone that is was hard to dislike her. Only James could extract such nastiness from her.

At that moment, the remaining Marauders, along with Natalie, entered noisily. James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew were all 7th year Gryffindor trouble makers who called themselves the Marauders. How one of them ever became Head Boy was a mystery to Lily. Natalie, however, got on well with the Marauders.

"G'day Prongs." Yawned Sirius as he helped himself to enough food to feed an entire country. With his dark hair falling across his incredibly handsome face, Sirius had claimed the hearts of most of the girls at Hogwarts.

The Marauders chatted noisily as they planned their next prank and ate their breakfast. Lily ate her cereal as quickly as possible so she could get to her first lesson.

Walking alongside Marly towards their first lesson, potions with Professor Slughorn, Lily was surprised when Marly asked, "Why are you always so nasty to James Potter?"

"Why shouldn't I be nasty to him? He's an arrogant, bullying jerk!" Lily replied hotly.

"Sure, but what's he ever done to you except constantly ask you to go out with him?"

"It's not what he's done to me, I just don't like the way he treats people. He treats everyone like they are inferior to him. He bullies people just because he can and he takes advantage of people who are weak. Sure, he's handsome and an amazing quidditch player but that doesn't make him any better than anyone else. Girls beg to go out with him and he uses them and treats them like their worthless. Everything is a game to him. I'm just some unobtainable prize to him. He doesn't like me for the person I am, he only wants me because he can't have me." Lily's voice rose slightly as she finished. If only that were all, Lily thought sadly.

That was probably what Lily hated most about James. The fact that he bullied people and used girls like tissues only added to her hatred of him. Most of all, she couldn't stand how he treated her like she was a prize, only worth something because he couldn't have her. Like her only asset was her unavailability. And of course there was the fact that he toyed with her emotions so badly.

Marly was spared from replying as Professor Slughorn greeted them. She knew Lily didn't like James but she didn't realise she hated him that much. It was true that he was more than a bit conceited but he didn't deserve all that. But Lily wasn't telling her the whole story.

---

"Why doesn't she like me?" James exploded while the Marauders sat in the common room playing exploding snap. "I mean, why does she hate me so much?"

"By 'she' I'm assuming you mean Lily?" Remus asked.

"Of course I mean Lily. I haven't been in love with the giant squid for six years have I?"

"I dunno mate, I always thought you were pretty cosy with the giant squid. And as for why she hates you, if I remember correctly it's because 'you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag.'" Sirius let out a bark-like laugh as he put on a high pitched voice in an attempt to imitate Lily.

James just glared at him.

"Well…" Remus chose his words carefully as James looked like he was in one of his moods again and would lash out at anyone. "Maybe it's because she doesn't really know you. When you're around her all you ever do is show off and try to impress her. If you showed her the real you, maybe she might like you. You can be quite caring and sensitive when you want to be James." Remus continued earnestly.

Sirius snorted with laughter. "You've got to be kidding, Moony. Every guy knows you can't tell a girl how you really feel. That gives them the power. Then they use it to taunt you and humiliate you."

"Ahh, some expert advice from the one and only Sirius Black. I guess that's why you have so many successful relationships." Remus replied sarcastically.

"Hey. Watch it. All of my relationships are successful. I have at least a new girlfriend every week and I _always_ score after the first, and only, date. How's that for successful?" Sirius said gleefully.

Remus, however, just rolled his eyes. Sirius would never understand it.

"I'm never going to get her to like me!" James groaned. Fed up with the conversation, he got up and went to bed.


	2. Hatred

Thanks a lot to kittyatza, Angelfly06 and Whitelight72 for reviewing the first chapter of my fanfic. I really appreciated your encouraging feedback:-)

**---**

**Ch 2: Hatred**

Time passed quickly and the summer felt like an eternity ago. Lily kept herself busy with her mountain of work and her Head Girl duties. Unfortunately, her duties included spending time with James Potter.

Late one night, Lily was patrolling the corridors with James, pointedly ignoring him and trying to avoid conversation. After keeping it up for well over an hour, James eventually broke her act.

"Are you planning to ignore me all night Evans."

"I was hoping so. The silence has been lovely, please don't stop now."

James was slightly hurt by her vicious comments but would never, in a million years, let her know that.

"Since you've been enjoying my pleasurable company so much, why don't you come to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?"

"I will never never NEVER go out with you Potter. I would have thought you might have gotten the message by now but obviously it can't get through your thick, incredibly large head!" Lily spat back angrily.

Why did she always reject him?

"What did I ever do to you Evans, so make you hate me so much? I'm charming, handsome and funny, what more could a girl like you want?"

Lily snorted in disgust. He really was extremely full of himself.

"Take a look at yourself Potter. Take a good, long, hard look in the mirror. You just might see all the things that are wrong with you that the rest of us have to put up with every time we look at you." Maybe a little harsh, but still true. Lily found it unbearable enough to have to do rounds with him. She felt nauseous just thinking about having to spend a whole day with him.

When their rounds of the corridors finally came to an end, Lily breathed a sigh of relief at no longer having to be in the company of James Potter.

---

Lily hurried up the stairs to her dormitory, quickly grabbing the book she left behind before breakfast. Marly, Clara and Natalie were all eating lunch in the Great Hall. As she sped down the stairs Lily stopped abruptly as she tried to avoid running into the form of Remus Lupin.

"Oops, sorry Remus, I didn't see you there." Lily smiled kindly.

The harassed look on his face died and he grinned back at her. Remus was the only Marauder that Lily could stand. After both being Gryffindor prefects for the past two years, Lily got on well with Remus and loved that she could talk about the latest book she had read or swap notes from classes with him.

If Lily were to ever get a boyfriend, she would definitely choose someone like Remus. He was kind and funny and while not as handsome as his two friends he was still good-looking in his own respect. Unfortunately, Remus was often sick and appeared pale and peaky and Lily had never figured out why. Still, he was smart and loyal but the only problem was, Lily only saw him as a friend, nothing more, and he her. But even though, Lily knew that her friendship was of huge annoyance to James.

Remus was as different as possible from the other three Marauders. James was arrogant, a bully, a show off, incredibly smart but lazy. Sirius was, well, Sirius: handsome, conceited, and a playboy. And Peter. An annoying little worm in complete awe of his popular friends. Neither smart nor good-looking, Peter was the oddball of the group and I don't think even he ever knew how he became part of the Marauders.

"Lily! Long time no see. How are you?" With James Potter to keep from hexing anybody during the Head's and Prefect's meetings, Lily never had time to chat with Remus anymore.

"I'm fine. How about you? Those barbaric monsters you call friends keeping you in trouble?" Lily joked laughingly while inwardly slapping herself for insulting his friends. While she detested them it was not her place to say that. However, Remus didn't look slightly fazed by her remark and laughed heartily.

"Yep. Sirius blew up another toilet on the second floor but so far has managed not to get caught for it. I think Apollyon Pringle is on to him though." Apollyon Pringle was the bad-tempered caretaker, always on a mission to give detention to anybody who did or didn't deserve it.

"How are you getting along with my other thick-headed friend constantly trying to woo you? Still cruelly turning him down" Remus asked jokingly. If Lily didn't know Remus as well as she did she would have suspected that James had put him up to this. Remus was always subtly hinting for Lily to accept James' many proposals to go out with him. Wisely, he never pushed the point though, he learnt his lesson on that years ago.This conversation had taken place many times. Nowadays, it had become a joke between them.

"He's not as bad as you think, you know. He does mean well." Lily pursed her lips and bit back her retort. Remus looked at her apologetically, regretting his words. He would never try to do anything to ruin the friendship he and Lily shared. Sometimes he just got carried away and tried to play matchmaker when clearly it was never going to happen. Lily's hatred of James was unlikely to ever fade, even Remus who would like nothing better than to see James happy with the girl he had adored since 1st year knew that it was a hopeless case.

"Well, I'd better get back down to lunch before all the desserts are gone." Lily said lightly as she turned to leave. Instead of retreating in the opposite direction as she expected him to, Remus accompanied Lily to the Great Hall. Walking amicably together, they discussed school and books, each sorry for bringing up James. James was the only tension in their otherwise pleasant friendship.

When they reached the Great Hall, James' face tightened when he saw Lily laugh at something Remus said. Jealousy bubbled away in his veins as he forced to control it. Remus was one of his best friends and he trusted him with his life but his friendship with Lily caused James a great deal of discomfort. She liked Remus, yet she couldn't stand the sight of James, and that bugged him more than he let on.

Lily smiled at Remus again as she took a seat between Marly and Clara. The tension from before had long since evaporated.

"So, are we going to Hogsmeade together Evans?" James said, his playful humour back. Lily glared at him angrily.

"As usual, Potter," She spat out his name with venom, "I would rather go with the giant squid!"

Maybe next time, James sighed, admitting defeat for today. She was bound to come around soon.

---

Lily and Marly went to Hogsmeade together the following weekend. They planned to meet up with Natalie and Clara later after Marly had dragged Lily along to all the shops. Marly loved shopping, especially clothes shopping. She was highly fashionable and loved wearing the latest clothes. Lily enjoyed it but could only tolerate it in small doses. However, she had promised Marly that she would go shopping with her and a promise was a promise.

The Marauders also enjoyed their trip to Hogsmeade, using the opportunity to stock up on dungbombs and lollies from Zonkos and Honeydukes. They sat in the Three Broomsticks drinking butterbeer, planning their next pranks while Sirius flirted with Madame Rosmerta.

Later, as the four sat under a tree on the streets of Hogsmeade, James pointed to a stingy teenager with lank, greasy hair and a hooked nose, "Look whose sitting over there?"

"Why, if it isn't our dear old friend Snivellus." Sirius cackled evilly. "Look, his greasy nose is so close to his book, I'm surprised he can read it through all the grease marks he's leaving behind. Oi, Snivelly!" He called out.

Severus Snape stiffened but he ignored Sirius.

"It's rude to ignore people, Snivelly." James taunted as he hit Snape with a curse.

Unluckily for James, Lily and Marly entered just into to witness James jinxing Snape.

"STOP IT!" Lily shouted. Why couldn't he leave people alone? He thought he was so cool just because he could jinx someone.

"Chill, Evans. It's only Snivellus. Don't get your knickers in a knot." James replied casually as he aimed his wand at Snape.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily screamed at James. Sirius scoffed but James released Snape from his hex.

"You know the drill Evans, I will if you go out with me." James looked at her hopefully.

Snape tried to hit James with a spell but James was too quick.

"_Expelliarmus!_" Snape's wand flew from his hand and landed several metres away.

"You're supposed to be Head Boy. I'm going to report you for this Potter. And I would NEVER go out with you, not even if you were the last man on earth!"

"I _am_ Head Boy, and you wouldn't dare." James was quite enjoying watching her outraged expression. She did look exceptionally cute when she got angry with her hair falling out of her ponytail and framing her face and her cheeks pink.

"I HATE you James Potter!" Lily stormed off and Marly ran to catch up with her. James looked after her, stunned and hurt but trying to act like her words didn't faze him.

"You're never going to win her heart acting like that." Remus said matter-of-factly.

---

Lily's words had stung James more than he was prepared to let on. The events of that day had caused a change in James and Remus' words played over and over in his head. _You're never going to win her heart acting like that_.

No one is saying that from that day on, James became Prince Charming and swept Lily off her feet. Nothing of the sort. However, James did change, subtly, but still a change. James still flirted with Lily constantly and teased her at every opportunity but he lost his arrogance. His head deflated a bit and he stopped jinxing people for the fun of it (except Snape but he always checked to make sure Lily wasn't around to witness it).

This was his last chance. After this year he might never see Lily again. He _had_ to make her like him, love him if he could manage it but that was probably asking for too much. Lily hated him and he knew it would take something huge for him to redeem himself in her eyes. In every spare moment he had, James racked his brains for something to make Lily like him.

---

**A/N** This chapter doesn't really add much to the overall plot of the story so it is quite short. I hope it doesn't bore anyone who actually reads this fanfic! ;-) This chapter mainly gives a background into how much Lily really does hate James and how James eventually does _try _to change. The next chapter will have more to do with the overall storyline.


	3. Halloween

**Ch 3: Halloween**

James tried hard to make Lily notice that he had changed but she ignored and avoided him as much as she ever had. Luckily for James, he did get to spend some time alone with her when they had to do their Head Boy and Girl duties. In a desperate attempt, James even tried to show some initiative.

"Lily." James said to her one afternoon, "I think we should organise something for Halloween. What do you reckon?"

"Whatever." Lily replied coolly. She didn't have the time or the energy to deal with James.

James ignored her lack of interest and carried on, "I think it would be fun if we organised something a little bit different. We could still have the usual giant pumpkins and live bats to decorate the Great Hall but we could also add something of our own. And we could have a competition for the best Halloween costume?"

"Look, it's great that your actually trying to do something constructive for the first time in you life but if you think you can just sprout off ideas and expect me to do all the work you've got another think coming." Lily said wearily.

"Ouch. Who said I wouldn't do anything?"

"Fine." Lily snapped, "If you can prove that you will actually do something then we can plan something. Otherwise, we can do the same old thing that they do every year."

---

Lily and James worked hard over the next few weeks to plan the upcoming Halloween. After they had all their ideas and plans, which Professor Dumbledore approved, they had to organise everything. Lily had to admit that she was surprised at how much effort and time James did put into it. He almost seemed like he had matured a bit which startled Lily the most.

"So, we have pumpkins, bats, skeletons, vampires, zombies, spiders, magic mirrors and a haunted forest. Anything else?" Lily asked James, after a long night of organising the last bits and pieces for Halloween.

"Nup, sounds good to me."

"Well," Lily said excitedly, "I was also thinking we could have a full moon and werewolves. They're very Halloweeny and add to the creepiness and scariness."

James' face tightened as she spoke. Oh dear. Remus would not be impressed with something like that. He got depressed enough about his 'furry little problem' as it was without a display of 'evil' werewolves at a Halloween party.

"No!" James said firmly. He hadn't intended the anger in his voice and Lily looked shocked.

"I didn't mean it like that. I just don't think it's a good idea. Werewolves aren't bad or evil and it's too late to add anything else. Halloween is only a week away." James looked uncomfortable and Lily watched him curiously. She wasn't stupid, far from it actually, she was the best witch in the year, and she knew there was more to it than James was letting on. However, she didn't press the issue and decided to try and work it out later when she didn't have so much work.

---

After all the weeks of planning and organising, Halloween had finally arrived. The Great Hall looked spectacular and all their hard work had payed off. The usual giant pumpkins had been carved and lit with candles. Live bats flew around the room and giant spiders webs made up of tiny lights hung on the walls. At the far end of the Great Hall was a haunted forest. A narrow path led through the enchanted forest (which would probably later turn into a prime make out spot) and crows hovered over the trees. A band of vampires and zombies played music while skeletons dressed as butlers stood around groups of tables, serving food and beverages. Last but not least, enchanted mirrors hung around the room, offering anyone who looked into them a fright.

Lily had invited her friends up into the Head's common room and bathroom. Located on the fifth floor, James so rarely came up there that Lily almost forgot that the space wasn't only hers. Tonight Lily, Marly, Natalie and Clara were all getting ready for the Halloween party. The spacious bathroom had plenty of room for all four girls to do their hair and makeup. Each girl had purchased their costumes the previous weekend at Hogsmeade. Deciding to go for something simple, Lily went as a fairy. It was something she had always loved to dress up as as a child and made her smile. She had spent so much time planning the night that she really couldn't be bothered putting too much effort into her costume. Besides, it wasn't like she could win best dressed anyway since her and James were the judges.

Clara dressed as a devil, wearing a short and rather revealing red dress, sparkly red stilettos, devil horns and a tail. Clara definitely wasn't the conservative type. Natalie, always the tomboy, refused to go in anything remotely girly. Instead she had a laugh, wrapped herself up in bandages and went as a mummy. Marly, deciding to use her extensive, fashionable wardrobe went as a pixie dressed in an electric blue dress and heels that set off her eyes.

While Natalie bandaged herself up from head to toe, the other three girls put on their costumes and make up. Normally, Lily loved getting dressed up, she especially loved anything that made her look older, but tonight she really didn't have the energy. Unfortunately, her friends would not allow her to go underdressed so they made her up themselves with some small protests from Lily.

All four girls entered the Great Hall to find most of the school already in there. The place looked fantastic and Lily glowed with pleasure.

"Wow, Lils, it looks amazing!" Marly exclaimed.

Blushing slightly, Lily made her way up to the front of the Great Hall where James and Dumbledore already stood.

James' jaw dropped when he saw her. She looked nothing like her normal conservative, shy self. Marly had definitely done a great job of picking out her outfit and doing her make up. Lily loved getting dressed up and was remarkably girly. However, unlike Marly, she didn't have the confidence to pull it off so she rarely did. Tonight Marly hadn't taken no for an answer and ignored Lily's protests against her choice of make up and costume. Her green dress fell just above her knees with a handkerchief bottom. The dress was low enough to show a small amount of cleavage but not enough to look slutty. She had large green wings and gold stilettos which she could barely walk in but which Marly insisted on her wearing (Lily was quite short). Lily's thick wavy hair was left down and fell halfway down her back. Marly had only applied enough make up to enhance her features (the tiniest bit of mascara and eyeliner set off her amazing green eyes) but still look natural.

"Good evening everyone." Dumbledore called to the mass of students. "Happy Halloween. Before anything else tonight, I would like to thank our Head Boy and Girl, Lily Evans and James Potter, for working tirelessly in organising this for you all."

The students all applauded loudly, except for the Slytherins. Lily blushed slightly at having so many eyes on her. James just looked at everyone smugly in his pirate costume.

"The winners of the best costume will be chosen by the Head Boy and Girl and will be announced at midnight. Now, let the celebrations begin."

Lily was just about to head over to where Marly, Clara and Natalie were standing when she felt a warm hand grab her arm. Turning around she saw James looking at her curiously. James, along with the rest of the school, had never seen her in anything more revealing than her school robes but from his gaze she could tell he approved of her outfit. Lily blushed again and looked down at her feet.

"You look amazing Lily." James said earnestly his eyes trying to meet hers. Lily felt unsettled by his gaze and the seriousness of his voice. In all the years she had known him, she had never heard his voice free of sarcasm or teasing.

"Umm, thanks." Lily said quietly, still blushing furiously. "So, I think we did a pretty good job of tonight, don't you think?" She asked trying to lighten the mood. He was still looking at her in that unsettling way.

"Anyway, I have to go. Marly is probably looking for me." She said in a rush trying to escape. In actual truth Marly was dancing with a handsome Ravenclaw 7th year. James tried to say something but Lily walked away before he could.

---

By quarter to twelve Lily was exhausted and desperately wanted to go up to bed. She was also a little sad. Marly and Clara had been asked to dance by just about every guy from 4th year up. Even Natalie had been asked by a few guys while no one had asked Lily. Well, that wasn't strictly true. No one who Lily might have actually considered dancing with had asked. James had managed to regain his teasing manner and had asked her at least six times and she had refused every time.

Mostly Lily had spent the night watching people and enjoying the frequent screams as people came across the many surprises her and James had planned. Using her talent for charms, Lily had even set up certain spots around the room where people would experience unearthly chills or hear mysterious voices.

Rather a lot of the night had also been spent watching Sirius who seemed far more interested in the table of Halloween lollies and food than the swarm of giggling girls that followed him. Eventually, after eating his way through half of the food, Sirius retreated into the enchanted forest, accompanied by a beaming girl who had left her sobbing friends behind.

Lily had to admit she was surprised that the Marauders hadn't spiked the punch with firewhisky or something. Maybe James really was changing. Highly doubtful but still possible. It had to happen one day. Or not.

As the clock chimed midnight, the entire Great Hall including Lily got a huge surprise and fright. Monstrous, hairy black spiders crawled from the walls scuttling through the crowd of screaming people. The only people not screaming were the four Marauders although Peter did look a little green. Sirius, James and Remus all burst out laughing and gave each other a high five.

Lily let out the loudest scream yet. The piercing sound reverberated off the walls as she fled from the room. She didn't care about the competition. She would leave James to deal with that.

Lily was terrified of spiders and had been since she was a little girl. Not even her parents had quite understood the extent of her fear. They just laughed and told her she was being silly, the tiny little spider was more scared of her than she was of it. No matter how hard she tried to explain, no one except Marly (who had a similar fear of cockroaches) had ever understood.

Lily's terrified scream wiped the self-congratulatory smirk of James' face. What had he done?

Standing outside the Great Hall, James found Lily leaning her head against the cold wall.

"Lily?" he asked quietly.

Lily turned around to see who was speaking to her. Her face was ghostly white and she looked sick.

"Leave me alone, Potter."

"I only came to see how you were after your screaming fit in there." Lily's fear had left her now that the spiders were gone and her anger materialised with great force.

"Screaming fit, huh, Potter?" Lily spat, "If you hadn't set up another one of your stupid, brainless pranks I wouldn't be out here and you wouldn't have felt the need to check on me. Are you happy now that you've found my weakness? Have a good laugh and go back and tell all your stupid friends that Evans is scared of spiders. Maybe you can pull another inane prank and I might even faint next time, if your lucky. You are never going to change!"

Lily could feel the anger bubbling inside her and she couldn't control it. She wanted to scream and shout and yell at James until she was hoarse. Not only had he humiliated her in front of the whole school and shown them her biggest weakness but he then had the nerve to feel sorry for her after HE HAD CAUSED IT!

"I have changed!" James said indignantly. Lily laughed but with no real humour.

"Just leave me alone, Potter. Go back to your friends and go and plan your next ridiculous prank!"

James was shocked at her outburst but left her alone. She got scary when she was that angry. She looked like she was about to punch him. Could he ever do anything right? He was very quickly running out of chances.


	4. A Nightmare Come True

Thank you to whiskeygurl007 and alainn-chaser who also reviewed my fanfic. I really love reading your reviews so anyone else who wants to review I would love your comments and constructive criticism.

To those of you who have already read the first 3 chapters before the most recent update, I have replaced the first 2 chapters. I'm sorry if this is an inconvenience but you may want to re-read those chapters, especially ch2 as I have added/expanded on the story.

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**Ch 4: A Nightmare Come True**

It took James a few days to realise that he was actually angry at Lily. He had done nothing wrong! It was a harmless Halloween prank and she blew it way out of proportion. It's not like he had intentionally tried to hurt her. She had no right to be that angry at him and she had had no right to yell at him like that!

Lily had gone back to avoiding him as much as she always did and for the first time ever, James was avoiding her right back. Their patrols of the corridors were silent and sullen and neither could wait until they would leave each others' presence.

As it entered November, the weather grew steadily colder and the quidditch season drew closer. Fortunately for Lily, James was often at practices which reduced the amount of time to spend with him. As well as being Head Boy, James was also Quidditch Captain and appeared to take this title much more seriously than his one of Head Boy. James loved quidditch and was also exceptionally good at it. He worked his team hard but the work payed off when they won the trophy each year.

One Friday night at the beginning of November, Lily was sitting in the Gryffindor common room with Marly and Clara when she heard a sniffling coming from one of the armchairs. Abandoning the game of wizard's chess, Lily found a first year curled up in a ball, her face damp with tears.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked the girl concernedly.

"M-my best f-friend and I h-had a fight." The girl said between tears.

Lily put a comforting arm around the girl and talked to her quietly. After a while the young girl's tears dried up and she managed to give Lily a watery smile.

"Just give her some space for a while. Just remember that talking and being honest is the only way to sort out your problem." Lily said as the girl hopped off the chair.

"Thanks Lily, you're the best!" She said as she gave Lily a quick hug and raced up the stairs to her dormitory.

Lily smiled at the girl's turned back and headed back to her friends as Marly smirked and said, "Lily Evans, everybody's best friend."

James, who had been sitting with the Marauders in the corner of the room, had been watching the whole event. How he wished Lily could be that nice to him. He wished desperately for her to at least be his friend but she was too good for him. She was kind and thoughtful while he was an 'arrogant, bullying toerag' to quote her. James had never heard anyone say a bad word about Lily, except for the Slytherins but even all they could ever come up with was calling her a mudblood. He had to be the only person in the whole school, again apart from the Slytherins, who Lily wasn't nice to. That had to say something about him as a person.

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The following day Lily slept through most of the morning only waking at close to 11:30am. Lily was definitely not a morning person and slept in late whenever she could. Having finished all her homework the previous day, Lily was thrilled to have the whole day for herself. With her brand new book that she was desperate to start, Lily headed down to the Great Hall to meet Marly and have breakfast.

"Welcome back to the land of the living. I thought I was going to have to find a new best friend since my current one looked like she was never going to wake." Marly greeted Lily as she sat down at the nearly empty Gryffindor table.

Lily yawned widely in reply and helped herself to a bowl of cereal. After spending 5 minutes picking out all the sultanas Lily finally started on her breakfast only to leave half of it in her bowl. Full and pushing her half eaten bowl away from her Lily looked over to see Marly looked at her in wonder.

"I will never understand how you can survive on barely enough food to feed an ant."

Lily was an exceptionally picky eater and even when she found something she actually liked she still ate barely any of it. She was tiny but not because she tried to be. While many girls starved themselves to be as skinny as Lily, Lily wished she could put on weight just to avoid all the accusations that she had an eating disorder. No matter how much junk food she ate, Lily still stayed as skinny as ever.

"I have so much homework to do!" Marly complained loudly.

"You should have done it yesterday with me. Anyway, I'd better be off. I'll leave you to tackle your mountain of homework while I enjoy reading my brand new book." Lily replied happily, watching Marly's sulky face.

"I'm not as organised as you." Marly sighed unhappily as Lily stood up to leave.

The library was too busy so Lily headed to the Head's common room to quietly read her book, it's not like James was ever there. To her surprise, as Lily pushed open the portrait she saw that James was indeed in there and looked very…erm…busy.

James was on the couch in a tight embrace with a girl with long light brown hair. They were kissing intensely as if glued at the lips. They looked pretty deeply engrossed that Lily doubted they had even noticed her enter.

"Erm, sorry. I'll just leave now." Lily said awkwardly as she turned around, blushing deeply. She always felt awkward around PDAs.

James tore his lips away from the girl who looked annoyed at the interruption and grinned mischievously at Lily.

"Wondering what you're missing out on Evans?" He asked smugly. "Don't worry Evans, we can try later."

The girl looked appalled and hurt at James' suggestion of kissing another girl later. Her eyes filled with tears and she turned her face away from James.

Trying not to make a scene in front of the girl Lily settled for saying, "You're a jerk, Potter." before leaving the room.

Lily was fuming at James as she stormed off to the Gryffindor common room. He really was just an egotistical jerk. As well as suggesting that she would be so desperate that she would make out with him, he had also hurt and embarrassed that poor girl.

About an hour later, just when Lily had finally been able to start her book, James entered the common room. Spotting her, he immediately headed in her direction.

"What are you reading there Evans?"

"None of you business, Potter. Please leave me alone."

When he continued to stand there, Lily closed her book, set it aside and looked at him expectantly.

"Did you want something Potter? As you can see I am busy right now and would appreciate it if you would leave me alone." She turned back to pick up her book before adding, "And for future reference, please don't use our common room as a make out location. In other words, no snogging in the Head's common room." She opened her book and was about to start reading again when James interrupted her for the second time.

"What, are you jealous Evans?" James said with a cocky smile.

"Don't flatter yourself. I couldn't care less who you make out with Potter. Just don't do it in _our_ common room."

"Fine. Whatever you say Evans." He turned to leave just as Lily stopped him.

"How old is she anyway? She didn't look any older than about 4th year. A bit young for you don't you think?" Lily didn't know what possessed her to ask that. Her curiosity got the better of her.

"I thought you didn't care who I made out with, Evans?" James asked with a wink.

"I don't." And she really didn't, she was just curious. "I just thought she looked awfully young."

"Well, I have no idea how old she is. I can't even remember what she said her name was. She was very boring to listen to. Very good kisser though." James said nonchalantly.

"You haven't changed at all and you never will." Lily hissed angrily at him. That wiped the smirk off his face. "Girls aren't just there for your entertainment, Potter. They are people and they have feelings too. You just use them and treat them like useless, brainless idiots, which they're not. You didn't notice or care how upset that girl was when you offered to make out with me later, which by the way I would never do even if it was a choice between you and the giant squid." With that Lily grabbed her book and stormed up to the dormitories leaving behind a stunned James with his mouth hanging open.

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When Lily was sure that James was no longer in the common room she crept down, deciding to go for a walk to calm her down. Potter was so infuriating! She walked in silence until she stumbled across Professor McGonagall coming out of the staff room.

"Ah, Miss Evans, there you are. I've been looking for you. Professor Dumbledore would like to see you in his office immediately." Professor McGonagall looked worried about something.

"Of course, Professor." Lily turned around and hurried back in the direction she had just come from. In her rush, Lily walked straight into James Potter. Luckily, James caught her just before she fell.

"Where are you going to in such a hurry, Evans?" James asked interestedly.

"Professor Dumbledore wants to see me." Lily said quickly, hoping to avoid a conversation. James was the last person she felt like talking to at the moment.

"In trouble are we Evans?"

"It's probably just Head's business." In fact, Lily had no idea what it was about but that seemed the most likely.

"Well, in that case I'd better come with you since I am Head Boy." Damn, Lily was most displeased at this but didn't have the time to argue. She walked past James and continued to the Headmaster's office on the 7th floor.

Lily already knew Dumbledore's password from earlier on in the year so she hurried past the ugly gargoyle and up the moving staircase. When she reached the big wooden door she knocked loudly and waited.

"Come in Miss Evans." Professor Dumbledore called. James tried to come in as well but the Headmaster stopped him.

"Please wait outside, Mr Potter. This does not concern you." Taken aback, James waited outside while Lily shot him a curious look and proceeded inside.

When she closed the door behind her, Professor Dumbledore motioned for her to take a seat opposite him. He looked much graver and older than usual and the usual twinkling light in his light blue eyes had gone out.

"Miss Evans, I am afraid that I do not have good news to tell you and this may come as a bit of a shock." Professor Dumbledore looked sad as he peered at her through his half moon spectacles.

Lily suddenly felt cold all over and her hands shook. This wasn't what she had been expecting. She had been expecting something relating to her duties as Head Girl. Lily couldn't meet the Professor's eye and instead looked at her shaking hands.

"Miss Evans, I am desperately sorry to have to tell you that your parents were involved in a car accident early this morning. A drunk driver ran into them and the car went up in flames. All involved in the crash were killed. I'm so sorry Miss Evans."

In that moment, Lily's whole world came crashing down on her, suffocating her and causing her only pure unadulterated pain.


	5. Tragedy

**Thanks again to my reviewers, cerdinalz, ****whiskeygurl007, ****baybe-of-da-beach**** and ****tennisjock****. I just figured out how to enable anonymous reviews so anyone who doesn't want to leave a signed review can leave an anonymous one (hint hint) :) ! Thanks also to whiskeygurl007, whitelight72 and AuthoressMegz who have listed this story as one of their favourites:)**

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**Ch 5: Tragedy**

Lily was in shock. For a moment she just sat there staring at the wall behind Professor Dumbledore as her eyes clouded over with tears. She couldn't breathe and she felt as if she was drowning. Her ears were ringing and she couldn't grasp what the Headmaster had just told her.

Then it hit.

The force was unbearable, seeming to break every bone in her fragile body as she screamed in pain. She couldn't think. Before she knew what she was doing she leapt up from the chair, threw the door open and did the only thing she could do, she ran. No, not ran, sprinted. She had to keep going. She had to keep running. Her chest was on fire and each breath was pure agony. She couldn't feel her legs beneath her, carrying her to a deserted corridor a few floors below Professor Dumbledore's office. She couldn't see where she was going through her tears and the haze across her eyes. Her head felt like it was about to explode. And then she fell.

Into a dark hole, down and down, never ending. Darkness was everywhere, she couldn't escape it. She screamed again. A scream full of every emotion she felt. Pain, grief, sorrow, loneliness, anger, guilt, helplessness, injustice. But nothing could compare to the hollowness she felt. The gaping hole that was left within her that was filled with such intense pain that it was worse than death. The darkness swirled around her pressing in on all sides that she couldn't breathe.

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Outside Professor Dumbledore's office James was almost knocked over when the door was flung open with such force and a dark red cannonball shot from the room. If he hadn't used the little bit of common sense he possessed he wouldn't have realised that the red blur was in fact Lily Evans. She sprinted so fast that his head spun. Just not quite fast enough for him not to notice her deathly pale face, tears streaming from blood shot eyes.

"What happened? What did you do to her?" In his urgency, James forgot all manners (not that he had many).

"Calm down Mr Potter. Miss Evans has suffered a serious shock, that is all. You may go after her and accompany her to the hospital wing for a calming drought and a dreamless sleep potion. However, I must forbid you to ask her questions. She will talk when she is ready." The Professor said calmly although he still looked unusually solemn.

Without any further words, James left the room in search of Lily. He drew out the Marauders' Map and after muttering, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." headed towards the dot labelled 'Lily Evans.'

James eventually found her in a deserted corridor somewhere on the 5th floor. All he saw was a black figure with flaming red hair lying on the cold, hard floor. He rushed to Lily's side to see that she had passed out and a tender bump was forming on her head. Gently James turned her over. Her face was no longer ghostly white, but flushed and red. When touching her forehead gently, her face was so boiling hot he could have just about fried an egg on it. Tear stains covered her face and her eyes were swollen and puffy. Conjuring a cool wet towel, James softly placed it on her burning forehead. Sitting down next to her, James lifted Lily's head and rested it gently on a soft pillow.

A few minutes passed and James legs ached from the uncomfortable position of sitting on a stone floor. He jumped when he felt Lily stir beside him. Leaning over her he could see that her eyes were out of focus and she looked disoriented. Lily's face drained of all colour when she noticed James beside her.

"What are you doing here?" She whispered almost too softly for James to hear. But to her own ears it sounded as if she had shouted.

"I saw you tear out of Dumbledore's office and I came after you. You were in quite a state." James whispered back and for the first time Lily could remember, his eyes seemed to be filled with something resembling concern.

Tears still trickled down Lily's face and she sniffed loudly. Reaching up to touch her head, Lily winced as her fingers made contact with the swollen lump.

"Did you want to talk about it?" James asked cautiously. Professor Dumbledore had specifically forbidden him from asking her about it and this was about as close to the line as one could get.

Lily could see that he was concerned for her but the last thing she wanted was James Potter's pity. It was bad enough that he had seen her is such a state, after all she still had some pride.

Lily shook her head but stopped quickly when her head thumped painfully. She now seemed to have a constant stream of tears flowing down her face which was getting heavier every minute. Any second now and she would lose all self control and be bawling like a baby again.

"Can I take you to the hospital wing?"

Lily nodded slightly so as not to aggravate her blinding headache. Unsteadily she rose to her feet as James held her hand. He squeezed it lightly and was about to lead the way when Lily suffered a fresh wave of crying. Her legs shook and gave out underneath her just as James caught her. Lily crumpled in his arms and he held her tenderly. James sank to the floor as he held her and pulled Lily's body down with him. Her arms wrapped around his neck and he pulled her close, stroking her soft hair. She looked tiny compared to his strong frame.

If Lily had been in her right mind she never, in a million years would she have clung to James Potter as she did now. But at that point in time he was the only one there and the only person she could seek comfort from. Right now all Lily needed was a place to feel safe and loved and James' arms were the only ones available. Her parents were gone and Marly was far away, probably unaware of the tragedy Lily had suffered and fast asleep in her four-poster bed. And as for Petunia, she probably didn't care about anyone but herself.

James had never been this close to Lily before and he savoured every minute, anxiously waiting for her to remember that it was his arms she was in and leap away with a shriek. But she didn't. Instead, she curled up and drifted off to sleep right there in his arms.

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James' whole body ached from staying in the same uncomfortable position for too long. His eyes drooped with tiredness but still he sat there, Lily asleep in his arms, her face buried in his neck. With a sudden thought, James stood up, heaving Lily with him and he walked back up to the seventh floor.

Standing opposite the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy, James watched as a highly polished door appeared in the blank wall. Struggling to turn the brass handle with Lily asleep in his arms, James eventually pushed open the door to reveal a spacious room with a large bed in the middle. Gently laying Lily on the bed and pulling the covers over her to keep her warm, James turned to examine the rest of the room.

His eyelids heavy with exhaustion, James could fight sleep no longer. Lying down on top of the covers, James fell asleep next to Lily.

It seemed as if he had only just fallen asleep when James was woken by a piercing scream. Lily was thrashing in the bed next to him, screaming and saying something incoherent. Suddenly, her eyes shot open and she was sobbing again, clutching the front of James' robes.

"Sshhh, Lily. It's only a dream. Nothing can hurt you, I promise." James said soothingly as she shook uncontrollably against him.

"Please. Please." Lily begged between sobs. "Please make it go away. Please."

"It's ok. Tell me what happened and I'll make it go away." James was desperately trying to reassure her but she was worked up into a state. Her breaths came in short gasps and tears were still pouring down her cheeks.

"Mum…dad…car…crash…blood…everywhere…fire…sirens…" She mumbled disjointed sentences but enough for James to understand.

This is what Professor Dumbledore had told her. James felt his blood turn cold and his heartbeat stop for a fraction of a second. A foreign feeling arose in him, one that he couldn't put a name to. No wonder Lily was in the state she was. She had just lost both her parents and a whole lot more. Her security, her home, her family, the unconditional love that parents give. All she had left now were memories, pieces of the past.

"Oh my god, Lily. I am so sorry. It'll be okay." James mumbled the first words that came into his head, trying hard to soothe her but somehow it managed to have the opposite effect.

"It'll be okay? How do you know that? You have no idea!" Suddenly Lily was screaming at him. "You have absolutely no idea if it will be okay or what I'm going through. You're just rich little James Potter, living in his manor with mummy and daddy to do everything for their precious little son. Precious little James who has had everything handed to him on a silver platter. Don't even try to pretend you know what I'm going through!" Lily looked like a very angry lion. And she had absolutely no idea how hard her words hit him.

Lily was absolutely right about everything she had said. James had never realised how superficial his life had looked to others. He _was_ the precious only child of hugely rich parents. His parents had always given him everything he had wanted, spoiled him rotten, never dared refuse James something he asked for. Never had James had to fend for himself. He _was_ just a spoilt little rich kid with not a worry in the world. Even subconsciously, James had always known that no matter how much he stuffed up, his parents would always fix everything.

Almost as soon as her anger had appeared, it was gone and Lily was back in hysterics. James had never known that someone had so many tears to cry, or that they could change emotions from one extreme to the other so quickly.

After a few minutes, Lily stopped shaking and her breathing evened. Abruptly, she became aware of her surroundings and looked like a lost child in a busy supermarket. She seemed to have forgotten her earlier outburst.

"Where am I? What is this place? Why are you here?" Her eyes were wide with confusion and she seemed particularly disturbed that she was so close to James.

"I brought you here after you fell asleep in the corridor. It is known as the Room of Requirement and like the name says, it can turn into any room at any time. I wanted to stay with you and make sure you were alright." James couldn't even bring himself to look at her so instead he spoke to his hands. His mind was still turning over what she had said to him.

To give himself something to do, James conjured up a glass of water and handed it to Lily. She gulped it down quickly and thanked him quietly. Minutes passed in silence and James was beginning to think that Lily had fallen asleep again when she broke the stillness.

"What to you want from me, James?" Startled, James looked at her face and saw how exhausted she looked. He barely even noticed that she had called him James.

"W-what?"

"What do you want from me?" Lily repeated slowly. "Why are you still here? Is this some kind of prank or something? Are you just here so you can tell the whole school and have a good laugh at my expense? Or are you here to try and take advantage of me?"

James was genuinely shocked. How could she think that after all of this? That he was just here to hurt her? Did she honestly think he was that cruel and uncaring, that he was some kind of evil rapist?

"I don't want anything from you Lily." James stated frankly. "I am genuinely concerned for you and I want to take care of you and make sure you're alright. I just want to be your friend. Is that too much to ask?"

"While I appreciate your concern, it is not necessary. I am not alright and I won't be for a long time. Right now, all I want is peace and quiet and to be alone." Pain shot across Lily's face as she said that. It was far too literal.

She was alone in the world now, with no one to guide her, no one to fall back on, no one she could trust completely. Here eyes filled with tears for what seemed like the millionth time in a matter of hours. Burying her head in the pillow, Lily cried heavily and her shoulders shook.

As cruel as her words were, James couldn't bring himself to be angry. After all, she had just lost her family, she needed someone to lash out at, someone to hurt back to take away some of her own pain. It was unbearable to watch her in so much anguish.

Reaching across to a shelf in the room, James found a small bottle of purple liquid.

"Drink this. It's a potion for dreamless sleep." James whispered as he handed it to Lily who was still slumped on the bed.

"Thanks." She whispered and she drank from the bottle. Instantly, James saw her grow drowsy and she fell back onto the bed, asleep before her head hit the pillow.

James lay down beside her again and watched Lily as she slept. And then he fell asleep himself.

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**I know this chapter was a bit gloomy, what with Lily's parents dying but something big did need to happen to bring Lily and James together and what is bigger than loosing your parents and being comforted by your mortal enemy? I hope it's not too predictable so far, there will be a few twists later on in the story after Lily and James become closer. This story was originally only going to be about 5 or 6 chapters long but now it will probably be about 15 or so. I'm planning to write about the whole year up until they leave school. Just thought I'd let you guys know and hopefully you'll keep reading (& reviewing!) ;-).**


	6. The Other Side of the Story

**Thanks to madsdagirl, Amenti and tennisjock for reviewing:) Thanks also to messyblackhair66 and Amenti again for adding this story as a favourite. I hope you like this chapter!**

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**Ch 6: The Other Side of the Story**

Sometime before daybreak, James awoke. Trying not to wake Lily, who was still fast asleep, James rose from the bed. His stomach groaned with hunger since he had missed dinner the night before, which was incredibly unusual for him.

Never one to go hungry, James crept up to his dormitory with the Marauders map clutched firmly in his hand. Retrieving his invisibility cloak from his trunk, James headed to the kitchens to scrounge some early breakfast from the house elves.

After tickling the huge green pear in the picture of a giant silver fruit-bowl and pulling the door open, James was met with an interesting sight. Sirius was standing with his back towards James but still there was no missing the mound of food in his arms. Éclairs, jam tarts, biscuits, donuts, cream cakes, all piled on top of each other. Sirius really was amazing. With all that he ate you would have expected him to be the size of a house. But instead he was lean and muscular with broad shoulders and was incredibly handsome. Although, at that precise moment in time with cream and custard covering his face, he was not at his most dashing.

"Fancy seeing you here Padfoot! Having an early breakfast where you?" James smirked as Sirius spun around, grinning broadly.

"Didu wanshum?" He managed, spraying James in the face with food. He held out an éclair, offering it to James.

"Thanks, just what I felt like."

For a while, James and Sirius sat in silence as they made their way through their pile of sweets, ignoring the scurrying house elves, all trying to prepare breakfast for the castle.

"Where have you been all night, mate?" Sirius eventually asked between mouthfuls.

James contemplated whether he should tell Sirius something so personal, especially since it wasn't his to tell. Eventually he gave in; after all, Sirius was his best friend.

"Prongs, listen to me. That girl is more trouble than she's worth. She really is. I know you've fancied her for like ever but it really is time to move on. Find someone else. Have some fun. I hate to be insensitive but she will never go out with you. You're just going to have to prepare yourself and accept that the giant squid will be accompanying her to our graduation, not you."

Sirius really was no expert at matters of the heart. To him, if a girl played hard to get, they were too much trouble. People like Sirius didn't get turned down by girls, only they could do the turning down or breaking up. As much as James loved Sirius like a brother, he was not necessarily going to take his advice on this matter.

Lily _was_ worth it. She was kind, generous, funny, smart and beautiful. James wasn't ready to give up on her just yet. If she still hated him at the end of the year then there was nothing left he could do and he would have no choice but to give up on her and move on. But right now he still had 7 months of the school year left to convince her to fall in love with him.

"Thanks for the advice but I might not listen to it this time. Give me two months to get her to go out with me or I'll give you 10 galleons." Well, his parents would anyway.

"Woo-hoo, I'm gonna be rich in a couple of months!" Sirius exclaimed with glee.

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After Sirius had departed back up to the boys' dormitory to get some more sleep, James headed back up to the room of requirement. Lily was still fast asleep and for the first time in 12 hours, looking peaceful.

James couldn't get back to sleep and had nothing to do but he didn't want to leave Lily. He didn't want her to wake up sad, scared and alone after all she had been through. So, James pulled up a chair and watched Lily as she slept.

She really was beautiful but like most truly beautiful people, she had no idea. Lily wasn't beautiful in that showy way that some are. She was beautiful in a shy and self conscious kind of way. At a first glance she would look like many others, quite pretty but with nothing special. But then at a closer look you would notice her beautiful dark red hair, sparkling emerald eyes, shaped like almonds, her flawless pale skin, her soft pink cheeks and her delicate nose. But she had more than just her outer beauty which was enhanced by her warm and loving personality. God, it was frustrating for James sometimes. She never seemed to have any flaws! Well none that he could see anyway, except for her fiery temper but even that was saved almost exclusively for him.

"I'm sorry Lily." James whispered gently as his fingers brushed lightly over her face. "I'm so sorry for everything you've had to go through. I'm sorry you lost your parents and I'm sorry for all the frustration, anger and hurt that I have caused." James took a deep breath. Even though she was still asleep, it took him a lot of courage to share his feelings with her, even if she couldn't hear.

"If I could, I would take away all the pain you are suffering. You don't deserve any of this! You are so kind and friendly to everyone and yet you have to suffer while slime like Snape never get misfortune, unless you include that fact that he is an evil little oddball with no friends, greasy hair and someone I particularly love jinxing." James continued. "Not that I would jinx him of course." James lied quickly, just to be on the safe side.

James was on a roll and couldn't stop now. "I know you hate me and I would do anything to change that. Well, almost anything, no being friendly with Snivellus or anything. Ergh, I feel nauseous just thinking about it!" Ok, need to stay on track! "If you could ever bring yourself to forgive me, even be friends with me but I won't push my luck, it would mean a lot to me. I know, I know, I'm starting to sound like a sop and you're probably surprised to find out that James Potter actually has feelings but surprise! I am actually capable of having emotions and feelings."

James couldn't believe how easily his words were coming. It was almost like keeping a diary with the small exception that some slimy little creep can't get their grimy little fingers on his thoughts and embarrass the hell out of him. After bottling up his emotions for so long (most of his life actually) James felt like a weight was being lifted from him. Speaking all of this aloud allowed him to realise things he never really knew before, like how many things he really was capable of feeling. After tonight he might even be upgraded from having the emotional range of a spoon to the emotional range of a bowl. A very small bowl.

"I promise I'm not as bad as you think I am! I'm not saying that the way I treat people is always right, it's only right _most_ of the time instead of _all_. Joke, that was a joke! But I wouldn't be half as arrogant and show offy if I wasn't trying to impress you all the time, and _no_ I am not trying to wheedle my way out of every bad thing I've ever done."

"And like it of not, Lily, but I really do like you and I care about you. And I would never use or hurt you the way Sirius does to the girls he goes out with, if you can even call it that." The joys of being able to blame things on somebody else! "Or the way I've hurt or used one or two girls. Possibly more but we are trying to focus on my good points here not the bad ones, not that there are many." If there was one thing James wasn't good at it was definitely modesty. It was almost impossible for him to admit to things he had done (the bad things obviously, he had no problem owning up to the good things and really, who does?) so this really was a big step for him. He was being as honest as it was possible for James Potter to be.

"I think I've done enough of a confession this morning so I think I'll stop myself here before I get carried away. And embarrass myself even more than I already have. Thank God you're asleep!"

James rose from the chair and stretched his legs. He felt most exhausted than if he had just run a marathon. Who knew expressing your feelings could be so tiring?

Walking back over to the bed, James lied back down on top of the covers and fell fast asleep.

---

Lily was in shock! Who knew James Potter could actually be deep? Unbeknownst to him, Lily had heard every last word James had said to her. His hand brushing her face had woken her and before she could let him know she was awake, he was spilling all his thoughts. If she had opened her eyes then she would have embarrassed him to no end and he probably would have denied everything he said. She had had no choice but to pretend to be asleep through the whole escapade. And come to the shocking realisation that James Potter wasn't actually the monster she had always made him out to be. He seemed almost…_nice_.

If she was totally honest, Lily was truly grateful to James after last night. He really had proven himself to have a heart and think of someone other than himself. She felt slightly guilty after her outburst the previous night but she wasn't sure she had the courage to apologise. To James Potter no less! Or the courage to tell him that she had heard his confessions. Maybe she would tell him later. Maybe not. Maybe.


	7. Surreal

**Thanks to messyblackhair66, american nymphadora and tennisjock for reviewing the last chapter and anyone who is reading:) I'll probably have a new chapter up soon as I have a long weekend and will hopefully have heaps of time to write a few more chapters.**

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**Ch 7: Surreal**

Slowly and wearily Lily made her way up the stairs to her dormitory. It was now nearly 8am, early by Lily's usual weekend standards and Lily was exceptionally thankful that today was a Sunday. She could not deal with going to a class right now, not in the state she was still in.

As Lily opened the door, something made hard contact with her small frame and she felt herself being pulled into a hug.

"Oh my god, Lily. I heard what happened. I am so sorry!" When Marly pulled away from the hug she looked at Lily closer. Her face looked tired and drawn and her eyes still red and puffy. Her bright hair was all over the place and her normally immaculate robes all creased and wrinkled.

"You look awful!" Marly exclaimed loudly before hastily backtracking. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that." Marly paused again. "I guess there's no point asking you how you are because of course you're not okay. Is there anything I can do?"

Lily could see that Marly desperately wanted to do something to help her but truthfully, there was nothing anyone could do to make her feel any better. In a hope to reassure her, Lily attempted a weak and very face smile but it ended up more like a grimace of pain.

"Oh, Lily!" Marly said sadly. "Just remember that I'm always here for you and I love you!"

Marly really was trying and Lily appreciated it more than she could say but still she stayed silent.

"Please talk to me Lil?" Marly sounded almost desperate now.

"I'm sorry, I just want to sleep, I'm really tired." Lily said in barely more than a whisper.

As she walked to her bed to lie down, Marly followed her. And for most of the afternoon, the two of them laid there, staring at the ceiling in silence. Marly desperately wanted to help Lily but could sense her need to be left alone. Lily was glad she didn't ask her questions and appreciated her company. It took some of the aloneness away and she grabbed Marly's hand and squeezed it softly. Marly squeezed back and Lily was glad to have a friend that cared so much and understood her so well.

Last night Lily had felt as if she would die from sadness. Today she felt as if she might survive on heavy life support which was a small improvement. Her parents were gone and her sister hated her but at least she had a friend who loved her like a sister and right now that meant more to her than anything. Right now, Marly was all she had left. The only person who she loved and trusted and who felt the same back.

---

That night, Lily slept fitfully. She tossed and turned and cried out and each time she woke she had tears streaming down her cheeks. Over and over again she dreamed the same thing.

_Lily found herself sitting in the backseat of an old blue Mercedes. She knew this car well, it had been there through her whole childhood. And there, sitting in the front seat were her parents, looking the same as ever. Lily's throat constricted at seeing them, so happy, so alive. She was so glad to see them!_

"_M-mum?" Lily croaked out. "Dad?"_

_When neither responded, she raised her voice but still they ignored her. When they continued to talk as if she wasn't there at all, even after she poked them and waved her hands in their faces, Lily conceded that she was little more than a ghost to them._

_For less than five minutes, Lily sat and listened to her parents chat happily about all sorts of things: current events, the weather, Petunia, the list went on. Then disaster struck. As her father waited impatiently for the traffic lights to change, Lily saw a white car out of the corner of her eye. Before she even had time to react, the car ploughed into the driver's side of the car. It was like a nightmare. Lily's saw her father's eyes widen as the other car made contact with their's with brutal force. Lily could hear screaming, barely noticing that it was her own. The sound was deafening. As the car spun around like a ride at a carnival, Lily continued to scream._

_Blood was everywhere, drenching her unconscious father's shirt and gushing from a wound on her mother's head. Shattered glass rained down and smoke and flames were billowing from their car. Through the smoke, Lily could no longer see the white car. Her lungs were filled with smoke and she could barely breathe._

_Lily's mother was whimpering and calling her husband's name, shaking his limp hand. It was unbearable for Lily to see her mother's pain, watching her desperately trying to stir her unmoving husband. Her movements got weaker and weaker and eventually she too slumped over in her seat. Sirens sounded softly in the background and all Lily could do was cry as she watched her parent's lives slip away before her very eyes. She never even had the chance to say goodbye or tell them how much she loved them._

_Suddenly, everything went black. Lily's scream echoed as she felt the wind rush past her. She was falling, faster and faster. Things loomed before her as she desperately tried to grab something to hold on to. But there was nothing, all around her was nothing and she kept on falling._

Lily woke with a start. Her body was covered with sweat and her breathing was ragged. Tears prickled her eyes and she reached for the glass of water on her bedside. It had been the same dream from the night before. The same horrible nightmare that played over and over in her head.

Lily sat up and looked around, grateful that she hadn't woken her dorm mates. Pulling her weary body out of bed, she quickly washed her face in the bathroom. The cold water soothed her and calmed her raging headache. Hecate mewed softly and wove herself around Lily's legs.

Returning to her bed, Lily pulled her covers up to her chin. Everything felt surreal. It was like being in a dream except it never ended. There was no escape, even in her sleep, the horrible truth haunted her.

A soft thump on her bed told Lily that Hecate was back. Closing her eyes, Lily drifted back into another fitful sleep, desperately hoping that when she woke up her world would be right again.

---

On Monday, Lily didn't go to class. She still felt both emotionally and physically drained and couldn't bring herself to get out of bed. Since she had never turned up to the hospital wing, Professor McGonagall had come up to check on her as had Madame Pomfrey. Lily had been asked to spend a few nights in the hospital wing but she didn't want to leave her own bed and her friends, especially Marly.

Even though Marly had to attend classes, which Lily had been excused from for as long as she needed, she was always checking on Lily. Most of the time she was either asleep or staring silently at the ceiling or out the window. Hecate kept her company through the day, her warm fluffy body curled up next to Lily's.

Even if she had wanted to get out of bed, Lily was too exhausted. Her whole body ached and her legs couldn't support her weight. Marly constantly brought her food and books, neither of which she touched for nearly a week. Eventually, Lily managed to nibble on some dry crackers and sip some water. When faced with a whole meal the most she could manage was a few mouthfuls, mainly only to keep Marly happy and from forcing it down her throat, before pushing away the plate, looking sick.

Like most things, the whole school had heard of the tragedy and many whispered and gossiped. Many people were worried but none more so than Marly and James. James hadn't seen Lily since the night she had heard the news but had been constantly badgering Marly on her well being. Having no idea of the events of the night and of James' involvement, Marly ignored his badgering and gave nothing away. Marly was loyal and would not betray Lily's trust for anything. So she ignored all the many questions from people she had never spoken to in her life and carried on as normally as possible.

For nearly 2 weeks, Lily barely moved except to go to the toilet and wash. Even at a time like this, Lily still conformed to particular hygiene regimes. But apart from that, her days were spent sleeping a lot or staring out the window. She didn't think. She didn't allow herself to think. So she sat silently and watched as students through the window as they participated in their Care of Magical Creatures classes or practiced quidditch.

But not one thought relating to the incident was allowed to pass through her mind. It was too painful so she avoided it as much as possible. While most said that ignoring pain only made it worse when it finally was dealt with but Lily didn't care. She would do things her way and her way included trying to forget that anything had ever happened. At times it even felt like it had never happened. Like her parents were still alive and Lily forgot why she wasn't in class. And when she remembered she blocked it from her mind.

Since the night after she had heard to news from Professor Dumbledore nearly two weeks ago, Lily hadn't shed a tear. In fact, not a single emotion had occurred inside her. All she felt was hollowness, like all her feelings and emotions had been taken away and all that was left was a huge gaping hole.

Eventually, the time came for Lily to return to her classes. She had fully recovered physically and absorbing herself in her classes avoided the truth that much longer. It was becoming harder and harder to not think, to not feel and classes were the perfect distraction.


	8. The Grief Cycle

**Thanks to Amenti, whiskeygurl007 and tenniskock for reviewing:) This chapter continues with the loss of Lily's parents. I'm sorry if it drags on but I tried to make it as realistic as possible and anyone who has lost someone will know that it does take a long time to recover from. However, next chapter will be all about Lily and James. In answer to Amenti's comment/question, yes you were right, I had made a mistake there are I have re-posted the chapter with the corrections so it makes sense. Thanks for letting me know :) And sorry if it's a bit sad, hopefully not too much so!**

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**Ch 8: The Grief Cycle**

Lily worked as hard as ever and to most people it seemed as if she had recovered amazingly. But Marly was worried. Really worried. It was not like Lily at all to avoid problems in the hope that they went away. Marly was anxious that her parents death had affected her worse that she had thought. Her denial was so deep that Marly feared it would take a great deal to pull her from it.

It was as if Lily was carved out of stone. She wandered the hallways of the castle, her eyes blank, her face unmoving. Marly would have been relieved if Lily had shown some form of grief or sorrow or anger but nothing. She didn't talk and she still didn't eat. Thankfully Madame Pomfrey still had her on meal supplement potions to keep up her physical strength.

In class, Lily was silent, scribbling down notes and listening to her professors but her usual enthusiasm and interest was gone. And what worried Marly most of all was her barrier. Since the day after the news, Lily had slowly pushed away everyone who loved and cared for her. With each passing day she became more and more distant.

After a week of being back in classes, Lily was exiting the charms room when James stopped her. She still hadn't spoken to him since that night and turned around when he grabbed her arm. Marly wasn't doing charms this year and was nowhere to be seen.

"Lily, can I talk to you?" James spoke quietly and concern radiated from his hazel eyes.

Lily shrugged emotionlessly and allowed him to lead her into a deserted corridor.

"How are you coping?" I wasn't the best start and it was a rather stupid question since he already knew the answer but he had to start somewhere. Lily shrugged again.

"Please, Lily. Talk to me." James begged when she continued to stare at him blankly. She still hadn't moved and her hand hung limply in his.

"I know you've been through a lot Lily and I can't even begin to understand how you feel. But you can't block out everyone who cares about you. Clara and Natalie are really concerned about you and Marly is beside herself with worry. And I'm really worried about you too. You can't avoid the truth and hope it goes away. You have to face it sooner or later and the longer you leave it the harder it will be. There are so many people to support you and help you get through this and who just want to see you happy again. It's not going to be easy but there is no way around it."

Lily continued to stare at the floor but this time her eyes were filled with tears. She already knew all this but it made it real having it put so bluntly. Denying that anything had happened didn't make the truth go away. The pain was washing over her again like it had on the first night. Gently, James lifted Lily's chin so he could look her in the eyes. Tears spilled down her cheeks and white hot pain shot through her body. James hugged her tightly and Lily felt every emotion rush back to her. The intensity nearly bowled her over but James held her upright.

Her heart was breaking again but for the first time in so long she felt safe. Safe with James' arms wrapped tightly around her like he was never going to let her go. Then the guilt came. The guilt of everything she had put so many people through.

"I'm so sorry. For everything." Lily sobbed into James' robes. James soothed Lily and patted her back while she continued sobbing. It was just like that night when he had held her as she cried, so fragile and in so much pain.

Someone coughed loudly and James looked around quickly. A very confused Marly had been watching the whole scene unfold and shot James a puzzled, worried and slightly hostile look. She was anxious about what James had said or done but on the other hand was relieved that Lily seemed to have accepted the tragedy. Slowly, Lily lifted her head and her eyes met Marly's. Then without a second of thought, Lily ran to her and flung her arms around her neck.

"I'm so sorry Marly! And thank you for everything." Lily clung to her tightly and James looked uncomfortable.

"It's okay. I can take it from here." Marly mouthed at him and he nodded and turned to leave. Gently, Marly steered Lily up to the Dormitory. They still had an hour before their next class.

---

Marly had thought that Lily's reaction had been a break through, a sign that she was making progress. And maybe she was but it was not easy for anybody while she made her way to recovery. Her guilt and sadness of earlier was nothing compared to what came.

"Why them?" Lily roared as she stomped around the dormitory. Marly was standing by the door looking scared. Sure anger was part of the grief cycle but Lily was taking it to the extreme. In a matter of minutes, Lily had gone from complete denial to guilt to rage that matched that of an angry Hungarian Horntail.

"What did they ever do to deserve to die? What did I do? Am I a bad person? Was it my fault they died?" Lily was crying again. No, howling was probably a more appropriate word. Along with her anger, sadness had returned too.

"It's not fair! They weren't supposed to die!" Lily picked up the water jug from her bedside table and hauled it at the wall. Marly flinched but didn't move. A black ball shot out the door. Hecate was making an escape while she still could.

"I hate them! I hate them for dying and leaving me here by myself! I hate them for giving up and not fighting harder!" Her anger was back with a vengeance. With the speed of a cheetah, Lily was throwing anything she could get her hands on. There went Clara's clock, a book, a plate, Natalie's lamp, a glass of water, Lily's china ornament, a photo frame, another book. If she could have picked up the bed, Marly was sure she would have thrown that as well.

"I hate them I hate them I hate them!" Lily screamed as she frantically attacked her bed. Punching with the force of a giant, Lily pounded her pillow for all she was worth. Her anger was astounding and it was unbearable for Marly to watch her friend in so much pain.

"I hate them!" Lily howled, her voice choked with tears. Her anger had melted like an ice cream in the sun. She collapsed on her bed and cried and cried and cried. Marly walked over to her and wrapped her arms around her.

"Sssshhhhh." Marly soothed as an avalanche of tears fell from Lily's eyes. Now the guilt was pouring in at a great rate.

"It's all my fault!" She sobbed, "I'm a bad person and they had to pay for it. I should have died instead. They shouldn't have died!" Lily was still in hysterics and she felt as if a knife had been plunged into her chest, the pain was so bad.

"Lily, you're not a bad person, don't you ever think that." Marly was crying now too. She couldn't stand to see Lily like this and it tore her apart. "What happened was an accident and there was nothing you could do. You are a good person and you aren't responsible for what happened in any way, shape or form. It's not fair but there is nothing you could have done." Marly tried to talk some sense into her still sobbing friend but it had little effect. But she had to get through to her.

"It's not your fault. It just happened. It was an accident, a mistake."

Minutes passed and Lily's hysteria subsided. Her tears lessened, her anger had evaporated into thin air but her guilt lingered.

"God, what's happening to me? I'm like an out-of-control monster or a hurricane, leaving a trail of destruction everywhere I go, hurting everyone I love most." A single tear trailed down Lily's face.

Marly reached out and grabbed Lily's hand. She squeezed it gently and whispered, "It'll be okay, Lils."

---

The rest of the afternoon passed in a blur for Lily. She barely remembered anything from double herbology. And before she knew it, she was back in her dormitory after dinner.

Lily sat on her bed with Marly next to her in silence. The room was deserted and Lily was glad that she didn't have to explain to Clara and Natalie too. Lily had confided a lot in Marly today but there was one subject that had been left untouched and Lily could tell that Marly was desperate to ask her about it. Deciding to put her out of her misery, Lily broke the silence.

"He was there that night." Lily said simply when she looked up to see Marly's questioning eyes. She was referring to James and what had happened earlier that day. "He found me in a terrible state and he took care of me. He took me somewhere, I'm not sure exactly, he said something about a room that turned into anything. And, I don't know, he was different. Kind, caring, almost…well…nice."

Marly looked surprised but didn't interrupt. When Lily didn't continue, Marly spoke.

"Is that all?" Marly could tell there was something more but Lily was giving nothing away.

"Umm, yes. That was it." Lily said shakily, not meeting her eye. Normally Marly would have pestered her until she answered but Lily was still too fragile. She didn't want to upset her anymore.

"And how are you now?" Marly asked cautiously. She didn't know whether Lily was ready to talk about her parents yet. And she didn't want to trigger another outburst like before.

"I'm not so sure really. Confused, I guess. And sad still, of course. I miss them so much. And I'm worried about Petunia but I'm scared to contact her. I'm scared of what she'll say and I'm scared she will still hate me. I guess I just need time." Lily spoke softly. "I'm sorry for all I put you through. It's just such a huge thing to process."

"Oh, Lily!" Marly hugged her again. "Don't worry about it. You're getting better now and that's all that matters. And eventually the pain will lessen and maybe even one day you will laugh at your memories of them instead of cry." Marly understood well, having lost her own father at a young age.

"Just remember, Lil. I am always here for you if you need someone to talk to." Marly continued earnestly.

"You're the best Marly!" For the first time in over a month Lily managed a small smile. It wasn't much but at least it was real.

"I missed you Lily! It's good to have you back!" Marly pulled Lily into another tight hug. It took Lily a moment to recognise the foreign emotion that had arisen inside her. Happiness. She was far from recovered but she was slowly getting there. Her journey of the grief cycle was far from over. She had suffered shock and disbelief, than denial in a big way, depression came with that, then rage overwhelmed her before guilt set in. Now she was on her way to acceptance and moving on to the long road of recovery. But she had friends who loved her, and right then, that meant everything to her.


	9. Friends?

**Thanks a lot for the reviews from Amenti, tennisjock, amanamanam and american nymphadora. Also thanks to bossyboots for adding this story as a favourite. This chapter is back to Lily and James. Hope you like it! (I also hope I don't get too repetitive with the thanks to reviewers but I really appreciate all the reviews and like to acknowledge everyone who has taken the time to write one, and also feel free to mention it if I do every forget someone, I'm really sorry if I do!)**

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**Ch 9: Friends?**

As November drew to an end, Lily still hadn't heard a word from Petunia. The last she had heard was a letter from her parents a few weeks before they had died announcing that Petunia was engaged to a vile man named Vernon Dursley who she had been dating for forever and a day. Lily was not surprised but had been hurt that Petunia could even bring herself to contact her only sister with the news of her engagement.

"You coming Lily?" Clara called as her and Marly stood at the portrait hole of the common room. Grabbing her bag, Lily joined them as they made their way to breakfast. It was the weekend again and Lily was glad. The week had been a long and tiring one, what with finally coming to terms with the death of her parents and all the hysterical fits she had thrown. Her mood swings had subsided and Lily knew that her friends were glad.

"I'll meet you guys in a minute, I forgot something." Lily turned quickly as she saw the Marauders approaching. She had been avoiding James as much as possible and was hoping he hadn't just seen her. Recently he seemed particularly keen to talk to her and Lily wanted nothing more than avoid seeing him.

Unfortunately for Lily, James saw her glance in his direction before hurrying away. With a wave at his friends, James raced after Lily until he caught up with her.

"Lily, wait up!" James was barely puffing he was so fit from quidditch.

"Look, I really can't talk right now, we can talk another time." Lily desperately wanted to run away from him but he wasn't going to let her get away that easily.

"You can't avoid me forever, you know. We have a few hours of rounds tonight." James was very persistent. Admitting defeat, Lily turned to face him, still standing 3 metres away.

Lily refused to meet James' eyes that continued to bore into her. She didn't want to have this discussion since she had overheard his late night confessions. Lily knew she should be honest with him but she badly wanted to put it off as long as possible. Unfortunately, that didn't look like it was going to happen.

"You seem really awkward around me, have I done something wrong?" James asked her seriously. Damn right she was awkward around him. Not only had she heard some of his secrets but he also had no idea. He had seen her in an incredibly unattractive state (now that was an understatement, she had probably looked like a hideous monster that night) and she had actually hugged him and clung to him as she blubbered like a baby. She was like a human hosepipe around him! If that wasn't mortifying, Lily didn't know what was!

"Umm, no." Lily was blushing hard. It was now or never. "Look James, I really appreciate everything you have done for me recently but we can go back to normal now. You don't have to act concerned about me anymore. I'm fine." Not quite the confession she was trying to get out but at least she had the thank you out of the way.

And before she could stop herself or chicken out, the words were tumbling out of Lily's mouth.

"I heard you that night when you though I was asleep!" Lily blushed furiously but James looked unabashed.

"How much did you hear?" James wanted to get the facts straight before he made even more of an arse of himself.

"Uh, all of it." Lily spoke quietly to her toes.

Well, this is suitably awkward, James thought. Although Lily did look more embarrassed than he felt. Still, there was no point denying what he had said. Maybe he could even show Lily that he could be honest and mature. Well, try to be mature anyway.

"So, I guess it's all out in the open now. Do you believe me now that I really like you?" There. Short sharp and shiny. Honest and straight to the point. James felt that he couldn't have put it better if he tried. Lily's face matched her hair now and she continued to avoid his eyes.

"You know, I haven't been asking you out for 4 years because I particularly enjoy being turned down. It damages my ego. So, I'll ask again, will you go out with me Lily?" James attempted to add some humour to lighten the mood but Lily's face wasn't looking promising. Maybe he had badly misjudged the situation. Again. Lily looked like she desperately wanted to run away and hide and never come out again.

"Please don't James!" Lily begged, finally meeting his eyes. "I really can't deal with this right now."

Her eyes were pleading with him. He didn't need her to say it. She didn't like him back. James felt his heart sink as disappointment and rejection spread through his body, not for the first time. Lily had told him many times that she hated him or that she would never go out with him, but this time it was different and she knew it too. This time it hurt so much more.

"I'm really sorry James. Can we be friends?" Lily offered, looking like she was going to cry as she tried desperately to repair the situation.

James smiled carelessly, ignoring his hurt and trying to act casual, like he didn't care. Hey, at least she had offered to be friends. That was definitely something new and definitely progress.

"Sure." James said easily, "If friends is all you want then I'll take what I can get." James shot her another dazzling smile and Lily relaxed a little.

"Great." Lily said awkwardly before turning around and heading back to the Great Hall. Had she really just offered to be friends with James Potter? What on earth was she thinking? She hated James Potter, didn't she?

---

Lily arrived at the Gryffindor table looking pale and clammy. She barely even noticed what she was putting on her plate.

"What's wrong Lily? You look sick." Marly asked looking concerned.

"Later." Lily mumbled back shooting a quick look at Clara who was looking on curiously.

Breakfast was one of the most uncomfortable meals Lily had had in a while. James was sitting a few seats down and kept looking over at her and grinning mischievously. He had forgotten his hurt at her rejection earlier and was now thrilled at the opportunity to be friends. Who was he to complain? It had only taken him 7 years to get to friends, maybe by the time he's thirty she might even start to fancy him. Blushing furiously every time he caught her looking at him, Lily tried to hurry Marly along.

"Lily!" A disgruntled Marly said as Lily just about dragged her from the Great Hall. "I was eating."

"Quit complaining, I need to talk to you." Lily replied impatiently as she gave the password to the Fat Lady.

In the common room, Lily sat down in the corner away from the other students. Marly joined her, looking curious. After 10 minutes of silence, Marly interrupted.

"Did you drag me all the way up here just to stare at the floor?" Marly tried to sound annoyed but she was far too curious. Lily shook her head.

"Is there something you haven't told me?" Marly asked. Lily nodded. "Something to do with James Potter, perhaps?" Another nod.

Marly remembered her conversation with Lily after her hysterical fit a few weeks ago. James had been mentioned but Lily had been keeping something from her.

"So…?" Marly prompted.

Lily groaned in frustration. "There was more about that night than I told you."

Marly nodded encouragingly. "Did you kiss?" She asked bluntly.

Lily looked shocked. "What? NO, no, of course not! Where would you get that idea?" Lily looked distressed at the question.

Marly shrugged. "I didn't think so, it would be very unlike you but I had to ask. And it's not like he wouldn't have wanted to."

"Marly, you are terrible." Lily scolded, still looking unhappy.

"Don't change the subject."

Lily explained what had happened, while blushing furiously, and what James had said.

"And just then, I told him and he said he really liked me _again_!" Lily continued. "I kind of felt sorry for him so I offered to be friends." Lily buried her face in her hands while Marly laughed.

"Lily, it's not the end of the world. You're friends with James Potter, so what? And there are much worse things than having a guy, an incredibly hot guy if I may say so, admit to you that he really likes you. Now what's the problem?"

Lily gave Marly a 'well duh' look. "The problem is that I don't like Potter and I can't possibly be friends with him because he is irritating and he drives me insane with his bullying, his showing off and the way he constantly flirts with me. Oh, and the tiny fact that he teases and makes fun of me all the time!"

Marly rolled her eyes, Lily really was ridiculous. Most girls would be over the moon if a guy admitted he liked them, especially James Potter, but not Lily. Instead she got uncomfortable and embarrassed.

"Lily, I tease you and make fun of you all the time. What's the difference? Except the obvious, that I'm not a guy, I don't flirt with you and I don't fancy you?" Marly grinned, unable to help herself. "No offence."

Lily glared at her but Marly could see she was struggling to contain her smile. "It's just different."

Marly rolled her eyes.

"How do I know if he's only making fun of me and joking around or if he's really serious?" Lily asked, looking confused and way out of her depth.

"Lily, considering both the circumstances in which he told you, it seems highly unlikely to me that he wasn't serious."

Lily looked terrified. "Oh, that's even worse. Now everything is going to be awkward because I don't like him back!" Lily wailed.

"Listen to me Lil." Marly shook Lily's shoulders. "It doesn't matter. Just act normal and be friends. You might even surprise yourself and find you like him. And if you don't then you can go back to hating him like you always did. Simple."

Lily hardly dared to believe it. "That simple?" Lily asked wide-eyed and astonished.

"That simple." Marly confirmed with a laugh. And suddenly they were both laughing uncontrollably at the ridiculousness of the whole situation. So James Potter liked her, so what? He would eventually get over it and they might even be friends.

---

**This chapter was originally twice as long but I made it two separate chapters instead. Sorry! I just like having shorter chapters (and therefore more of them which hopefully means more reviews! ;-) lol.) However, to make up for that the next chapter will be posted really soon :-) **

**Anyway, next chapter is the patrols. Can Lily and James finally become friends or will it backfire badly? Well, at least Lily told James that she heard his late night (or early morning) confessions, so it can't be all bad, right?**

**BTW: I never thanked madsdagirl for telling me what AU meant, that had been bugging me for ages! So thanks!**


	10. About Time

**Thanks again to Amenti, american nymphadora and amanamanam for reviewing!**

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**Ch 10: About Time**

"Ready to go and patrol the corridors Lily?" James stood at the base of the stairs going up to the girls' dormitories grinning broadly.

Lily smiled weakly back. Despite all of what Marly had told her, Lily still felt awkward.

"So, _friend_ Lily, where should we start?" James asked with a giant grin and the enthusiasm of one who had just won the lottery.

Together they made their way across the castle, checking the freezing corridors, occasionally catching a student out of bed and docking points. Lily felt slightly less uncomfortable but still didn't know how to go about this whole friend thing. To be honest, Lily didn't really know much about James except that he came from a rich, pure-blood family and that he was a bully and mischief maker.

James was the one who broke the ice and started to talk about himself. Lily was thankful that she hadn't been left to start the conversation. She really was a terrible conversation starter.

For hours they walked and even laughed. James shared outrageous stories of his childhood and last summer with Sirius staying with him and wreaking havoc all over the place.

"You did not!" Lily could barely speak through her laughter.

"We did." James confirmed, trying hard to look serious but failing miserably and laughing hard also.

"Now, your turn, I've just about told you my whole life story. I still don't know much about you except that your beautiful and smart and funny and my new _friend_." James had been trying to add that into the conversation as much possible, and while it hadn't annoyed Lily before, it seemed to now.

"I'm not!" Lily said sounding slightly irritable. James just laughed good-naturedly again.

"What? My friend or beautiful, smart and funny?" James joked.

"Stop it." Lily said, only now she sounded angry. James had thought that she was joking too but he could tell now that he had been very wrong.

Taking a calming breath, Lily's face drained of anger. "I'm sorry, I just don't like compliments. I am quite well aware that I am not pretty or funny or interesting and I really do not need my nose rubbed in it by _you_." Lily looked upset but defiant. "Marly is the charismatic, funny one that everyone loves and I'm just boring Lily Evans who everyone forgets or doesn't even notice in the first place."

James looked truly shocked. What was she talking about? She was the most amazing girl he knew. A minute ago they had been getting along like a house on fire. What had gone so horribly wrong?

"I don't study so hard because I particularly always wanted the title of 'Lily the Nerd' or 'Lily the Bookworm'. I can't change what I look like or the kind person I am, but I _can_ work hard and I _can_ get good marks. And maybe one day I can make more of myself than a boring little freak with her nose glued to a book."

Astounded, James eventually found his voice. "Who told you that? Who told you all those things?" He sounded angry and this time it was Lily's turn to be surprised.

"It's nothing alright. Just drop it and let's continue our rounds." Lily looked ashamed of herself and rubbed her eyes roughly.

"No! I won't drop it. I want to know where you got all those ridiculous ideas from!" James was astounded at Lily's lack of confidence in herself.

"My sister." Lily said quietly, hoping he wouldn't hear. "She been telling me that my whole life."

"Your sister?" James asked incredulously. "Your sister told you all that?" He still sounded angry.

Lily had never really admitted to anyone how much her sisters' words and constant insults hurt her. Marly had known that Lily didn't have very much self-confidence but not even she realised it had all stemmed from Petunia's taunts.

Many teenagers suffered from self-esteem issues and Lily was no exception. Most of the time she was fine, only when people, mainly James, showered her with compliments did it bother her. Lily found it impossible to accept a compliment and often thought that the person was just making fun of her. She told James as much.

"She's always told me I won't ever make anything of myself. To her I'm just a useless boring freak who will one day meet a sticky end which will be no more than I deserve for being abnormal." Lily told James sadly. She hated to admit her weakness. While Petunia was always cruel and horrible to her, Lily felt defensive of her sister. She didn't quite understand why but she never wanted anyone to know how mean Petunia was, dislike her or talk badly of her. Clinging to an impossible hope, Lily unwisely believed that maybe one day Petunia could forgive her for being a witch and maybe even love her. Doubtful, but a hope that Lily clung to nonetheless.

"Lily," James said seriously, "You are not a freak and I mean it when I tell you that you're beautiful and funny and interesting. You don't have to compare yourself to Marly. She may be more outgoing but she definitely isn't anymore fun or interesting than you. And as for your sister," James scowled, "don't listen to her. She's just jealous because she could never be as amazing a person as you are!"

"You're not just saying that?" Lily asked disbelievingly.

"Of course not!" James said firmly. "I mean it. Honestly." Lily smiled and James returned it.

"Did you know that that was one of the reasons I hated you so much for so long?" Lily asked.

"What?" James was curious now. "So that was why you hated me more than Sirius, because I complimented you? And flirted with you?"

"Yep. I hated you both because you were fat-headed, bullying prats," Lily grinned cheekily at him and James laughed, "but you always confused me so much with your compliments that I couldn't stand you! I always thought you were making fun of me."

"Never!" James exclaimed honestly.

"So," He shot Lily another playful grin, hoping his humour wasn't going to backfire on him again. "now that we've sorted out your self-esteem issues, revealed that you 'hated' me, past tense, and acknowledged that I am not-joking when I compliment you, does that mean I can bombard you with flattery without you getting mad at me?"

Lily hit him playfully on the arm and laughed again. Was she really friends with James Potter? After all those years of hating him, now here she was, laughing and joking with him like they had been friends forever. Gosh, had she really also just confided in him?

"My beautiful, charming, smart, funny, amazing Lily." James bent over and exaggeratedly pretended to kiss Lily's feet while Lily laughed hysterically, everything from before forgotten. "My _friend_ Lily." He smiled cheekily.

"You do realise that there are conditions, right?" Lily asked jokingly with an irresistibly sweet smile, in James' opinion. Dammit, James thought, that's not fair, she shouldn't be able to smile that nicely, she had an unfair advantage over him!

"Conditions?" James pouted like a child. "That's not fair!" Catching Lily's joking look of disapproval, he stopped pouting. "Fine. Name your terms."

"Well, for a start, no jinxing people _including Snape_." James face was one of great distaste.

"Come on Lily, that's not fair. Snape is a slimy git, he deserves to be jinxed! If you like, I will make a concerted effort not to jinx him in front of you so you don't feel obligated to do anything about it." James gave what he thought was a winning smile which Lily returned but continued to look expectantly at him. "Fine, fine. No jinxing Snape." James said in a resigned voice keeping his fingers crossed tightly behind his back.

"And all future pranks must have the Lily Evans seal of approval before they go ahead." Lily was testing him and she was also slightly curious about how far he would go to be her friend. James and his friends loved playing pranks. And to be honest, even Lily found a lot of their pranks quite funny, as long as they didn't injure anyone, or God forbid, involve spiders.

"Lily." James whined, "That would take all the fun and surprise out of it! Not to mention that Sirius, Remus and Peter would kill me." Lily smiled. Good answer, apart from the whining. He had proved his loyalty to his friends and even Lily grudgingly admired him for that. And Lily hadn't really wanted to monitor their pranks anyway. She had enough work as it was.

"Fine. But at least try to not strut around the corridors. And God forbid, stop messing up your hair!" Lily said with a pained expression while James laughed hysterically.

"Deal." James said holding out his hand. Shaking his hand, Lily smiled.

"So guess we're friends." She said looking up at him questioningly.

"Damn straight!" Said James firmly. "And about bloody time if you ask me." And companionably, they strolled the corridors.

Lily was surprised at her lack of embarrassment with James. He knew to give her some time and not overbear her with the soppy stuff about how much he liked her. For now he was content to laugh and joke around with her while flirting harmlessly. And Lily, quite honestly now that she knew he wasn't making fun of her, could do with the self-esteem boost. She still had years worth of Petunia insults to get over.

Laughing, Lily and James continued their rounds for another few hours. James was deliriously happy. After so many years, he had finally cracked Lily Evans. For the first time she was laughing at something _he_ had said instead of yelling and she was smiling at him without a hint of sarcasm. The girl he had fancied forever was finally talking to him in a friendly manner.

"So, tell me about you Lily Evans." James said smiling at her. She had got his life story but he still knew little about her.

Lily smiled and began the stories of her own childhood. James listened with rapt attention at her non-magical upbringing, fascinated with the things like computers and muggle school.

Lily was proud of herself. In less than three months, she had overcome some huge hurdles with James. For the first time she had managed to see beyond the arrogant, bulling prat she had hated for years.

He's really not so bad, Lily thought to herself. And in the most unlikely person ever, Lily found a new friend.


	11. Bittersweet

**Thanks to Bookybookbook, american nymphadora and amanamanam for reviewing! Thank you also to Bookybookbook for adding this story as a favourite. **

**Sorry I took a while to update but I've been suffering a bit of writer's block. I know what is going to happen I am just having trouble actually writing it all down! I've also started writing a new fanfic and I have a plan for a third. I want to have a few chapters written before I start posting and so far I've only written the prologue and the first chapter.**

**Anyway, here is chapter 11. Hope you guys like it :-)**

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**Ch 11: Bittersweet**

The weather grew steadily colder as December approached. Professor McGonagall came around with the list of students staying at Hogwarts for Christmas. Sadly, Lily signed up at once for her first, and last, Christmas at Hogwarts. Marly, being the loyal friend she was, signed up as well. As much as Marly insisted she was only signing up because she couldn't stand another Christmas with her Aunt Mabel and her screaming cousins, Lily knew that she didn't want Lily to be alone for Christmas and Lily appreciated it.

Lily was surprised and secretly kind of pleased when she saw James sign up as well. After their first night of friendly rounds, Lily had begun to enjoy her fun and humorous conversations with the popular Marauder. James glowed with self congratulation when he succeeded in making Lily laugh which he did as often as possible.

"So, I hear I'm going to have the privilege of your pleasurable company this Christmas, Evans!" James exclaimed cheerfully as he bumped into Lily as he exited the common room.

"So it seems." Lily replied with a small smile. The upcoming Christmas wasn't a huge source of delight for Lily. It made her sad to remember her previous Christmases at home with her parents. Petunia had sent her a perfunctory note the other day (a rare occurrence, Petunia hated owls) saying that she was not welcome to spend Christmas with her and Vernon. Lily was sad but not surprised. After all, Petunia had always dreaded Lily's return for Christmas.

"I know it's going to be hard for you Lily." James said earnestly as they walked to breakfast in the great hall together. He caught her sad smile and wanted to make her feel better.

"I promise that between me, Remus and Sirius, you'll have a blast!" James was trying to make her laugh again. "Just think about it, snowball fights, warm nights toasting marshmallows by the fire in the common room, a fabulous display of fireworks, my enjoyable company 24/7, what could be better?" Lily smiled warmly and James felt a rush of pleasure. He never ceased to enjoy making her laugh or smile.

"I suppose that means you'll expect a Christmas present then, does it Potter?" Lily asked with a smirk as she sat down next to Marly at the table who was already munching on her toast.

"Of course. But don't go out of your way or anything. The brand new Nimbus 1500 would be fine."

"You don't half have expensive taste do you, Potter?" asked Lily, rolling her eyes as she buttered her toast. The Nimbus 1500 was brand new and hideously expensive.

Just then the morning post arrived and a horde of owls fluttered across the hall, delivering notes and parcels to the students.

"Do you know when the next Hogsmeade weekend will be Lily?" Marly asked as she skimmed the front page of the Daily Prophet, "I have a mountain of Christmas shopping to do before the holidays." James winked knowingly at Lily as Marly spoke and Lily ignored him but a smile twitched at the corners of her mouth.

"There is one scheduled for the last weekend of term which is in two weeks. The notice should be up soon." Since Lily and James had organised all the Hogsmeade dates at the beginning of the year, Lily knew them all off by heart.

"Great, I really need –" Marly broke off when a Hufflepuff 5th year girl leapt up from the table and fled from the hall in a flood of tears. Two other Hufflepuff girls raced after their friend looking sad and worried.

"What was that about?" Lily asked looking shocked and concerned. The Hufflepuff table was muttering quietly as news was passed down the row of students.

"Be back in a sec." Marly said as she strode over to the Hufflepuff table. A minute later she sat down next to Lily looking solemn. James and the other Marauders leaned over to listen.

"The poor girl just got a letter from her parents. Her brother who works at the Ministry was killed in a Death Eater attack yesterday." Marly looked white and Lily felt something grip her heart.

Lily felt ashamed of herself. Sure she was coping with a huge tragedy but she certainly wasn't the only one. She felt so selfish. There she was thinking that she was the only person in the world to have lost people she loved. She wasn't. Voldemort was getting stronger and gathering more supporters by the day. Deaths and injuries by his faithful Death Eaters were becoming more and more common.

Lily felt rage like she had never felt before overwhelm her. She knew the unbearable pain of losing loved ones. That poor Hufflepuff girl had to deal with the horror of knowing that her brother had been murdered. Murdered by a bunch of cold-blooded killers. Lily couldn't imagine the anger that poor girl must feel not to mention the pain. How could someone do this? It all boiled down to one person, if you could even call him that: Voldemort. Voldemort was responsible for ruining all these people's lives, tearing families apart, instilling fear in every person.

The shattering of glass interrupted Lily's thoughts. She hadn't realised how tightly she had been gripping her glass of orange juice until it shattered, spilling the orange liquid all over the table and leaving a large cut in Lily's hand.

"Are you okay Lily?" Marly asked her worriedly as she passed her a serviette to stop the blood flowing from the cut on her hand.

"I'm fine." Lily said dismissively as she ignored James' pointed stare. Marly nodded and waved her wand to clear up the spilt drink. She seemed to understand what had been going on inside Lily's head and she too looked sad and angry.

"It's cruel. Cruel that one person can cause so much fear and tragedy to so many. We can only hope that something or someone can stop him before he becomes unstoppable." This time Lily nodded and she knew that the Marauders had been listening intently. James looked murderous, Remus sad, Sirius shot a hateful glare at the Slytherins' and Peter looked frightened, which wasn't much of a change.

Looking up at the teacher's table Lily could see that Dumbledore was in deep discussion with Professor McGonagall. He looked sombre and Lily felt fear grip her for the first time. This was really happening. Nowhere and no one was safe anymore. And this was only the beginning.

---

One week before the end of term, Lily was delighted to wake up and find the muddy Hogwarts grounds covered in a layer of fresh snow. While she hated the cold, Lily loved snow. Unfortunately the two didn't really go together very well.

Christmas cheer was everywhere and Lily couldn't help but find it catching. Professor Flitwick had decorated his classroom with live fairies that glowed brightly and the students all happily chattered about their holiday plans. The castle looked magnificent, with strings of holly and tinsel wrapped around stair banisters, glowing candles illuminated the suits of armour helmets and bunches of mistletoe were strung along the corridors. The usual twelve Christmas trees decorated the Great Hall, covered in multicoloured bubbles, sparkling icicles and glittering candles.

The last week of term passed quickly and the seventh years were given a mountain of homework in preparation for their N.E.W.T's later in the year. Before she knew it, the last day of term arrived and the Hogsmeade weekend was nearly upon them.

"Today, class, we will be learning the Protean Charm which is likely to come up in your NEWTs." Tiny Professor Flitwick squeaked from his pile of books. "Now, who can tell me what a Protean Charm is?"

As usual, Lily had her hand in the air. She was about to answer, since she was usually the only person to have her hand up, when Professor Flitwick looked right past her. Instead, his eyes rested on the person behind her who also had their hand up.

"What a pleasant surprise! Mr Potter?" Lily smiled and looked questioningly at James. This was definitely a first.

James winked at Lily cheekily before speaking, "A Protean Charm is used to make one object mimic another."

"Well done, Mr Potter. Ten points to Gryffindor." Professor Flitwick said to a grinning James. "Now, using the correct incantation, practice the charm on the objects in front of you."

For the remainder of the lesson, Lily expertly practiced the charm while Marly cursed beside her.

"Stupid charm!" She said angrily as her spell failed for the 6th time in a row.

Behind them, James was watching Lily, his head tilted to the side and a dreamy expression on his face. As she tossed her hair, James admired the way the light caught the dark red strands, bringing out the golden highlights.

She turned around and smiled when she caught him looking at her. Trying to look calm, cool and collected, James smiled back and quickly bent his head to pretend that he was working.

James had thought that friendship would be enough for him. He had hoped he could put his other feelings for her aside, especially since she clearly didn't return them. But it was hard.

Every time he was with her, it was like having a constant bittersweet heartache. He loved every moment he was with her, and when he wasn't he longed to be near her. But he wanted more. He wanted more than friendship.

It was like a cake. You wait desperately for when you can eat it. You savour the first mouthful, content with the rich chocolate taste. But then, it isn't enough. The more you eat, the more you want. Not that he was comparing Lily to a cake or anything.

Each time James looked at Lily he was filled with an unbelievable happiness at just having her around, but at the same time an overbearing sadness that he was only a friend to her. That that was all he was ever going to be. Maybe being friends with Lily was even harder that being hated by her.

"Psst, James!" Sirius whispered to his friend beside him, pulling him from his daydream.

"Not now, Padfoot." James replied, his brow furrowed in concentration. Lily was looking at him and he was trying very hard to behave himself to impress her, and so far it appeared to be working. Pity the charm wasn't though.

She smiled prettily at him as he succeeded in casting the charm correctly, and in his distraction, James accidentally poked Sirius in the eye with his wand.

"Ouch!" Sirius said rubbing his eye.

After deciding that he wasn't going to go blind in the near future Sirius elbowed James. "Oi Prongs! Want to see what happens if I set Snivelly's pants on fire?" He asked with a grin.

"No, we'll get into trouble." He didn't want to spoil all his good work from the lesson. He was trying to show Lily that he had changed. Maybe then she would realise that he was the perfect guy for her.

Sirius looked at James with a funny expression on his face. James couldn't quite pick it but he didn't like the look of it. At that moment, the bell rang for the end of lesson. The class rose quickly, glad that their last lesson of the term was finally over.

"Class dismissed! Merry Christmas and safe holidays." Professor Flitwick called to a number of retreating backs.

"What happened to you mate?" Sirius asked James, shaking his head. And without a further glance, Sirius left the room, leaving a stunned James behind. What was that all about?

Lily came up behind James, pulling him out of his reverie. "Well done James!" She smiled with congratulations. "Who knew you could pay attention to a teacher for that long?" She joked as they all headed towards the Gryffindor common room.

James smiled but he was still distracted. He had never seen Sirius like that before. What was going on? Why was Sirius angry all of a sudden? Casting his thoughts away, James turned his attention back to Lily who was talking to him. He would sort out whatever was bothering Sirius later. After all, tomorrow night was a full moon.


	12. The Rules of Buying Presents

**Thanks to griffinphoenix, amanamanam and Bookybookbook for reviewing and to .Sorrowful.Bookworm., fairybells5 and potterfan7993 for adding this story as a favourite! I love reading your reviews and having people add this story as a favourite so thanks a lot! You make writing this story so much more worth while:-)**

**Here is chapter 12! And while a lot of the things in this story may not seem all that relevant now, there are quite a few things that will happen later on that I lead up to in previous chapters. Anyway, I'll stop blabbering on and let you read the story!**

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**Ch 12: The Rules of Buying Presents **

"Wake up Lily!" Natalie said sharply as she poked Lily in the side. "If you don't get up now we're going without you."

Lily opened her eyes groggily and saw Natalie's impatient face looking back at her. She could hear the sound of Clara and Marly getting themselves ready in the bathroom.

"I'm up, I'm up. Don't get your knickers in a knot!" Lily said as she slid out of her warm bed and started to get dressed. Always one to get cold, Lily added a few extra layers to keep her warm.

After a quick breakfast, the four girls walked towards Hogsmeade, shivering in the icy wind. Splitting up to do all the necessary Christmas shopping, the four girls went their separate ways.

Marly had barely gone three steps when she found herself face to face with none other than James Potter.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" James asked. Something about his uncomfortable face made her give in.

"Sure, Potter. What do you want to talk about?" Marly got on quite well with James, but years of being Lily's best friend had forced her into the habit of calling him by his surname.

"Umm, I wanted to talk to you about Lily." Marly raised her eyebrows in interest. With an encouraging nod from Marly, James continued. "As you are probably very well aware, I really like Lily. And before you jump to conclusions," James added hastily seeing Marly open her mouth to speak. "I am not here to convince you to make her go out with me. Far from it in fact. She has to make that decision, or not make that decision, for herself."

Marly was surprised. She had never seen this side of James Potter before. And he genuinely did seem to like Lily. Marly kind of felt sorry for James, what with Lily not returning his affections and all. But all in all, James did seem like a decent guy. Grudgingly, Marly had to admit that she had thought James was going to ask her to try and get Lily to go out with him.

"Anyway, as much as I hate to admit this, I don't have a lot of experience in this matter." He paused for a second with a pained expression. "What do you buy a girl for Christmas?"

Marly laughed out loud, lightening the mood. James grinned too for a minute before Marly became all business.

"Ok, first piece of advice. Don't try and go all romantic or anything. You'll scare her." James nodded while Marly spoke.

"You want to give her something platonic. As much as you wish otherwise," At this point Marly gave James an apologetic look, "you are only friends and your present had to reflect that." Marly didn't want to keep rubbing his nose in the fact that he was only friends with Lily, but she knew how much Lily had grown to value James' friendship this past month. If James moved too fast for her, knowing Lily she would get scared and run. Marly would hate to see Lily and James' friendship fall apart. It would destroy both parties.

"Girls' read a lot into the present a guy gives them so it has to be appropriate and send the message you want. So roses, especially red ones are definitely out. Too romantic. Perfume is too much of a personal thing. Not even I would be brave enough to buy her perfume unless I was sure she liked it. And she'll think you're trying to hint that she smells and offend her." James' head was spinning. Who knew buying a present for a girl could be so complicated?

"A book?" James suggested. Marly looked horrified.

"Are you joking? A book is what you buy your father, or someone you don't like and can't think of what to buy." Marly shook her head fiercely as she spoke.

"But she likes reading." James said defensively. Marly, however, ignored him.

"Girls like make up, but as a guy it isn't really appropriate for you to buy her make up. And even if you could, she'd think you're trying to hint that she's ugly and she will be even more offended than if you bought her perfume. Jewellery is difficult too. Be careful if you buy her jewellery, and only some necklaces and bracelets are appropriate. No rings."

"You've told me everything I _can't_ buy her, which sounds to me like pretty much everything. So, what _can_ I buy her?" James asked sounding exasperated.

"Hmm, I guess that leaves you things like…some kinds of jewellery as long as it isn't anything romantic…and…anything else you can think of. Apart from roses, books, perfume, make up, rings and some other kinds of jewellery. But remember, keep it platonic!" Marly seemed to have finished with the conversation and was looking interestedly at the shop they were standing outside of.

"Right, thanks Marly." James said sounding dejected. Now he had even less of an idea what to buy Lily.

"You're welcome James. Just think about it. And good luck!" Marly called as she walked into the shop.

Good luck. Well he was definitely going to need that. There were so many rules! And think about it? That's what he had been doing for the last few days and he had come up with nothing. Nothing!

Setting off feeling hopeless, James ran over everything Marly had told him. Platonic. No roses, no books, no perfume, no make up, no rings, and jewellery in general just seemed far too hard. What on earth was he going to buy her?

---

After many hours of hunting through shops, the four girls met up, carefully disguising their bags, trying to hide what they had bought from each other.

"Let's go to The Three Broomsticks." Suggested Clara, her cheeks pink from the fierce wind. "I'm freezing. I could really do with a butterbeer!"

"Great idea!" Lily replied, trying to stop her teeth from chattering.

Pulling the door open they entered the crowded, noisy pub. Making their way to the back of the room, Marly, Clara and Lily sat down at a vacant table beside the window. The roaring fire warmed their frozen fingers as snowdrifts swirled in the window. Minutes later, Natalie joined them clutching four tankards of foaming hot butterbeer.

"Thanks Nat." Lily said as she took a sip of her butterbeer and felt the warmth wash over her.

"Merry Christmas." Natalie replied raising her tankard to her three friends.

"Don't have too much fun without us!" Clara said with a smile. Clara and Natalie were both going home for Christmas.

"And don't forget to miss us!" Natalie added with a grin.

With all their school work and everything else going on, the girls had had little time to spend with each other. Trying to make the best of their time today, they sat in the pub for hours, chatting and laughing.

"Clara, how could you?" Marly laughed looking scandalised. "Marty Franklin!"

"I know I know!" Clara wailed, burying her face in her hands but laughing too. "He looked really handsome in the dark!" She added defensively. Natalie snorted loudly.

"He did!" Clara insisted. "It was only after, that I realised who he was." She said despairingly.

"I guess the boils all over his face and his snaggle tooth **(A/N I don't actually really know what that is but it is mentioned in mean girls and I thought it was funny)** were hard to miss once you saw him in the light!" Natalie said between laughs.

"So what did you do then?" Lily asked curiously, gaining control over her laughter.

"I ran!" Clara said with a 'well duh' look. "What else could I do? He's hideous! If anyone saw me, my reputation would have been ruined!" Clara said looking scandalised.

Laughter carried on until the sky grew dark and they decided to head back to the castle.

"Look, it's a full moon!" Lily said pointing up to the sky. She shivered involuntarily as the chilly wind whipped her face fiercely.

Together, Clara, Natalie, Marly and Lily trudged through the snow back up to the castle. The walk was long and cold and they were all relieved to reach the shelter of the entrance hall.

As Marly pulled the heavy door open, Lily glanced across the grounds. It was a beautiful night, the sky was clear and the bright moon cast an eerie glow across the frosty grounds. Just as she turned to follow her friends, something caught Lily's eye. A beautiful stag stood by the frozen lake staring directly at her, bathed in moonlight. Its dark coffee coloured coat glowed brilliantly but something about its eyes struck Lily. They looked so familiar yet she couldn't place them. But before Lily could get a better look at the magnificent animal it turned its antlered head and cantered off into the distance.

"Hurry up Lily! It's freezing!" Marly said impatiently, peering around to look at her.

With one quick glance backwards at the empty grounds, Lily followed her friends inside, her mind still on the beautiful creature she had just seen.


	13. An Unforgettable Christmas

**Thanks for the reviews from Bookybookbook, marauders rox, american nymphadora and amanamanam! Also thanks to marauders rox and x. lips of an angel for making this story a favourite :-)**

**I'm glad some of you found the last chapter funny, I tried to make it so and I'm thrilled that I didn't fail miserably :-) So thanks a lot for all your positive feedback. Not making any promises yet but updates should be every few days or so for the next two weeks as I have holidays (yay!) and unfortunately most of my friends are going away so I will have more free time than I know what to do with and should have plenty of time to write.**

**---**

**Ch 13: An Unforgettable Christmas **

Christmas dawned and the morning sun shone over five sleeping figures. Lily was fast asleep, curled up in a ball in the corner of the couch closest to the fire. Also sharing the couch, Marly had her head resting on Lily's back.

Sirius was sprawled over the second couch, his feet dangling off the edge. Clearly booted off the couch where he had originally been sleeping, Remus lay uncomfortably on the floor. His head was on the floor, his back resting on the side of the couch while his feet waved up in the air. Sirius' feet were hanging a little too close to Remus' face and his foot twitched each time Remus exhaled.

On the other side of the room, James was draped over the only armchair, facing the ceiling.

A loud thump echoed through the room and three heads popped up to see the cause of the noise. James had rolled over and promptly fallen off the armchair. Cursing, he dragged himself up off the floor.

"Good one mate." Sirius said groggily as he stretched out on the couch while accidentally kicking Remus in the face.

"Ouch." Remus groaned as he shifted out of his headstand in which he had been sleeping. "I really wanted your smelly foot in my face first thing in the morning Padfoot." He said sarcastically, rubbing the side of his face where Sirius had kicked him.

The five friends had decided to spend Christmas Eve night in the Head Boy and Girl's common room. The room was quite large with a large Christmas tree perched in the corner. An array of brightly wrapped presents lay underneath waiting to be unwrapped.

"Merry Christmas!" Marly said with a yawn, sitting up on the couch. Lily was still fast asleep next to her. A small mutter of 'Merry Christmas' echoed around the room.

"Should we wake her?" James asked Marly curiously, looking at Lily. The three boys were sitting in front of the blazing fire their eyes flicking towards the presents under the Christmas tree every few seconds.

"Lily, wake up! Presents!" Lily was woken to a pillow being thrown in her face by Marly. James winced. That wasn't quite what he had meant when he had asked Marly if they should wake Lily up.

"Thanks for letting me sleep in." Lily grumbled burying her face deep in her pillow.

"Nine o'clock is a sleep in." Marly replied irritably. After the minutes passed by slowly and Lily was making no signs of getting up, Marly threw another pillow at her. "Come on Lil. It's Christmas. Get up!"

Grudgingly, Lily opened her eyes, squinting in the morning sunlight. "Merry Christmas." She said, wrapping her blanket tightly around her.

"Presents!" Sirius exclaimed, his eyes as wide as saucers like a toddler looking at a lolly.

"Hold your horses Padfoot." Remus said. "What about breakfast?" Sirius loved breakfast. But not quite as much as presents.

"Later." Sirius said dismissively as he sat down next to the tree, pulling out the presents from underneath.

The unwrapping of presents took a surprisingly short time. Shreds of coloured paper littered the floor and an array of gifts were sorted into piles.

"Lily, thank you so much!" James exclaimed as he pulled the wrappings off a magnificent and expensive Broomstick Servicing Kit. Beaming, James pulled Lily into a tight hug. Laughing, Lily hugged him back, pleased at his enthusiasm over her present.

Soon only one present remained under the tree. Sirius was happily eating his way through a mound of candy and chocolate. The final, beautifully wrapped present was gently placed in Lily's lap by an awkward looking James. Smiling up at him, Lily began to carefully unwrap the present and James could feel his heart thumping with nerves.

What on earth were you thinking? James cursed himself. He knew he shouldn't have taken Marly's advice so seriously. He knew he should have just gotten her candy or chocolate or something from Zonko's like Sirius and Remus had. But truth be told, James had wanted to get her something different, something just a little bit special.

Truth be told, James had been about to buy Lily an assortment of lollies and chocolate from Honeydukes when he had panicked. What if she thought he only wanted to be friends and never fancied him? He wanted to buy her something a little more meaningful.

Dropping the sweets like a hot potato, James rushed into another shop where he nearly bought Lily something Marly would have deemed 'unsuitable.' In another frantic panic, he changed his mind again. What if Lily thought he was being romantic, freaked out and never spoke to him again?

Platonic kept whizzing through his mind so he'd grabbed something 'platonic' in a last minute rush. Thinking back on what he'd bought Lily as he watched her unwrap it carefully before him, James realised he had failed miserably in buying her a nice present. Too late now.

Lily pulled the last of the paper off to reveal…socks. And a quill. James could feel his face burning and he purposefully avoided looking at Marly.

"Merry Christmas Lily." James said awkwardly, staring at the floor trying to cover his flaming face.

"Umm thanks James." Lily said smiling kindly at him. "I love…er…socks." Picking up the warm pair of blue woollen socks, Lily put them on.

"I'll, er, go get some breakfast." James said as he hurried toward the portrait hole. With a quick "I'll help" Marly left too. Confused, Lily set about cleaning up the shreds of paper.

"Socks?" Marly asked incredulously as soon as here and James had exited the portrait hole. "And a quill? What on earth were you thinking?"

"Well, you told me to keep it platonic, nothing romantic!" James said defensively.

"Well, you got that right. Socks are about as romantic as a brick wall!" Marly said in exasperation.

She had spent much of her valuable time educating James about what to buy for Lily. And after all the wisdom she had shared with him, what had he some up with? Socks! Socks were what she bought her elderly grandfather!

"It's not like you gave me many things I could buy her!" James exclaimed irritably. "You gave me a list long enough to touch the ground from the top of the Astronomy Tower of everything I _couldn't_ buy her but you failed to mention what I _could_ buy her!"

"Argh! You're impossible!" Marly threw her hands up in exasperation. After a minute of silence she continued. "Well, how are you going to make it up to her?" Marly asked.

"What?" James looked surprised. God, how thick were boys? Marly thought in frustration.

"What are you going to do to make it up to her?" Marly repeated slowly as if talking to a mentally challenged troll.

James face fell and he stared at the stone floor while Marly tapped her foot impatiently. Almost instantly, James seemed to have a sudden thought.

"Can you take care of breakfast? I have to run." James yelled behind him as he sprinted away down the empty corridor. Grumbling Marly set off towards the kitchens.

---

Nearly two hours later, after everyone had been enjoyed a magnificent breakfast cooked by the Hogwarts house elves, James returned.

"Where have you been?" Sirius asked accusingly as soon as James stepped through the portrait hole. Shooting him a quick glare and hissing 'nick off' James walked uncomfortably towards Lily. Sirius, Remus and Marly left the room quietly, gathering enough of a hint from James.

"Umm, Lily? Can I talk to you?" James asked her awkwardly, his hands concealing something behind his back. Lily was astounded. She had never seen James Potter as awkward as he had that day.

"I believe you already are."

"Ha, right." With the grace of a mountain troll, James pulled a bunch of beautiful pink orchids from behind his back and held them out for Lily.

"I'm sorry about before." James said earnestly, looking into her sparkling emerald eyes. And before he could stop, James launched into the story of trying to buy her a present and asking advice from Marly. Lily found the whole thing hysterical.

"So, I'm sorry Lily. About the, um, socks. I got you something else to make up for it." James handed Lily a small box tied up neatly with a pink ribbon. Opening it cautiously, Lily's eyes widened.

"Oh James, it's beautiful!" Lily exclaimed as she took out the delicate gold bracelet.

"Here." James said as he gently took the bracelet from her and fastened it on her dainty wrist. The bracelet was simple and elegant and suited Lily perfectly.

"Merry Christmas Lily." James said.

Lily smiled prettily at him and he found himself getting lost in her eyes. It was like one of those moments in books or movies. A heavy silence hung in the air and James felt a thrill run through his body. This was it. Leaning forward slowly, James moved in to kiss her. He was so close he could count the faint freckles on her nose.

Suddenly, Lily threw her arms around him in a warm embrace. James felt his heart sink. What had he been thinking? She only saw him as a friend. Hiding his embarrassment, James hugged her back. Her 'thank you' was muffled against his neck and James felt jolts of electricity run through his body.

"I don't know what to say, James." Lily said, pulling back from the hug. "The bracelet is beautiful and I love the flowers. Much more original than the typical bunch of lilies." She smiled again.

All the boys that had ever given her flowers, not that there had been many of them, had given her lilies because of her name. While lilies were beautiful flowers she didn't necessarily want them just because her name was Lily. Nobody ever bothered to find out her real favourite flower. Except James.

---

A few hours later, Lily, Marly, James, Sirius and Remus were found having a furious snowball fight on the icy grounds.

James was startled out of his daydream of Lily by a large snow ball that hit him hard on the side of his head. Sirius was doubled over with laughter at the shocked expression on James' face and the triumphant look on Lily's.

"I'll get you for that!" Lily broke into a run as James chased after her. Laughing the whole way, he tackled her to the ground and tickled her mercilessly.

"James!" She gasped between giggles. "Stop!"

"That will teach you to mess with me, Lily Evans." James said laughingly while Lily giggled and wriggled beneath him.

Eventually, taking pity on her, James stopped tickling her. Lily's clothes were damp from the wet snow and her chest heaved as she tried to catch her breath. Slowly, James rose to his feet and held out his hand to help Lily up.

Lily watched him carefully out of the corner of her eye as he helped her up. Taking her opportunity when she could, she gathered up another big snowball and threw it at James' face. It landed with a splat against James cheek and the icy snow slipped down his face.

"Lily Evans!" Lily clutched her sides as she laughed. And the whole escapade started all over again while Remus, Marly and Sirius watched in bemusement while James chased a giggling Lily across the grounds.

The afternoon passed quickly and by the time it grew dark outside and their aim became worse, five shivering students abandoned their snowball fight and trudged back up to the warm castle. Christmas dinner was the usual magnificent feast and Lily stared in awe at the fat roast turkeys and platters that covered the tables. It was like nothing she had ever seen before.

Lily got an almighty shock when she pulled a wizard cracker with Marly. The loud blast made her jump in her chair as she was engulfed in a cloud of green smoke. Wearing the pirate hat from the cracker, Lily laughed with her friends as they headed back up to the common room, full and sleepy.

Lying in bed that night, Lily couldn't keep the grin off her face. It had been her best Christmas Day ever. Gently fiddling with the beautiful bracelet on her wrist, Lily drifted into a pleasant sleep. In the morning she wouldn't remember her dream, except that she woke with the brightest smile she could imagine.


	14. What Can't You Say on New Year?

**Thanks to The Librarian's Apprentice, messyblackhair66, Bookybookbook, Blue-elephant1, laxrules18, amanamanam and Suoer Cara for reviewing! OMG, seven reviews for the last chapter, that's the most I've ever had! Thank you so much for all the reviews, I loved reading them! **

**Thanks also to Librarian's Apprentice, Jade Fairy, coldveil and Blue-elephant1 for adding this story as a favourite :-)**

**Lol, and I did try not to have the typical bunch of lilies or a lily necklace! Thanks for noticing!**

**---**

**Ch 14: What Can't You Say on New Year?**

"Lily can you help me with my transfiguration essay?" A frustrated Marly asked as they sat together in the library, surrounded by parchment and textbooks.

"Sure, in a minute." Lily replied distractedly as she scribbled frantically on a piece of parchment. After a few minutes, in which Marly repeatedly sighed impatiently, Lily pushed her own essay away and looked towards Marly.

"Here, what do you need help with?" Lily asked Marly, pulling her essay towards her.

For hours, the two girls sat at the cramped table as they worked through the piles of work the teachers had left them for the holidays. Well, more accurately, Lily worked through all her homework while Marly sat staring out the window or doodling on the corners of Lily's parchment looking bored.

"Lily?" Marly said after a long silence in which only the turning of pages and the scratching of a quill could be heard. "Why do we have to do our homework now?" Marly sounded tired and irritable, and quite honestly Lily felt the same.

"Because, if we don't do it now then we will have to do it all after New Year and for the whole New Year's Eve celebrations we will be constantly thinking about all the homework we have to do and stressing out." Lily replied matter-of-factly.

Marly snorted. "Right. Lily, only _you_ would stress about homework on New Year's Eve. I could quite happily leave all my homework until the last minute and not worry one bit, especially on New Year's."

"Fine. But _I_ want to do it before and I don't want to have to sit in the library by myself so _you_ are keeping me company while I do all my homework. And just because you haven't finished your's, don't even think you can copy mine!" Lily said sternly, looking at Marly's guilty face. Marly had been planning to, well copy wasn't the right word, 'gather inspiration' from Lily's work later on.

Finally, as it neared nightfall, Madame Pince shooed them out of the library.

"That was the most boring afternoon I have ever had!" Marly said grumpily as they headed back up to the common room.

"Well, you could have done something a little more productive than draw stick figures all over my essay." said Lily dryly. "I got almost all my work done. All I have to do now is practice the spells from charms and I'm done." She continued happily while Marly scowled.

---

The evening of New Year's Eve, Lily was sitting by the common room fire talking with Marly. They didn't really have anything planned for tonight and were content with relaxing by the fire.

"Lily, stop stealing my blanket!" Marly said, yanking back the blanket Lily had been slowly pulling over herself, hoping Marly wouldn't notice.

"But I'm cold!" Lily whined. Just then, Lily felt the weight of a soft blanket on her shoulders. Looking up, she found herself looking at James' smiling face.

"Thanks James." Lily said with a grateful smile and snuggling under the warmth of the blanket.

"Anyone for marshmallows?" Sirius and Remus appeared behind James, both holding packets of marshmallows and five long sticks.

"Oh, yes please!" Marly immediately helped herself to a marshmallow and a stick.

Sirius, James and Remus comfortably settled themselves next to the fire and the five of them sat there, happily eating marshmallow after sticky marshmallow. After a short while, the marshmallows ran out and they sat there in silence.

"I'm bored." Sirius complained after he felt the silence had dragged on long enough.

"Me too!" Marly also piped up.

"It's New Year's Eve. We shouldn't be sitting by a fire, we should be out partying!" James said, a smile creeping over his face. Suddenly, Sirius and Remus smiled also as if they were all in on the same joke.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Remus asked, grinning mischievously.

"What?" Marly added impatiently.

"We're going partying!" James exclaimed. His grin faded slightly when neither Lily nor Marly responded. "Come on, you're not going like that are you?" James grinned again and Lily looked down at her old trackies and warm woollen jumper.

"Where are we going?" Marly asked in confusion. She was thrilled about a party, Marly loved parties but James seemed to be missing the small fact that no one was having a party in Hogwarts.

"Go on, go get changed!" Sirius said, ignoring her question as Lily and Marly doubtfully headed towards the girls staircase.

---

"Maybe this wasn't such a great idea." Sirius said as they waited at the bottom of the girls' staircase two hours later. "How long does it take them to get ready?" He added impatiently.

"You know girls mate, they always take ages." James replied.

Meanwhile, up the staircase a minor emergency was taking place.

"Marly, what am I going to wear?" Lily asked worriedly, looking at the huge pile of discarded clothes on her bed.

After a few minutes of rummaging, Marly tossed Lily some clothes from the mound before returning to the mirror to apply her mascara. "Here, wear these."

Finally, the girls emerged from their dormitory.

"About time." Sirius said as he leapt over towards the portrait hole.

Marly looked dazzling in a flattering yellow dress, her perfect curls framing her pretty face. But James barely noticed as his eyes were immediately drawn towards the beautiful red-head that stood behind her. James stood stock still, staring up at the top of the stairs, his mouth hanging open. Above him stood a nervously smiling Lily. Her short denim skirt showed off her toned legs and the emerald green top set off her vivid green eyes. With surprising steadiness (Marly had made her practise for 5 minutes before they came down!), Lily descended the stairs in high gold heels.

"It's rude to stare!" Remus hissed in James' ear while elbowing him in the ribs. Gaining control of himself, James smiled casually.

"Wow Lils, you're almost as tall as me now." James joked. Lily was quite short that even in her heels she was still nearly two inches shorter than him.

"Where are we going?" Marly asked interestedly.

"That's for me to know and you to find out!" Sirius grinned.

"We won't be breaking any rules will we?" Lily asked nervously, looking at Remus for support. When no one answered, Lily looked slightly worried.

"Oh come on Lily." Remus said with mischievous grin. "Live a little. We won't get caught. And I wouldn't do anything too risky."

Mostly reassured, the group of seventh years trooped out of the common room. The Marauders led the girls to a corridor on the forth floor and stopped outside a large elegant looking mirror.

"Wow, raging party!" Marly said sarcastically. Lily trod on her foot with a scowl.

"Give us some time." Sirius muttered, watching as James tapped his wand against the ornate gold frame. Suddenly, the mirror swung open to reveal a roomy passageway.

"Where are we?" Lily asked in awe. She had really underestimated the Marauders.

With James leading the way, the others followed. After what seemed like ages with many grumbles from Marly, they came to a sudden halt. With a soft 'oomph' Lily banged straight into James' back from the sudden stop. His warm strong hands grabbed her instantly to stop her from falling and for some unknown reason Lily felt a slight swooping sensation in her stomach. As he pulled away from her, Lily could feel her skin tingling from his touch. Shaking her head, Lily cast all these strange feelings from her mind.

Like he had back by the mirror, James began tapping at the brick wall in front of him with his wand, muttering spells under his breath. Before her very eyes, Lily saw the wall begin to melt away like the one at the entrance to Diagon Alley.

Lily's eyes widened in surprise as she took in her surroundings. Gentle snowflakes fell from the sky, falling into Lily's long wavy hair. Tiny fairy lights were strung across the quaint little cottages and in the distance Lily could hear the sounds of New Year's Eve celebrations. With a sudden realisation Lily recognised the streets around her.

"Hogsmeade." She breathed, her eyes alight with interest. "How did you know how to get here?" She asked the Marauders in awe.

"A magician never reveals his tricks." Remus replied mildly with a smile. Sirius shot him a strange look, having no idea what a magician was and Remus blushed slightly.

"Follow me." James began to lead the way and Lily's head turned in every direction as they made their way through the quiet streets of Hogsmeade. Before long they came across a small bar, not far from the main street.

Pushing the door open, the five students entered the noisy pub. Fighting their way through the crowd of people they made it to the bar where Sirius ordered them a round of butterbeers. Within minutes, Marly was out dancing with a handsome young wizard. Lily laughed as she watched Marly toss her hair while flirting outrageously with the young wizard who was clearly enjoying her attention. Sirius had also disappeared with a pretty brunette in an extraordinarily short skirt and a tight fitting top.

Chatting companionably with James and Remus, Lily was surprised when she felt a faint tap on her shoulder.

"Wanna dance?" A voice behind her slurred. Turning around, Lily was startled at how close the man's face was. He was clearly very drunk and looked to be in his mid thirties. His eyes were small and bloodshot and his dark blonde hair was as dishevelled as his clothes.

"Come on pretty lady." The man said with a leering grin. His breath stunk of alcohol mixed with tobacco and Lily felt as if she might pass out from the stench.

Shooting James and Remus a scared look behind her, Lily felt unsure of how to act. James, always the hero, rushed to her defence.

"Leave her alone." James said angrily, moving to stand next to Lily and put his arm around her shoulders protectively.

The man waved his hand dismissively. As he turned to leave he said to Lily with a glance in James' direction, "You can do better 'an 'im, a pretty girl like you." Unsteadily, he wobbled off into the crowd.

"Are you okay?" James asked, turning to Lily looking concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little creeped out." Lily replied taking a gulp of her butterbeer.

For the next hour, Lily continued to sit with James and Remus at the bar with brief appearances every now and then from a breathless Marly. Sirius kept himself quite well occupied for the majority of the night and they occasionally caught glances of him amongst the crowd.

"Come on Lil, just try it." Marly urged as Lily stared distastefully at the glass in front of her. "Lily, it's New Years Eve, you have to at least try it."

Caving in, Lily gingerly raised the glass to her lips as James and Remus looked on with mild interest. This was a sight to see. Lily Evans, perfect little Head Girl, sitting in a bar late at night with a cocktail clutched in her hand. Lily had flat out refused to try the firewhiskey but Marly had not given up easily, intent on making her try at least one alcoholic drink. Wrinkling her nose, Lily took a tiny sip of the pink liquid.

"Could you even taste that Lily?" Marly rolled her eyes. "So how was it?"

Lily took another sip as Marly raise her eyebrows is surprise. "It's actually really nice." It tasted like strawberries and Lily took yet another sip as Marly burst into laughter.

"There you go Lily, we can still turn you into a rebel yet." They all laughed again and Marly was asked by what must have been the twentieth guy if she wanted to dance. Lily raised her eyebrows in surprise when Marly refused. He had been quite good looking too.

Lily had been asked to dance a few times but had politely refused each time, to James' relief. While slightly flattered by the attention, Lily felt uncomfortable by the leering grins and suggestive comments some of the men made at her. James looked as if he wanted to punch every guy that as much as looked at Lily, something she herself didn't even notice. Although she did notice that James had also refused every one of the offers to dance he had got, which had been much more than she had.

"Alright Lil, you've been sitting here all night. It's time you moved around a bit." Marly said, taking Lily's hand and trying to drag her onto the dance floor.

"What about James?" Lily asked, glancing at him. He just waved his hand in a 'don't worry about it' fashion, and still protesting half-heartedly, Lily allowed herself to be pulled onto the dance floor.

Dancing wildly with Marly and attracting much of the male attention, Lily felt exhilarated. With a confidence only the alcohol could have produced, Lily laughed and danced with Marly, full of energy. James watched her carefully, unable to tear his eyes away from her. He was so absorbed in watching her he didn't even notice Remus come up next to him.

"Daydreaming again Prongs?" He asked mildly.

Looking up, James felt wretched. Noticing his expression, Remus sat down next to his friend looking concerned.

"I don't know what to do Moony." James said miserably. "I think, I think I'm in love with her." Remus didn't need to ask who 'her' was. There was only one 'her' that James thought about, daydreamed about, fantasised about. Remus nodded, looking sympathetic but not surprised.

"You have to tell her." He said simply.

"What?" Asked James aghast. "I can't do that. After all, I know she doesn't feel the same. We're just _friends_." James spat the word out like a curse, which in a way, it was.

"Prongs, if you love her as much as I think you do, she has to know. And if you can't say if at New Year, when can you say it?" Remus said reasonably. James looked surprised at Remus' words but continued to stare at his hands miserably. Lily had been eaten up by the crowd and was no longer visible. The loud chime of clock indicated that it was close to midnight. Excited faces turned to look at the giant clock on the wall, watching as it counted down the minutes and seconds until the New Year.

---

A breathless Lily stood amongst the excited crowd, looking around for Marly who had somehow disappeared into the mass of people. Continued to search for Marly, Lily was interrupted by a voice behind her.

"Hey." Turning around, a handsome man around 20 stood behind her, smiling nicely. "Can I buy you a drink?" Somehow Lily had made her way to the other side of the bar. Looking curiously over to the other side, Lily could no longer see James.

Opening her mouth to politely refuse, the man cut across her. "Before you say no like you have to every other guy who has asked you tonight," Lily blushed embarrassedly, "I just want to get to know you. Nothing more." He looked sincere and Lily couldn't help smiling.

"Well in that case, I would love one of those." Lily said with a smile, pointing to the cocktail Marly had ordered her earlier.

The man grinned and turned to the bar, ordering a firewhiskey for himself. "Daniel Marks." He said, turning back to her and holding out his hand.

"The Daniel Marks?" She asked in surprise, shaking his hand. "Ravenclaw prefect and Quidditch Captain?"

"The one and only." Daniel said with a grin.

"Lily Evans." Lily remembered him from Hogwarts. He had graduated three years earlier.

They discussed Hogwarts, quidditch and Lily found Daniel's company quite enjoyable. He was very funny not to mention extremely handsome. They were both so absorbed in their conversation that neither noticed the crowd grow quiet. Soon the crowd began to chant the count down and Lily and Daniel rose from their seats to stand amongst the crowd. Still chattering and laughing they listened to the chanting as the New Year grew closer.

"Ten"

James had been looking for Lily and couldn't find her anywhere. Marly was talking to some guy in the corner and Lily was nowhere to be seen.

"Nine"

Pushing his way through the crowd, James knew he had to find Lily. Thinking about what Remus had said, he knew he was right. He had to tell her.

"Eight"

Lily was standing holding a cocktail when James spotted her through the crowd. Her bright hair stood out amongst the swarm of people as James made his way towards her.

"Seven"

"Lily!" Turning around, Lily spotted James in the crowd waving at her. She motioned for him to come over which he complied.

"Six"

Excited murmurs could be heard through the bar as James fought his way through unmoving people.

"Five"

Finally reaching her, James felt his resolution waver. She would reject him, he just knew it. But he had to try didn't he? He had to tell her that he loved her.

"Four"

"Lily, I have to tell you something!" James shouted through the music that had been turned up to full blast and the shouts and screams from the crowd. Lily looked at him curiously.

"Three"

"I can't hear you James!" She yelled back, waving about to indicate that she couldn't hear. James attempted to move closer to her so that he was standing barely a foot away from her.

"Two"

"Lily. I –" James stuttered as he looked straight into her eyes.

"One"

"I love you."

**---**

**Sorry, bit of a cliff hanger there! So, James has finally had the courage to tell Lily, but how will she react?**


	15. Stupid Ideas

**Thanks to Bookybookbook, laxrules18, messyblackhair66, siriusbrillantbrunette, american nymphadora, BeccaBex and Super Cara for reviewing! Thanks also to sakuracat14 for adding this story as a favourite.**

**I'm really sorry about the cliff hanger on the last chapter. I felt bad about leaving you hanging there so I updated as soon as possible. Hopefully this chapter meets the expectations! Unfortunately, poor James has a bit more heartbreak to come but I promise it won't be too much more!**

**And yes, I'm sure Lily would be freezing in a mini skirt in an English winter…but how often has that stopped anyone? Lol. And as for Marly's love life…you'll have to wait and see ;-)**

---

**Ch 15: Stupid Ideas**

"I love you"

James looked directly at Lily as the crowd roared in excitement. Lily looked stunned and James felt his nerves kick in with a vengeance.

"Happy New Year." A voice boomed through the pub, greeted with cheers and screams.

James looked at Lily with bated breath, waiting for her to respond. His hands were sweaty and he felt claustrophobic amongst the sea of closely packed people. Maybe he shouldn't have told her.

The noise died down slightly and Lily moved so she could talk to James. James felt tingles where he could feel her breath on his neck as she leaned into him.

"What did you say?" James felt his heart sink.

She hadn't even heard him. His words had been drowned out by the noise of the crowd. He didn't know if he could go through all that again. He felt drained from all the energy he had put into telling her. Telling her that hardest thing he had ever had to say to anyone. The thing he had never felt or told to any other girl. Telling her what had cost him every ounce of energy to say to her that she hadn't even heard.

"What did you want to say to me before?" Lily repeated.

Finding his voice, James managed, "Nothing. Nothing. It doesn't matter."

Lily looked concernedly at him. He looked pale and miserable. "Sure?"

"Sure." He confirmed, mustering a small smile. Suddenly, he noticed the man standing next to Lily, his hand on her shoulder. He was standing close to her, too close James thought.

"I see you're busy anyway." James added bitterly, the words spilling from his mouth before he could stop them. And with that he turned and walked away. He felt as if she had ripped his heart from his chest, thrown it to the ground and stomped all over it. And the worst thing was, she didn't even know it.

Her face had looked shocked and hurt at his nasty comment and he felt a horrible kind of satisfaction. Maybe she would understand how much pain and torture she had put him through. Maybe she would feel a fraction of the hurt he was feeling now.

---

"Sorry about that." Lily said, turning back to Daniel. She smiled slightly but her mind was still mulling over what James had just said to her. Where had the sudden nastiness come from? What had she done?

Daniel waved away her apology. "Was that guy your boyfriend?"

"What?" Lily was surprised at his question. "No, of course not. He's just one of my friends."

Daniel looked slightly disbelieving. "He never was?"

"Good God no!"

Daniel nodded but he still didn't look convinced. "Well, just in case you haven't noticed, I don't think that's how he sees it."

"What?" Lily was genuinely confused. What was wrong with everybody? First James had snapped at her for no reason and now Daniel was going all weird on her too. And that was the second person to insinuate that she and James were more than friends. It was ridiculous!

"He likes you. Loves you even." Seeing Lily shocked expression, Daniel looked at her curiously. "You really have no idea?"

"Well, I know he _used_ to like me. But it was just a silly crush. He got over it. We're just friends now." Lily said firmly, hoping that was all it was.

Daniel shook his handsome head. "Listen to me Lily. I've been watching you all night. Don't worry, I'm not a stalker or anything." He added hastily. Lily laughed.

"The way he watches you, the way he gets angry and jealous every time he sees you talking to another guy. Like me. He loves you." Lily had no idea how to respond to what Daniel had just told her. A crush? Yeah. But love? That was a whole other thing.

"Are you sure?" Lily asked Daniel faintly.

"Positive. I've seen that look too many times to misread it." He looked sad and Lily felt sorry for him. Had he been just like he was telling her James was, hopelessly in love with a girl who didn't return his feelings?

"You're a nice girl Lily. Think about what I said. About that guy, whatever his name is. Take care." With a light peck on her cheek, Daniel turned and left just like James had only minutes before. And Lily was left standing there, more confused than ever. So, for lack of anything else to do, Lily downed the rest of her drink and headed into the sea of people.

---

"Are you okay Lily?" Marly asked, looking at her friend worriedly. The five of them were huddled together outside the pub. It was nearly two in the morning and they knew they should get back to the school.

"I'm fine." Lily said breezily, looking far from it as she collapsed into another fit of giggles. Lily had spent the last hour dancing wildly and she still had energy to burn.

"Do you think maybe I shouldn't have made her try those cocktails?" Marly asked the others, looking slightly guilty. Lily had definitely consumed more than her fair share of alcohol for the evening.

"Let's get her back to the castle." James said as he took Lily's arm to support her. He felt bad for what he had said to her earlier. After all, it wasn't her fault if she didn't love him. But it sure didn't make the pain go away.

The return to the castle was interesting, what with a slightly drunk Lily who collapsed into fits of giggles at everything, to Marly who wobbled along rather comically, clutching her heels in her hand and complaining loudly about how much her feet hurt.

When they eventually reached the common room, Lily's head had dropped onto James' shoulder and her eyes drooped tiredly.

"Let's get her to bed." Marly whispered to James who was still supporting Lily.

Leading Lily towards the foot of the stairs, James stopped suddenly. "Can't go up there." James mumbled.

"I can't get her up all those stairs by myself!" Marly exclaimed looking anxious.

"I'm fine." Lily said with a casual wave of her hand as she detached herself from James. She rested her foot on the first stair and stopped, grabbing the handrails.

"Uh oh, don't feel good." Lily swayed slightly, looking unsteady. Being the only one that could, Marly rushed to Lily's side to support her.

"Look Marly!" Lily said, a grin spreading across her face. "They're spinning. Look, there. You're spinning too." Lily began giggling hysterically while Marly shot James a worried glance.

"That's right Lily." Marly said with false enthusiasm, as if talking to a toddler as she gently guided Lily back down the stairs. There was no way she could get Lily up the flight of stairs in the state she was in.

Once lying safely on the couch, Lily yawned widely. Marly had retreated upstairs, tired and sore, as had Sirius and Remus. Left alone with Lily, James pulled a blanket over her, tucking it in around her gently.

"How are you feeling Lily?" James asked her softly kneeling down beside her, her giggling having subsided somewhat.

"Thanks James." She whispered. Then she did the last thing James had expected. Sitting up slightly, Lily leaned over and placed the lightest kiss on his cheek. Letting her head fall back on the soft cushion, her eyes closed and a small innocent smile on her lips. "I'm sorry for making you sad."

And with that, Lily drifted into an easy sleep. Sitting beside her and gently stroking her soft hair, James watched her until he too could no longer fight tiredness.

---

Lily awoke with a splitting headache. Groaning loudly, Lily untangled herself from the blanket wrapped around her.

Where am I? She thought in alarm, sitting up quickly and instantly regretting her actions. Her head pounded painfully and white light covered her vision for a few seconds. After it passed, Lily recognised the scarlet adorned room. She had spent the night on the couch in the Gryffindor common room.

The creaking stairs caused Lily to look up and a dishevelled looking Marly walked towards her.

"What a night, huh?" Marly sat down next to a sheepishly smiling Lily. "How are you feeling?"

"Like hell. My head feels like it's been beaten repeatedly with a club. I didn't do anything too stupid did I?" Marly didn't even need to answer that one. Memories from the previous came flooding back and Lily grimaced in humiliation. Dancing madly with the crowd. Singing off key, loudly to the blaring music. Giggling and pointing at every ordinary thing around her. Kissing James.

Lily buried her head in her hands. What had she done? Sure it was an innocent kiss on the cheek, but after what Daniel had said, the last thing Lily wanted to do was to mislead James if he really did feel that way about her. If her really did…love her.

"Hey, it's okay." Marly patted Lily's shoulder reassuringly.

Later that afternoon, the five students were sitting by the common room fire toasting marshmallows.

"How did you survive your first ever hang over?" Sirius grinned at Lily as he pulled his toasted marshmallow off the end of his stick and popping it into his mouth.

Lily grimaced causing Sirius to laugh. "Never again. I am never going within a mile of alcohol ever again." She said with conviction.

"That's what they all say in the beginning." Sirius said with a knowing smile. Lily just shook her head.

An hour later, deprived of anything else to do, they decided to attempt some of their mountain of homework. Lily, who had done most of hers earlier, was practising spells in the corner. Marly was doing everything possible to distract herself from actually doing her work. Remus was deeply absorbed in his potions essay and Sirius, who was sitting in the seat beside him, was casually glancing at his work whenever Remus wasn't looking and quickly jotting down notes when Remus gave him suspicious looks. James was cursing as his charm failed for the eighth consecutive time.

"Stupid spell." He muttered angrily under his breath. Remus shot him an annoyed look for disturbing his essay. With delight, Sirius used this opportunity to copy down a paragraph of Remus' essay.

James rarely had trouble with spells except when Lily Evans was around and today was no different. He couldn't concentrate on a single thing. When he wasn't staring pathetically at her he was thinking about last night. She'd kissed him on the cheek, and while it wasn't much, James replayed that moment over and over in his mind. Maybe she did think of him as more than a friend? Maybe he should pluck up the courage to tell her that he was in love with her again?

Suddenly, James was struck with a fool-proof idea. Lily was top student and good at everything right? So it couldn't hurt to ask her for a little extra help. And Lily being the kind, sweet, generous person that she was wouldn't refuse. With all that extra time together, she was bound to realise that he was the perfect guy for her and fall madly in love with him. It was perfect.

Filled with a new found hope, James approached Lily, a winning smile plastered on his face.

---

"You're doing the wand movements wrong." Lily said patiently as she and James sat in the common room later that night.

Taking her own wand, Lily demonstrated the spell while James watched. "Now try again." She instructed.

Moving his hand in the same way Lily had, James watched in horror as an armchair burst into flames.

"Never mind, never mind." Lily said quickly as she put out the flames with a fountain of water from the end of her own wand. "You're jabbing too hard at the end. Your movements need to be gentle." She said turning back to James.

Placing her hand over his, Lily gently guided his hand in the correct movement. Her hand was warm and soft and James felt his heart thud painfully in his chest. He could feel the heat from her body and smell the fruity aroma of her shampoo.

Saying the incantation as Lily's hand guided his, James beamed as he succeeding in casting the spell correctly.

"Well done James." Lily said with a smile in her voice. But still she didn't move her hand from his. For a minute James savoured her closeness when all too abruptly she moved away.

"Right, well, try by yourself now." Lily's cheeks were flaming and she looked flustered.

Nodding, James tried the spell again wishing Lily's hand was still on his. For the second time, he cast the spell correctly.

"Well done James. I think you've got it now." Lily smiled at him, her cheeks still flushed. She couldn't understand why she was embarrassed and awkward all of a sudden. All she knew was that she needed to get away from James as soon as possible.

"Well, good night." She said, turning her back on him.

She heard James call out a thank you but she didn't turn around. Instead she continued up the stairs and flopped onto her bed when she reached the seventh year girls' dormitory.

What was all that about? Lily thought to herself. Why had she got so flustered around James? It was all Daniel's fault. Why had she let him put all these stupid ideas in her head? She thought angrily. James didn't love her. James was her friend, that's all.

Pulling out a book, Lily settled herself down comfortably on her bed. She could read about someone else's problems and maybe it would distract her from her own.

Everyone knew Lily read a lot but they all assumed that she read highly difficult, intellectual books. However, Lily had a strange addiction to romance novels. While she had no love life herself (as yet) she loved reading of others'.

A true romantic at heart, Lily used to hope that one day she would be swept off her feet by a handsome, smart, funny, kind, honest guy, fall in love and live happily ever after. It was corny, (which was why she never told anyone, even Marly) but true. Unfortunately, as Lily was beginning to understand, life wasn't quite that simple. Things could get messy and in real life, everything wasn't resolved by the last page.

Lily always assumed that she would fall in love sometime in the future, after she finished school and she was shocked to find that it crept up on her far sooner than she imagined, or was prepared for.


	16. So Close Yet So Far

**Thanks to anonymous, ****szabatka2****, american nymphadora, BeccaBex, messyblackhair66, Super Cara and Bookybookbook for reviewing. I've passed 50 reviews! Wow! Another thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story at any point! Other thanks to AliP, AllyCat-Dolphinlover, h4g and szabatka2 for adding this story as a favourite.**

**It's going to happen soon…very _very_ soon, don't worry and please hang in there :-)**

---

**Ch 16: So Close Yet So Far**

The new term begun and the students returned from their holidays. Wormtail rejoined the Marauders, anxious to be filled in on everything they had done without him.

With the beginning of the new term, quidditch practice recommenced. James was kept constantly busy with numerous practices, Head duties and the mountain of work the teachers piled on the seventh year students.

Lily had graciously and patiently worked with James on his charms whenever their busy timetables allowed. Unfortunately for James, that wasn't very often.

"You're doing really well with all these charms now." Lily said brightly one evening as she and James sat in the common room.

James was bitterly disappointed that his plan didn't seem to be working very well and he was quickly growing impatient. Lily did not appear to be falling madly in love with him as he had hoped, nor had there been any repeats of their first session.

"It's not working. It's been _weeks_ and nothing has happened." James said bitterly to Remus, three weeks into the new term as they sat in the Great Hall for dinner. He had filled Remus in on his plan and whinged regularly at the lack of progress.

"Prongs," Remus said wearily, "be patient. You can't make someone fall in love with you."

James looked sullen and didn't reply. Remus had been sympathetic in the beginning but was very quickly growing tired of James' constant moans.

At that moment, Sirius sidled up and sat himself next to James, loading his plate up with food.

"We've got a pranks night tonight." Sirius informed James eagerly with a mouthful of mash potato.

"Sorry, no can do. I've got rounds with Lily."

Sirius looked unfazed and gave a careless shrug. "So? Tell her you're sick."

"I can't, she knows I'm not sick."

"Fine. Make something up." A strange expression crossed Sirius' face as he spoke.

"I'm Head Boy, I have responsibility."

Sirius scowled. What is this bullshit? He thought. Since when did James care about responsibility?

"We'll do it tomorrow then." Sirius said huffily.

"I've got charms practice with Lily."

Sirius was getting really pissed off now. "Whatever." Getting up quickly, Sirius stomped out of the Great Hall, like that last day of term. James stared after him before shrugging and returning to his dinner. Sirius was just in one of his moods again, he'd get over it.

Later, as James climbed the stairs to his dormitory he heard angry voices. Curious, James stood back, listening intently.

"What's his problem anyway? He's turned into a right prat!" Sirius stormed loudly.

"He's just busy. It's not the end of the world." Remus' reasonable voice said.

"That's not the point! He can't just ditch his friends for some girl." Sirius sounded really mad. What? Wormtail and a _girl_? When did this happen? James pondered in disbelief.

"He's got Head duties Padfoot. And Lily just happens to be Head Girl." Wait, what was that? James felt anger boil inside him. Sirius, that stupid git, was talking about him!

"Yeah? Well what about his precious little charms practice with precious little Evans?" If James hadn't been hiding and listening to the conversation he was sure he would have punched Sirius.

"Lily isn't just some girl. Maybe James loves her?" Remus did not just say that! Hasn't anyone heard about secrets around here? James fumed.

Sirius scoffed. "He's wasting his time with her. She'll never go out with him. I don't see why he's still bothering with her." James was furious.

"Sirius –"

"This is all Evans' fault! James was fine before he became friends with her."

"Since when did you dislike Lily?" Remus asked in surprise.

"Since she started messing with James' head! Since James became too busy for his friends and chose to hang out with _her_ instead! Since he become boring to try and show off to _her_! Since James turned into a prat all because of _her_!"

James couldn't listen anymore, he was boiling with rage. His hands were balled into tight fists and his breathing was heavy. He had to leave before he had the overwhelming urge to run in their and punch Sirius hard.

---

The next night James was sitting in the library with Lily as the common room was too crowded. James hated the library and went in there as seldom as possible but since Sirius was in the common room James was happy to be in the library. He still hadn't spoken to Sirius since he had overheard his conversation with Remus.

Lily had patiently helped James with all the charms they were studying so instead they were working on their potions essays.

"Excuse me, Lily?" A sixth year boy approached their table and James looked up with a scowl.

"Oh, hey Brian." Lily smiled kindly at him.

"Hi. I was just wondering if you would mind helping me with my potions? Everyone says you're the best student in the school!" He gave Lily what he must have thought was a charming, winning smile. Oh my God, thought James. The little twerp is trying to flirt with her! He fancies her.

"Oh, thank you Brian. Of course I'd be happy to help you. When?" Lily was too nice for her own good, James thought.

"Well, now if you're not busy?"

Lily was about to answer when James cut across her. "Well, she is busy. Or are you blind?" James said rudely, glaring at the sixth year.

Lily shot James an angry look. "Sorry Brian. Maybe another time. Tomorrow?" She smiled apologetically at him.

"Sure. See you then." With that, Brian left and grin plastered to his face.

"What was that about? Why were you so rude to him?" Lily hissed angrily at James as soon as Brian was out of ear shot.

James shrugged carelessly. "The little twerp was flirting with you."

"He was not!" Lily exclaimed but blushing slightly at the same time. "And even if he was, what would it matter?" Lily shot back at James.

James looked surprised at how annoyed she looked. "Because. He's a slimy little git. But I guess that's just your type." James said nastily.

Lily eyes narrowed to slits and she looked furious. "What is that supposed to mean?" The anger in her voice was enough to stop James in his tracks.

"I think you know what I mean."

"No, I don't. Why don't you enlighten me?"

"Does that other slimy creep on New Year ring any bells?"

"What? He was hardly a creep! He was really nice and I was just talking to him." Lily's voice was rising in anger and the other students were looking over in interest.

"Well, talking wasn't what he had in mind." James sneered.

"You are unbelievable!" Lily fumed. "And so what? What's it to you anyway? You're just a _friend_, not that you're even acting like it now!" Lily was seething and she wanted to hurt James in any way she could. She could tell her words had cut him but he was trying not to show it.

"You know what? Fine! I don't care anymore Lily!" James was furious now too. Sirius and Remus' words were flashing across his mind. '_She'll never go out with him!' 'She's not worth it.' 'You can't make someone fall in love with you.'_

"I give up! You're right, we can't be friends. You said it yourself and you're right!" Lily's eyes widened in shock as James words lashed out at her.

"I love you Lily." James looked straight into her shocked emerald eyes. "But I'm nothing more than a friend to you, am I?"

"Every time I'm with you I want more than friendship. It takes every ounce of control I possess to stop myself kissing you and I can't do it any longer. If all I'm ever going to be is your friend then I don't want that. I've tried and tried to forget about my feelings for you but I can't. Friendship isn't enough for me and it never will be. So it's better if we just have nothing." James couldn't look at her anymore.

Lily felt numb. Her eyes filled with tears but she wasn't going to let James see. She wouldn't let him know how much he had hurt her. "So that's it then, is it?" It took all her control to stop her voice from shaking.

"I guess it is." He looked down and felt his eyes lock to hers. He couldn't pull them away. He could see her face fighting to keep her tears in.

"Fine." She pulled her eyes away, grabbed her books and walked away. As soon as she rounded the corner she broke into a run, desperate to be far away from him before she would allow her tears to fall.

Lily ran until she reached a familiar looking portrait hole, barely pausing to give the password. When she got into the room she collapsed onto the couch. She couldn't go to the Gryffindor common room. She had more pride than to allow the whole of Gryffindor house a view of her tear stained cheeks so she went to the next best place, the Head's common room.

There she could be alone where she wouldn't have to answer questions from her friends. Where she wouldn't hear the whispers of students about her tear stricken face and puffy eyes.

---

Some time around midnight Lily woke with a start. The candles around the room had been lit and a fire crackled merrily in the fireplace. Lily couldn't even remember falling asleep. Her stomach gave a loud grumble reminding her that she had missed dinner.

With a long sigh, Lily dragged her tired body from the couch. Wearily, she made her way up to her dormitory in a daze, falling onto her warm bed as soon as she reached it.

"Lily?" A voice whispered from somewhere to her right. "Lily, is that you?" Clara was whispering from her bed.

"Yeah." Lily whispered back, crossing her fingers and hoping not to wake the others.

"Where have you been?" Marly whispered furiously. Have they been waiting up for me? Lily thought in surprise. Her question was answered almost instantly.

"We've been waiting up for you." Natalie waved her wand and the candles all glowed. Lily could now see her friends all sitting up interestedly in their beds.

"Sorry to keep you up." Lily said apologetically. Marly waved her arm disinterestedly.

"We don't care about that. Where have you been? What happened?" Marly couldn't keep the curiosity out of her voice.

"Oh, I was in the Head's common room. James and I had a fight and I didn't want to come back here and risk seeing him." Lily said hoping to avoid more questions but unfortunately her words only sparked more curiosity.

"What was the fight about?" Clara asked interestedly.

"Oh, it was nothing." Lily said offhandedly.

"Don't give me that." Natalie said sharply. "We saw James stomp into the common room in a foul mood and we overheard the Marauders muttering about something."

Lily desperately wanted to go to sleep and did not appreciate this badgering session in the slightest. "Look, he just said he didn't want to be friends anymore because…because he loves me and I don't feel the same." Lily said the last bit in a rush and was glad of the dim candles as they hid her flaming cheeks.

"He what?" Marly shouted. Lily shushed her fervently.

"Oh my God, that is so romantic." Clara said wistfully and Lily couldn't help but think, what planet is she on? Romantic? Hardly.

"That arrogant selfish backstabbing jerk!" Natalie cried, outraged on her friends behalf. "How dare he? You're better off without him, Lil."

"Thanks guys, can I go to sleep now?" After much pestering, a few more questions and much debating, they were finally satisfied with her story and Lily was allowed to go to sleep. Exhausted, Lily was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

---

The following day was hell for Lily. She felt miserable and couldn't concentrate during class. All she wanted to do was bury her head under her pillow and sleep for a thousand years but instead had to force herself to listen to her professors, mix potions, cast spells and take notes.

James' day was probably even worse than Lily's. He felt terribly guilty for hurting Lily and was overwhelmed with his own self pity. He had thought that not being friends with her would be easier, without the constant reminder of what he couldn't have, but in fact it was harder. He missed their friendship and he missed her.

James would have done anything to turn back the clock but as his friends had repeatedly told him, he'd already made a complete arse of himself and there was nothing he could do about it now. Sure, he could apologize but Lily would of course turn him away. He would probably be lucky to escape without being slapped.

"You did what?" Remus had exploded when James had grudgingly told him.

James mumbled something incoherent in return.

"Prongs, you've just lost the girl you love."

"I know." James looked awful and Remus forgot his anger at his friend's incompetence for a minute and was instead filled with sympathy for him.

After a long silence, James looked up at Remus, despair and determination etched into his handsome features. "Moony, what am I going to do to win her back?"

---

Their evening rounds were worse than they had been when she had hated him, which was saying something. Instead of doing them together, they patrolled the school on their own, barely two words spoken between them.

When nearly two weeks had passed since the 'library incident' as it was now referred to as, Marly was sick to death of Lily's sulking.

"Okay Lily, snap out of it. You've been sulking for ages. Either tell me what's bothering you or move on." Marly snapped one afternoon.

Lily was silent for a moment. "I don't know what to think anymore. First it was easy, I hated him, I never wanted to see him again. Now, I'm not so sure anymore." She looked at her hands.

Then it all started pouring out and Lily was helpless to stop it. She told Marly all about how much she had grown to depend on their friendship, how miserable she was without him, Daniel's revelation about James being in love with her, the incident during charms practice and those weird times when she suddenly felt her pulse quicken, her face grow hot, how awkward and flustered she got, how she couldn't look him in the eye and that strange swooping sensation in the pit of her stomach.

"Lily, please tell me you didn't ask me to solve this for you?" Marly rolled her eyes dramatically. When Lily continued to look blankly at her, Marly took a deep breath. "You're in love with James."

"What?" Lily exploded. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"

"Well, maybe love is too strong a word." Marly backtracked. "But you definitely fancy him."

"We are just friends." Lily said, shaking her head furiously. "_Were _friends." She corrected.

Marly looked at her sympathetically. "Do you really believe that Lily? Are you telling me that you haven't once thought about what it would be like to kiss him?"

Lily stayed silent, looking at her hands while a deep blush crept up on her face. Maybe Marly was right. Love was definitely out of the question, but did she fancy James Potter? Not even Lily herself could deny that he was incredibly handsome, funny, sweet, caring…oh God! Lily thought with horror. She did fancy him!

"See!" Marly yelled triumphantly. "You do like him!"

"What am I going to do? He hates me now." Lily's face was full of misery and Marly wrapped a comforting arm around her best friend.

"You can't fall out of love that easily. He's miserable without you Lily. For the past few days he's been roaming the castle like a zombie, he's looked even worse than you."

"Lily, be brave. Tell him. What's the worst that can happen?"

Lily knew Marly was right. Things couldn't get any worse than they already were. But did she have that Gryffindor courage to tell him?


	17. Fears, Confusion, Advice and Truth

**Thanks to Annie, Miss-Mischief-6, american nymphadora, Bookybookbook and amanamanam for reviewing! Also thanks to DianeA. and Michela.77 for adding this story as a favourite :-)**

**I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I seem to have come up with all the new ideas, just none of them for this story! Lol, I've started about 4 different one-shots (one of which I've posted which is the only one that is actually finished) and I've started another two longer stories. Whether any of them ever make it on this website is a whole other matter.**

**Anyway, this chapter is the longest one I've written. I was going to make it two chapters but decided to just leave it as one long chapter. I'll stop babbling now and just let you read the story. :-)**

**---**

**Ch 17: Fears, Confusion, Advice and Truth**

"Lily, you can't avoid him forever you know." Marly said sternly as she and Lily walked back up to the castle from herbology.

"Not forever, just until we leave school and I never have to see him again." Lily had done a complete turn around since her discussion with Marly. "And anyway, I'm over him. I don't think I ever fancied him. I was just confused from everyone saying that he was in love with me and tricked myself into thinking I liked him." Lily said much more confidently than she felt.

Marly rolled her eyes. Lily was just scared and trying to make an excuse not to tell him. Lily had never really felt this way about a guy before and it frightened and confused her.

As they walked through the corridors up to the Gryffindor common room before dinner, Lily spotted someone in the corner of her eye. Turning around, Lily recognised the figure as none other than James Potter talking to a sixth year girl.

Stopping still and nearly causing Marly to fall over, Lily stared as the girl flirted outrageously with James who was flirting right back. Lily felt a pang in her chest that she couldn't identify. Was it disappointment? Anger? Hurt?

All of Lily's feelings that she had only recently discovered and had been desperately trying to forget ever since came rushing back with a thud. Lily had been sure that her feelings were only a result of confusion and meant nothing. They were simply a faze, or better yet, a figment of her imagination. Now, however, Lily knew she had been wrong.

"Yeah, you're so over him Lily." Marly said sarcastically startling Lily out of her staring. The look on Lily's face however made her regret her words.

Lily watched in dismay as the girl leant forward and kissed James quickly on the lips. Far from pushing her away like Lily had hoped he would, James smiled charmingly at her as she pulled away. Lily suddenly felt sick to the pit of her stomach and felt her face grow hot as her eyes locked with James'. His eyes were defiant as he stared back at her across the corridor.

"Oh, Lil. It's okay. I'm sure it meant nothing" Marly said sympathetically as she looked at Lily's pained face. She knew how hard it was for Lily to admit to her feelings and it didn't take a genius to see how much it pained her to have it thrown back in her face.

"Doesn't matter." Lily's voice was hard and gave away no emotion as she turned abruptly away from James and walked quickly down the corridor away from him. Marly had to run to catch up with her.

---

Lily sat in an inconspicuous corner of the common room. She needed to be alone. She needed time to sort out her thoughts while a thousand emotions ran through her. James had hurt her badly but what made it worse was that Lily had fallen for everything she had vowed against. She had fallen for the popular, handsome Marauder just like every other girl had and she had been hurt the same way.

Lily felt used and betrayed but worst of all she felt ashamed. Ashamed of herself for falling for James. Ashamed for thinking that she might have been different from every other girl James had asked out. For thinking that she might have had a chance with him.

James had been the first guy Lily had ever fallen for, and the first one to hurt her. She knew now that she could never tell him how she felt. She had lost her chance long ago if she had ever even had one.

James watched her silently as a lone tear trailed down her face. He knew that her sadness was caused by him. The image of her as she made a mad dash away from him after witnessing him with another girl filled him with anger at his own stupidity. The look of hurt in her eyes was etched into his mind and guilt and regret poured through him. Bad had gone to worse, a feat James hadn't thought possible.

"Lily." James' voice echoed around the small and near deserted room.

Refusing to look up, Lily ignored James, hoping he would go away. Unfortunately, she wasn't so lucky. James reached out to take her hand but she jerked away from his touch.

"Go away Potter." It was the use of his last name more than anything that shocked James. It felt like an eternity ago when she had spat out this same sentence with venom. Now however, the words lacked their past hatred and her voice wobbled ever so slightly.

"Lily, what's wrong?" James asked softly. Lily felt her heart melt at his caressing tone but was determined not to show it. Maybe he did care. Maybe he really had meant what he had said in the library. But Lily wasn't about to risk being hurt again, just for a maybe.

"Just leave me alone." Lily stood up quickly but James hand flew out and grasped her wrist to prevent her departure. Lily felt a familiar swooping sensation in her stomach and struggled to keep control of her emotions.

"Lily," James said seriously. "I'm sorry. I should never have said all those things to you and I wish I could take them all back. But I can't, all I can do is apologise and hope you'll accept my apology."

"Nice sentiments Potter." Lily said scathingly. "But if you think I'm going to believe that you've changed, you've got another think coming."

"I have changed!" James protested, not for the first time. "Lily, you know me, you know that I've changed, you must." James said desperately.

"Oh, and flirting with and kissing random girls in the corridors is part of the new and reformed James is it?" Said Lily scornfully. James at least had the decency to look embarrassed and guilty. "Not that I care or anything." Lily added quickly, a little too quickly.

"How do you know that she was just a random?" Challenged James. "How do you know that I don't care about her?"

He instantly wished he could eat his words. He had been trying to prove that he had changed and wasn't just using that girl, but his words came out sounding like he fancied her. Which wasn't exactly what he had been aiming for Lily to think when he was trying to prove that he loved her.

"Because, either way you're a jerk." Lily replied hotly. "If you like her then you can't possibly love me like you proclaimed to, which means that you are just a liar. And if you do love me, then you can't possibly like her and are therefore just using her, which means you are still a jerk." Lily blushed and James looked stumped.

She was right, there was no way he could get out of this one without still being called a jerk. Which was worse? James contemplated quickly in his head. Being a jerk for lying to Lily or being a jerk for using a girl? Or should he just tell her the truth?

"Look Lily, you're right. I don't have an excuse for what I did. It was just a kiss and it didn't mean anything. I know I should have just pushed her away because I am in love with you, it took me enough courage to tell you so I'm hardly lying about it. And as much as I wish I had, I didn't push her away. I was angry at myself and upset and feeling just plain lousy. You'd just rejected me and it kind of felt nice to feel like at least someone wanted me, even if it wasn't the girl I wanted." James said hopelessly.

"And that makes it okay does it?" Lily retorted. "By saying your sorry, everything is okay again is it?"

"No it doesn't. What I did, either of the things I did, aren't okay. But as much as I wish I could, I can't turn back the clock. I was a jerk and I don't deserve your forgiveness but I'm begging for it anyway." His eyes were pleading with her and Lily felt herself soften. He sounded so sincere, so dejected and hopeless. And really, he could have almost any girl in Hogwarts, so if he didn't really like her, love her even, why would he be wasting his time trying to reason with her?

Lily felt her throat constrict. She didn't trust herself to open her mouth so she nodded. James' serious face broke into a bright grin.

"Friends?" He asked. Ultimately, friendship wasn't what he wanted but their time apart had made him realise that he would rather be friends with Lily than nothing.

Lily smiled in return and opened her mouth to say yes when something stopped her. Marly's voice was ringing in her ears. _Tell him. What have you got to lose?_ Everyone was at dinner and the common room was empty (apart from them). It was now or never.

"No," Lily heard herself saying. "I don't want to be friends." And with that she reached up and pressed her lips softly to his. The kiss held a thousand meanings, forgiveness, courage, fear but most of all it was a question. A question that James quickly answered by kissing her firmly back. The kiss was short and sweet but still left Lily's head reeling when she pulled away.

"Oh." Lily blushed crimson as she noticed the gathering of students by the portrait hole watching in amazement. Someone in the middle of the pack started clapping and soon the room was filled with applause, cheers and whistling. Lily and James stood awkwardly in the corner grinning embarrassedly.

"Okay guys, clear off. The show's over." James said a huge grin plastered on his face. The crowd slowly began to disperse as students went up to their dormitories and James turned back to Lily.

They stood in awkward silence before Lily had the courage to speak. "So, where does this leave us now?"

"Well, after that, I don't think I can go back to being just friends." James grinned cheekily at her and Lily blushed again.

"Are we…um…together now or what?" Lily stared at her feet as if they were the most fascinating and exciting things she had ever seen.

"Lily Evans!" James exclaimed in feigned shock, his eyes glinting with mischief. "Are you asking me out?"

"No. Yes. Maybe." Lily desperately wished she could stop blushing.

James wrapped his arms around Lily and whispered softly in her ear. "I love you Lily. And I want to be with you more than anything in the world."

Lily felt warmth and happiness fill her at his words. Suddenly she pulled back and stared at him with a look or fear on her face.

"James, I really really like you. But…but…I…" Her eyes were filled with sudden tears and she looked at him pleadingly.

"What's wrong Lily?" James made to hug her again but she stopped him. "Whatever it is, you can tell me." His voice was full of concern.

Tears spilled over her pale cheeks as she looked up at James in apology. "I know you want me to say it back to you but I can't. I don't even know what it feels like to be in love. I want to be able to mean it when I say it, not just say it because I feel I should or I have to. I'm sorry James…" Lily trailed off, her face white and scared.

James initial confusion at what she was talking about was almost immediately covered by a smile. James pulled Lily into him, her body pressed tightly against his.

"Lily," He laughed. "Stop worrying! None of that matters. Just being with you is more than enough for me right now." James kissed her quickly on the lips and Lily smiled up at him in relief.

"So, you're not going to break up with me?" Lily asked slightly worriedly.

James looked mock-thoughtful. "Well…" Lily swatted his arm playfully and he grinned. "Not on your life! I've waited for ages for this to happen, and I'm certainly not going to break up with you," James looked at his watch "after ten minutes of going out. Maybe after 20 minutes, but certainly not after ten." Lily swatted him again.

James leaned down slightly and kissed Lily ever so lightly on the lips still trying to figure it if was all real or not. After all this time, was he really going out with Lily Evans? As he pulled back from her, James smiled his biggest grin yet. Things couldn't get any better than they were now!

---

A few minutes later, Lily entered her dormitory, a silly grin plastered across her face.

"You have some explaining to do missy." Marly grinned back at her and winked knowingly. "Congratulations." She pulled Lily into a tight hug.

"So…?" Clara was almost bouncing with excitement as she looked at Lily with wide, interested eyes. "Tell us everything!"

"There isn't really much to tell." Lily continued to grin, her cheeks slightly pinker than before.

"So, are you going out now?" Natalie asked, always straight to the point.

Lily nodded. Who would have thought that she would be going out with James Potter of all people? Lily still couldn't quite believe it herself.

"When are you seeing him next?" Clara asked excitedly.

'Umm, tomorrow at breakfast I guess." Lily said, looking over at Clara weirdly. What kind of a question was that? She saw him at breakfast every morning, why would tomorrow be any different?

"No silly! As in, when are you going out on an actual date?"

Suddenly, Lily was struck with a worrying thought. They hadn't really said anything about it. Should she ask him? Or was she supposed to wait of him to ask her? Or would it just kind of happen?

And what about tomorrow when they saw each other? Would she have to act different now? Would he kiss her? Did she want him to? What if people saw? Were they going to tell people, or keep it to themselves?

Lily's gleeful smile slipped from her face. She felt slightly sick and anxious. This was completely unknown territory for her. Sure, she and her dorm mates had spent hours pouring over magazines reading about the rules of dating, but they didn't really apply in real life did they?

Spilling out all her worries to her friends' concerned and intrigued faces, Lily had to admit that she desperately needed advice. And advice she did get. Unfortunately, it wasn't quite what she had expected.

"Lily," Clara said knowingly. "Now that you've got James, you need to work on keeping him. First thing to remember: keep him happy. James loves quidditch, right? So take an interest. Cheer him on at games, watch his practices, research past games."

"I can understand cheering him on at games, I always cheer Gryffindor anyway. But go to his practices? I'd be bored stiff! And research quidditch? I have much better things to do with my time and I don't even like quidditch that much." Lily said simply.

Clara looked horrified. "Who cares? That's not the point! Pretend, Lily. He'll never know the difference. Do you know how many hours I've sat watching quidditch practices in the freezing rain, or listening to a guy drone on and on about the most boring topic in the world with a smile plastered to my face? Many. It's par for the course."

Lily was confused but decided not to question Clara. These rules sounded stupid to her but she wasn't going to tell Clara that. Clara lived by these rules, despite how many times they had failed her.

"Next thing you need to know: always agree with him. Even if he's clearly wrong, pretend that he's right. Laugh at all his pranks even if you think they're stupid. Watch and cheer at all his quidditch practices and games even if you're bored or you don't like quidditch that much. Pretend you love his friends even if you don't get on that well or you don't like them."

Lily opened her mouth to speak when Natalie cut across her. "That's stupid. If you follow those rules, guys will get bored. They feel too secure, they know your feelings for them, they feel like they have the power in the relationship. _You_ need to have the power." Natalie said firmly.

"So, you're telling me that I don't act that way at all?" Lily asked, looking at Natalie who nodded. Clara huffed behind them.

"Natalie has a very different idea of how to keep a guy." Clara said in an I-am-right-and-you-are-wrong voice while she glared at Natalie.

While they normally got on quite well, Clara and Natalie were complete opposites, and times like now highlighted all their differences. Clara was like a sulky child who hated not getting her own way or being ignored while Natalie was bossy and loud and would always make her opinion heard even if no one wanted to hear it.

"Well Clara has the right set of rules for how to drive a guy away." Natalie snapped back. "Lily, if you want to keep James, you need to be unpredictable. You need to keep him guessing so he won't get bored." Natalie said, turning back to Lily and addressing her seriously.

"Dating is never simple. There are rules. Rules that work and rules that don't." She shot a look at Clara who was pointedly ignoring her. "The most important rule for keeping a guy is to never chase him. Play hard to get, let _him_ chase _you_."

Lily looked confused but Natalie mistook her silence for understanding and continued.

"Rule number two: you must never let a guy know how you feel about him. You have to keep him on his toes all the time. Be mysterious, don't tell him too much about yourself. Always keep him guessing. He'll be intrigued by you."

"So I pretend I'm not interested even when I am?" Lily asked dubiously. She wasn't sure she was going to like Natalie's rules any better than she did Clara's rules.

"Yes!" Natalie exclaimed happily, shooting Clara a triumphant look. "Rule number three: be unavailable. When he asks you out on a date, say you're busy even if you're just doing your homework. No matter how tempted you are to accept, you must decline at least two dates before you accept one."

Lily rose her eyebrows is surprise. This sounded terrible! Natalie's set of rules were like treating your boyfriend like a piece of garbage.

"Rule number four: don't write to him, don't kiss him, don't ask him out. Wait for him to send you a letter. You may reply, but only after three days or you'll seem too eager. Wait for him to kiss you. You are permitted to kiss him back but you can't initiate the affection. And wait for him to ask you out and then follow rule number three."

Natalie was really getting into this. Every circumstance, every damn situation had an already planned response. Clara was still sitting huffily on her bed and ignoring Natalie. Lily was listening with increasing surprise and Marly (for once in her life) was completely silent, watching Natalie with a small frown on her pretty face.

"Do you think you have all of that Lily?" Lily nodded dumbly. She was more confused now than she had been at the start. Why was it all so difficult?

"Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen." Natalie added with a smile.

"That is the biggest load of garbage I have ever heard!" Marly suddenly burst out. They three other girls looked up in surprise at her annoyed face.

"All those rules, those planned responses and situations, all the lying, it's stupid! You either end up looking like an overeager, pretentious try-hard or a stuck-up, cold-hearted bitch." Clara and Natalie looked back at Marly indignantly.

"You make it sound like the only way Lily can keep a guy is if she sticks to some stupid rules, lies to them and pretends to be someone she's not! Lily is more than capable of keeping James by just being herself. He fell in love with her for just being Lily, not for following some stupid rules a magazine says is the correct way to date. You should be encouraging Lily, being happy for her, not telling her how to act so that James won't dump her." Marly glared back and forth from Clara to Natalie, both of which who looked stunned.

"We didn't mean it like that." Clara stuttered nervously and looking apologetically at Lily.

"Yeah," Natalie chimed in, for the first time in her life looking at a loss for what to say. "We're sorry Lily, we were just trying to help. We didn't mean it to be offensive."

Lily gave them both a small smile. "It's okay. I know you didn't mean it that way."

She did appreciate that her friends were only trying to help but their rules weren't exactly what she needed. She was more confused than ever. Lily was also grateful for Marly's support and advice, which seemed a little more helpful. Turning back to Marly with a grateful smile, Lily was thankful for the first piece of useful advice she had receive all day.

"Lily, dating isn't always easy. Things will be awkward at first, there is no way around that. But just be yourself. If you want to ask James to Hogsmeade or somewhere, then ask him. He'll probably be thrilled that he didn't have to pluck up the courage to ask you first. And if you don't like something James loves, then so what? There will be things that you love that James won't like either."

"Yeah," Clara chimed in with a change of heart, obviously keen to try and make it up to Lily, "Marly's right. Guys don't like games and they never end well."

"That's right." Wow, Lily thought in dismay, Natalie must really feel bad for her to admit she was wrong! "I still can't believe you're going out with him Lily, I really am happy for you." Natalie beamed widely at her and Lily felt herself grin happily back.

"Aww, our little baby's growing up!" Marly added with a smile.

Amongst the group of friends, Lily was the baby of the quartet. As much as they all tried not too, they all worried about her the most, looked out for her the most and genuinely mothered her the most. As well as being the youngest, she was also the most innocent. At seventeen she had only just had her first kiss (that very evening in fact) while the others had long since had theirs back in fourth or fifth year.

"Sorry for yelling at you guys before." Marly said apologetically to Clara and Natalie who waved her apology away.

"Nah, you were right." Clara said humbly with a thoughtful look on her face. Clara's relationships never went well. Her longest had lasted two weeks the rest never making it past the first date, or incidentally, the first night together. The girls had spent many hours comforting a devastated Clara who could never figure out where she had gone wrong, why she had been dumped so easily. Now, she seemed to be slowly understanding.

"Chocolate." Natalie suddenly said, startling them all. "I think we are in need of a big block of chocolate, a tub of ice cream, a pile of cushions and blankets and some candles."

A smile slowly spread across four faces as comprehension dawned. The essentials. What every girl needed: comfort food and a late night of girl talk. The others were surprised that Natalie had been the one to initiate the evening.

Natalie normally didn't have much patience for the whole girly thing. On the times that she did participate in one of their girls' nights, she mainly stayed for the food and rarely spilled her secrets or shared her stories. For the most part, Natalie was a closed book. There was a lot about her that not even her closest friends knew. But she'd changed recently. They all had. Whether they liked it or not, in some way or other, they were growing up.

"Sounds like a plan." Marly said as she began to gather up blankets and pillows to make a comfortable mound for them to lie on in the centre of the room.

"I guess I'd better get the food." As Head Girl, Lily was the only one who had a reasonable excuse to be out of bed at that hour.

Half an hour later, they were all comfortably settled in the middle of the room, munching on a huge block of chocolate and eating spoonfuls of ice cream from the tub. Candles flickered around the room and giggles and whispers periodically broke the calm silence.

"How long have you and Michael been together now?" Lily asked Natalie curiously. Michael was a Hufflepuff seventh year and Natalie's boyfriend.

"Over six months now." Natalie answered with a smile.

"Well…" Clara probed but Natalie laughed and shook her head.

"I'm not telling anymore than I already have." Natalie giggled.

"Oh my gosh…" Lily said with a gasp.

"Did she…?" Clara added.

"Was that…?" Marly's eyes widened and stared at Natalie.

"Do my ears deceive me or did I just hear you giggle Natalie?" Lily asked, trying to suppress a grin.

"No!" Natalie could help but let another small giggle escape.

"Natalie!" Marly exclaimed with feigned-shock. "Don't tell me you're going to start turning girly on us? First you initiate a girls' night, then you giggle. We'll have you in skirts and wearing make-up every day in no time!"

Natalie tried to protest but was now laughing so hard that tears were running down her cheeks. Natalie was about as girly as Snape was nice. Her brown hair was cut quite short, but not unfashionably so. Not even an army of ten-thousand could force her into wearing a skirt and she wore make up about as often as Snape washed his hair.

"Ok Lily, it's your time to spill now." Clara said once everyone had calmed down from the shock of Natalie giggling and Natalie herself had gained control of her laughter.

"Wh-what do you mean?" Lily asked blushing ever so slightly.

"I mean, now that you and James are going out, we are going to want details." Clara explained.

"But, we haven't even been going out for a day yet, let alone gone on an actual date." Lily protested.

"I know, that's why we're not pestering you tonight. Tonight is a celebration." Clara said and smiled at a now pink faced Lily.

"To Lily and James. You are the cutest couple Hogwarts has had in a while." Marly smiled as the held the tub of ice cream up in a toast. Lily blushed a darker shade of pink as all four girls dug a spoon into the ice cream.

The room was quiet for a while, except for the munching of chocolate and the rustle of blankets.

"What if James thinks I'm a bad kisser?" Lily suddenly burst out looking worried.

The room burst into laughter. "Lily, don't worry so much. James is completely besotted with you. You could just about do any appalling thing you wanted and James would fail to see fault." Marly said.

Lily relaxed slightly but still looked anxious. "But what if he goes to hold my hand and I'm so nervous that my hand's all sweaty? And when he kisses me, what do I do with my arms? And do I have to sit next to him at breakfast now or in class? What if he –" Lily broke off by a pillow hitting her square in the face.

"Stop worrying!" Clara laughed as she watched Lily's startled face. And before she knew it Lily had thrown a pillow right back at her. In no time at all, pillow were flying in every direction and the room was full of squeals and giggles and laughs.

With a full blown pillow fight in process and many more hours of trying to wheedle information out of Natalie, reassuring Lily, hearing the latest gossip about the castle from Marly and getting first hand stories of Clara's latest dates to come, the night was going to be far from boring. And to think the evening had only started. Never underestimate the power of true friendship, or a night of good fun.

---

**Wow, that chapter really was long! Anyway, messyblackhair66 made some good points in her review which I just wanted to clarify and rectify for anyone else. **

**The girl kissed James simply because she liked him. It was just a casual flirt in the hallway (well from James' point of view anyway). She was nothing more than a member of the James Potter Fan Club who wanted his attention and wasn't afraid to get it. Whether or not it meant anything to her can be left up to your imagination. Same for if she was hurt or didn't care about Lily and James getting together. And what happened to her? She is just a nameless character who has no real significance except to give Lily one more reason to doubt why she should go out with James. She probably just went back to life as normal, or she spent hours crying to her friends and eating chocolate over her 'heartbreak' from James. I'll leave it up to you to decide.**

**And secondly, messyblackhair66 also seemed (rightly) surprised at how quickly Lily forgave James. Reading over it again, I realised that Lily probably was a little too forgiving, especially when she has been anything but in the past. So I have also gone back and re-written/added onto their conversation so it hopefully seems a little more plausible. **

**Thanks to messyblackhair66, I really appreciated your review and your comments. Constructive criticism is always appreciated and needed so I can improve the story and my writing. If anyone else has any questions about any part of the story, feel free to stick them in a review and I'm happy to answer, and change if necessary, anything people don't understand. So, thanks again messyblackhair66, please keep up the reviews :-)**

**Btw, sorry about the _really_ long author's notes in this chapter!**


	18. All Revealed

**Thanks so much to messyblackhair66, Sophia, marauderbabe289, Super Cara, xo-MidnightSun-ox, szabatca2, Michela.77 and Lilyluvr for reviewing! You've broken your record with 8 reviews for the last chapter so thanks heaps! I absolutely loved reading all the long reviews from last chapter, I'm glad you're enjoying it so far so another thank you for the comments and praises in your reviews! I appreciate them so much :-)**

**I have also re-written some of the last chapter thanks to messyblackhair66's review so you may like to read it again. Full author's note in last chapter.**

**In reply to Super Cara's question for anyone else interested, I have tried to avoid the cliché of Lily's friends pairing up with the marauders as much as possible. I have no intentions for Clara to get together with Remus or Sirius and as for Marly, I do have plans for her love life, but they also may change. It may involve the other marauders, but she will not 'pair up' as such with either.**

**---**

**Ch 18: All Revealed**

"I don't want to wake up!" Lily groaned burying her face into her pillow as the bright sunlight filtered through the room. The night had been a long one, and in Lily's opinion, four hours of sleep was far from enough.

Shuffling and more groans could be heard beside her as the others were also dragged out of a peaceful slumber. With a sigh, Clara dragged herself from her comfortable bed and made a mad dash towards the shower.

With a groan, Lily pulled her blanket over her head and proceeded to go back to sleep.

---

As she took a seat in the great hall for breakfast, the hall erupted into excited whispers. Looking up in dismay, Lily noticed groups of students all pointing and whispering at her. Her fellow Gryffindors were all grinning knowingly at her and Lily couldn't for the life of her figure out what was going on.

"Marly, do I have a booger sticking out of my nose or something because the whole hall seems to be staring at me?" Lily said anxiously to her friend beside her.

"Of course you don't, I would have told you otherwise." Marly replied as she piled pancakes onto her plate. "They're all whispering about –" Marly broke off as a Ravenclaw boy tapped Lily on the shoulder.

"Are you going out with James Potter?" He asked bluntly as his friends peered over interestedly.

"Umm, yes." Lily mumbled, trying to hide her flaming cheeks. How did the whole school know? They hadn't even been dating for twelve hours yet!

"Congrats mate!" The boy said, slapping James' shoulder as he approached the table followed by the rest of the Marauders. "Knew it would happen one day."

The boy retreated back to his friends as James shot Lily a sheepish look.

"James, how does the whole school know?" Lily stage whispered as he took a seat next to her.

"I don't know," Remus said with a wry smile as James busied himself with the butter. "But it may have something to do with James jumping on the table earlier this morning and shouting 'I'm going out with Lily Evans!'" He paused to look at James who was looking interestedly up at the ceiling and trying not to look too pleased with himself. "Or maybe it was yesterday's event in the common room." Lily blushed deeper and James grinned, if possible, even wider.

"James?" Lily looked questionably at him, asking for confirmation.

"I'm sorry Lil." James finally looked at her. "I didn't mean to, I really did have every intention of just keeping it to ourselves, it just kind of…slipped out." He gave her a winning smile and Lily felt herself melt.

"It's ok James. Just, maybe try not to have anymore announcements to the whole school." Lily smiled at him before returning to her pancakes.

"By the way Prongs, you owe me 10 galleons." Sirius said gruffly from across the table. James and Sirius had barely spoken since their argument. Sirius still had a hostile look on his face and James glared at him.

"What are you talking about? No I don't." James snapped. Remus shot Sirius a warning look which he chose to ignore. A few of the people around them looked up from their food, watching the mounting tension between the two boys.

"Yes you do. It's been more than the two months in which you had to make Eva–" Suddenly faking a dramatic coughing fit, James attempted to drown out the rest of Sirius' words and shot an anxious look at Lily. He'd completely forgotten about the bet he'd made with Sirius nearly three months ago.

"Are you okay James?" She asked concernedly but her face held signs of suspicion. She wasn't stupid and it didn't take a genius to figure out that something was up. Something that James didn't want her to know.

"Yeah. Look, I've…um…forgotten something so I'll see you in potions ok?" Without waiting for an answer, James took off, miraculously recovered from his coughing.

"Is it just me, or is he hiding something?" Lily turned to Marly who was still eating her breakfast.

"I didn't notice anything." Marly lied unconvincingly without looking at her. Now more suspicious than before, Lily looked over at Sirius who was glaring moodily at his plate.

"Ah, Sirius?" Lily asked tentatively.

"What, Evans?" Sirius said bad-temperedly, looking up with a scowl.

"Sorry." Lily said, looking taken aback. "I was just wondering what that was all about with James. And what's it got to do with me?" Lily continued hesitantly, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"None of your business Evans. Why don't you ask your boyfriend if you're so interested?" Lily was shocked at the hostility in his voice.

"Right. Sorry." Lily said quietly trying not to take his nastiness to heart. He's just being that way because he's still fighting with James, she told herself.

Minutes later, Lily and Marly were heading off to their first lessons. Still mulling over the morning's interesting events, Lily was more confused and more curious than ever. I'll just talk to James, Lily decided eventually, and we'll sort out the whole thing.

---

Looking back, Lily realised that that was much easier said than done. What she hadn't been counting on was James avoiding her. He wouldn't look her in the eye and was forced-cheery every time he talked to her. Whenever she tried to bring up that morning's events he would immediately start another coughing fit or mysteriously need to run off to get something he had 'forgot'.

Sirius on the other hand was in a sulk for the rest of the day. He and James took it in turns to glare nastily at each other throughout the day. Remus and Peter avoided them both claiming that 'they needed to sort it out themselves'.

"What did you go and tell her for?" James rounded on Sirius during one of their free lessons later that afternoon.

"I didn't tell her anything."

"Yes you did." James insisted angrily. "You purposely mentioned it in front of her."

"So what?" Sirius shrugged nonchalantly. "Why can't she know?"

"Are you mad? She'll kill me when she finds out, thanks to you. Are you trying to make her break up with me?

Sirius shrugged again, only increasing James' anger.

"You're a jerk, you know that? I haven't done anything to you and here you are trying to sabotage my relationship and being a moody git the rest of the time!" James exclaimed heatedly.

"Yea?" Sirius fired back. "You call ditching your friends for some girl who isn't even worth your time nothing do you?"

"Don't you dare insult Lily." James threatened angrily. "I don't know what your problem is but just leave me alone."

"My pleasure." Sirius shot back nastily before retreating out the common room and slamming the portrait behind him to shrieks, insults and protests from the Fat Lady.

So all in all, the day had not been a pleasant one for anyone involved. Sirius was in a foul mood, James was angry at Sirius and nervous as hell for when he had to face Lily, Lily herself was burning with curiosity and suspicion and Marly was doing her best to keep the peace.

---

Later that evening, Lily and James were doing their usual late night patrols of the school. They walked in silence, James apprehensive and Lily waiting for the right moment to bring up the events of the morning.

This isn't how I imagined our first evening of patrols as a couple, James thought sadly. His version of events had featured him and Lily making out in an empty corridor for the most part of the evening. That however wasn't looking likely at the moment.

"Err, James?" Lily asked hesitantly after they had been walking in silence for over an hour.

"Wow, would you look at that wall over there." James said pointing across the corridor. "It's so…er…grey." He added, feeling stupid as he said. He truly was terrible at distracting people.

"James, don't try and change the subject." Lily said sternly. "That is the worst line of distraction I've ever heard." She added with a small smile.

James looked down at the floor.

"What was Sirius saying this morning that had something to do with me?" Lily asked super sweetly.

"Err…." James trailed off, looking at her hopefully.

"James, just tell me." Lily said putting on her best I-won't-get-mad-just-tell-me-the-truth voice.

"It was nothing really." James said airily, with a casual wave of his hand to try and ease some of his nervousness. However, it only served to make him look like he was doing a feeble imitation of a chicken.

Lily continued to look at him expectantly and James' cool-exterior faltered slightly. "It was just a stupid thing about a thing." James attempted feebly.

"A thing about a thing?" Lily asked sceptically. "Very descriptive James."

James swallowed. "Do you promise you won't get mad?" James asked hopefully.

"Just tell me James." Lily attempted another super sweet smile. She was starting to wonder if she really wanted to know.

"Well, ok." James wiped his hands nervously on his pants. "I promise it's not as bad as it sounds." James tried. Lily looked as if it was taking all her effort to keep smiling encouragingly at him. He was long past procrastinating and Lily's patience seemed to be waning.

"Well, Sirius and I made a kind of a bet, I guess." James looked around the corridor for some sort of distraction but nothing came to his rescue so he had no choice but to plunge on. "To do with you."

"A bet? To do with me?" Lily asked. She was looking apprehensive now.

James licked his lips nervously before continuing. "In November, I bet Sirius ten galleons that I could get you to go out with me in two months." James blurted. Lily looked stunned.

"You made a bet with Sirius that you could convince me to go out with you?" Lily asked in amazement. James nodded anxiously.

Lily stared at him in disbelief for a few minutes. With each passing second, James grew more and more uneasy. Her expression was slowly changing from shock to anger.

"Lily?" James said in a small voice. "Are you going to say something?"

Suddenly Lily found her voice and James dearly wished she hadn't. "Is that all I am to you? A bet, a stupid goddamn bet?" Her voice was slowly rising in both volume and pitch.

"No, Lily –" James tried desperately but Lily ignored him.

"I can't believe you." Lily continued. "I thought you'd changed James but now I know your just the same arrogant jerk you always were." Her voice was choked with tears now and James was desperately trying to explain himself but to no avail.

"You made me believe that you actually cared about me, hell, that you even loved me. I was the idiot who believed you. But it was nothing more than meaningless dribble to try and win a bet." Tears were rolling down her cheeks now and she felt as if her heart was breaking.

"Lily, I meant everything I said. I do love you." James made to take her hand but she wrenched it out of his grasp.

"I hate you James Potter. Just stay the hell away from me!" Lily yelled as she walked quickly down the corridor away from him. Her head was reeling. How could he do this?

"Lily, please! Let me explain." James begged, racing after her.

"I don't want your pitiful excuses." Lily cried. "You know what James? Not only did you lose your bet, but you just lost me as well."

"Don't do this Lily." James said pleadingly.

"JUST STAY OUT OF MY LIFE POTTER!" Lily yelled as she ran, sobbing down the corridor. James watched in horror as she tore away from him. They hadn't even lasted a day.

James knew there was no use chasing after her. She was too upset, too angry, all because of him. James cursed himself over and over. How could he be so stupid? He never should have agreed to the bet in the first place.

Then he remembered Sirius. This was all his fault! He was the one who told her, he was the one to blame. James was filled with a fresh wave of anger, not at himself this time, but at Sirius. His former best mate. He was going to make him pay.

---

The atmosphere of the seventh year boys' dormitory had never been so tense. James and Sirius were now officially at war as of that night. James had been positively fuming when he had entered the dormitory some time before midnight. After yelling abuse and curses at a sullen Sirius, James had retreated behind his curtains where he spent the rest of the evening in despair over losing Lily barely a day after they had started going out.

Not that he would ever admit it, but Sirius felt slightly guilty for ruining James' relationship. But somehow, he couldn't bring himself to shove his pride out the window and apologise. While sympathetic about James' loss, Remus was annoyed at both of them for 'acting like a pair of four year olds'.

In his opinion, James was an idiot to ever bet on Lily in the first place and Sirius was a spiteful, immature git to have purposefully mentioned it in front of Lily. And there was no denying that Sirius had mentioned intentionally. Truth be told, he only did it to piss of James (which he more than succeeded in doing) and never expected him and Lily to break up over it.

Peter just stayed out of the way in fear of having a shoe thrown at him in a tantrum from either James or Sirius. Mostly, he followed Remus around and fretted about whether James and Sirius would ever make up.

"Of course they will." Remus explained with increasing exasperation each time Peter brought it up. "They'll get over it eventually when one of them grows a backbone and has the decency to apologise."

---

The next morning, James woke up with new hope. He was going to win Lily back if it was the last thing he did. Even if she didn't want to listen to him, he would make her listen. One thing he knew for sure was that he wasn't going to lose her that easily. He wasn't going to give up.

James kept watch for Lily all day but she seemed to be avoiding him as much as possible. She wasn't at breakfast, nor did he see her in the common room. He was starting to worry that she might be sick when he caught a glimpse of her down one of the corridors between lessons two and three.

Her bright hair was noticeable amongst the group of other students and James made a quick dash through the crowd to reach her.

Grabbing her hand before she could even notice his presence, James dragged her all the way to an empty corridor, not caring if he was late for potions.

"James, get off me." Lily said angrily as they reached their destination. She struggled under his grip but he held on.

"Lily, you have to let me explain." James said defiantly as he watched her glare at him.

"I don't want to hear it." Lily said with as much confidence as she could muster. In all honesty, she wanted James to explain himself. She wanted him to have an excuse. She wanted to be able to forgive him. She wasn't ready to lose him yet.

"I don't care. I love you Lily. No bet or anything will change that." He looked so sincere and Lily stopped struggling against his grip and listened. "The bet with Sirius was stupid, but it meant nothing. Even if I had won, the prize wouldn't have been the money, it would have been you."

"I'm sorry Lily. I never meant to hurt you." James asked softly, looking deeply into her sparkling eyes.

"I'm sorry too." Lily whispered back. She didn't trust her voice enough to speak any louder. "Yesterday, I was angry and hurt. But then I realised, I wasn't ready to lose you yet."

"So you can forgive me?" James asked, his voice rising hopefully.

Lily smiled. "That depends. You have to make it up to me first." James' eyebrows furrowed thoughtfully. "And you could start by asking me to Hogsmeade next weekend."

James' face broke into a grin. "Lily Evans, would you do me the honour of your company to Hogsmeade next weekend?"

"Why James, I thought you'd never ask." Lily smiled happily back at him.

And slowly, James leaned down and kissed her softly. All of Lily's worries seemed to fly away as she leaned against the wall, James' body pressed tightly against hers. Without thinking, her arms reached up and she ran her fingers through his messy black hair. She didn't care if she missed her whole damn potions lesson. Oh well, alright, she did, but that didn't stop her from kissing James fiercely back.

I hope we can make up this way every time, James thought happily. His heart was so full it seemed like nothing in the world could go wrong.

"POTTER! EVANS! WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU DOING?"

---

**Next chapter will be the date! Hmm, I wonder how it goes…**


	19. The Perfect Date

**Thanks to Rose94, messyblackhair66, xo-MidnightSun-ox, Lilyluvr, american nymphadora, bubblegirl27, Super Cara, STonks and Michela.77 for reviewing :-)**

**Sorry I took a while to update. I've been really busy with the lead up to exams (and will be for the next few weeks) and had to write this chapter quite quickly so hopefully there aren't too many mistakes. I hope its okay! **

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**Ch 19: The _Perfect_ Date**

James wiped his sweaty hands nervously on his pants as he dragged his feet along one of Hogwarts' many corridors. Each step took enormous willpower as he commanded his legs to keep heading in the direction of the Great Hall rather than sprinting back up to the safe confinement of his dormitory.

He was early, far earlier than he needed to be, but he needed some time to calm himself before he met up with Lily. For today was their big date. Well, it wasn't a big date, but it was their first and James so badly wanted everything to be perfect.

For the past week he had spent hours racking his brains for the perfect date. He had barely gotten a wink of sleep the night before as his nerves had kept him awake until the early hours of the morning.

With a quick glance around the hall, James was glad to see that Lily hadn't arrived at breakfast yet. A few cups of strong coffee, James' nerves seemed to have lessened slightly and he felt much more awake than earlier. Good, he thought, he didn't want to be yawning and nearly falling asleep during their date.

Making his way into the Entrance Hall later that morning, James felt his stomach squirm with anxiety. Lily wasn't there yet so James stood to the side of the oak fronts doors, watching the other students file past him.

"Hey there." Lily smiled as she approached him. "James Potter, early for something? My eyes must be deceiving me."

James laughed nervously, trying to ignore the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. Lily looked very pretty, her hair tied up in a loose bun. By looking at her, James definitely couldn't notice that she was nearly as nervous as he was.

"Shall we…er…go then?" James asked as they hovered by the door, neither knowing quite what to do.

"Sure."

Joining the end of the line, they waited awkwardly to get their names ticked off by Apollyon Pringle. He shot James a glare as they passed and Lily stifled a giggle.

Suddenly, her giggles turned into full on laughter. "I can't believe McGonagall caught us the other day." She said, still laughing, with a wicked glint in her eyes.

James grinned back. He was surprised she had brought up their, mind blowing in his opinion, snog in the corridor. It had definitely been the highlight of his week, minus the detention he received afterwards.

"I know! I thought she was about to explode she was so angry."

The vision of a livid Professor McGonagall standing angrily with her hands on her hips, her lips pursed so tight in her fury that they were barely visible made the pair laugh harder.

At her thundering voice they had sprung apart instantly, Lily looking absolutely horrified with her face the colour of a beetroot and James couldn't hide the grin from his face.

Professor McGonagall had gone on to lecture them about inappropriate codes of behaviour and how disappointed she was in them as they were both Head Boy and Girl and supposed to be setting an example for the other students. She hadn't particularly liked James comment of 'If they were all in class where they belonged, then none of the students should have seen us, so technically we haven't set a bad example.' In fact, it had been after that when she had taken 20 points from Gryffindor and given them both detentions.

"I still can't believe I got my first detention though." Lily added, a little more seriously as they continued along the path towards Hogsmeade.

"Does that mean there won't be any repeat performances?" James asked with a suggestive glint in his hazel eyes.

The tense atmosphere from earlier had evaporated quickly, something for which both of them were grateful. However, as they continued walking, chatting happily along the way, they were rudely interrupted by a lone Snape.

"Well well well, if it isn't Potter and Mudblood." He sneered. James whipped around, anger etched on his face and his wand raised threateningly.

"Don't you dare call her that!" James yelled angrily.

"James, just ignore him. He's not worth it." Lily said calmly as she shot a look of dislike at Snape but otherwise ignored his presence.

"Oooo, are you going to listen to your little mudblood girlfriend Potter? We all know you will do anything she says." Snape's lip curled in a twisted smile.

"Expelliarmus!" James yelled as Snape's wand flew into the air and landed some fifty metres away.

Raising his wand, ready to strike again, James suddenly gained control of himself. What was he doing? He was on his first date with Lily, was he really about to blow it by cursing Snape into oblivion? Still fuming, James turned around and marched up the pathway into Hogsmeade, Lily hurrying behind him.

"Sorry Lily." James mumbled, looking down at his feet when he eventually slowed down enough for Lily to catch up.

"It's okay." Lily said softly.

"I just don't get why you stick up for him anyway!" James suddenly burst out. "He treats you like dirt and calls you the m-word and you just calmly ignore him. How do you do it? He makes me so mad I just want to curse him until he's unrecognisable!"

James was so angry. They had barely even reached Hogsmeade and the date he had put more thought into than anything else (except for the odd, very well though out prank) was turning into a disaster.

"I don't stick up for him." Lily said, demonstrating that calm voice again. "But I don't see the point in getting upset by his taunts. He can call me what ever he likes because he's nothing more than dirt on my shoe. Prejudice isn't fair but it exists and it probably always will. But I'm not going to bother wasting my breath on some slimy, narrow-minded git who thinks he's better than me because of his blood."

James was truly amazed. No matter how right she was and how reasonable everything she had said sounded, James couldn't stop himself boiling with anger at the thought of Snape's insults.

"But why do you stop me from cursing him? You might not care what he calls you but I care!" James persisted.

Lily gave a small smile. "I appreciate that you stand up for me and care about what he says but it doesn't matter. By retaliating, you giving him the satisfaction of knowing that he's got to you. You don't prove anything by jinxing him. All you're doing is showing him your weakness." Lily knew that would get to him, and it did.

"I don't have weakness." James exploded.

Lily smiled. "Yes you do. Everybody does. Snape, me, you, I'm sure even Dumbledore does."

"No you don't. You don't have any weaknesses. You're perfect." James said. His anger seemed to have cooled of somewhat and he managed a smile.

"Yes I do." Lily grinned, glad that he was lightening up again.

"What are you're weaknesses then?" James raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"I'm not telling you! You'll use them against me!" Lily laughed and James looked affronted.

"Me? James Potter? I would never do such a thing!" He grinned wickedly and they both laughed. They had now reached the main street and could see groups of Hogwarts students milling in an out of the shops.

"Where did you want to go?" Lily asked.

"How about we get a drink?" James suggested.

Lily nodded and turned towards The Three Broomsticks. However, James kept on walking right past it. Lily's heart sunk slightly as a thought struck her. James wasn't taking her to Madame Puddifoot's was he?

Indeed he was. Popular among many Hogwarts couples, James hated Madame Puddifoot's. But today wasn't about him, it was about Lily, and every girl seemed to gravitate toward this pink, frilly, squishy teashop. Therefore, James assumed that Lily would expect no less than a drink at Madame Puddifoot's. Except Lily wasn't like every other girl. Her face showed slight signs of distaste and James felt his nerves return with full pelt.

"If you don't like it, we can just go to The Three Broomsticks." James said.

Lily quickly scolded herself for letting him notice her distaste.

"No, this is great." Lily lied with an encouraging smile.

Despite her dislike of the place, she felt touched that James had some here for her even with his own clear hatred of the teashop.

Trying to remember everything Remus had told him about chivalry, James stepped forward and held the door open for Lily. With surprise, she thanked him and walked into the packed room. After trying to squeeze their way between the closely situated tables earning many glares from couples, annoyed at having to unglue themselves to move their chairs, Lily and James eventually made it to a tiny table at the back.

With a rush in which James accidentally kicked the waitress in the shin which earned him a loud squeal and yet another glare, James stood behind Lily's chair. Lily gave him a curious look and blushing, James pulled out her chair for her with silent self-congratulations at his own chivalry.

Lily was absolutely astounded. She felt a rush of affection towards him at all his effort. She could tell from his face, and that uncharacteristic blush, that he was a nervous as hell and badly wanted her to enjoy their date. The romantic, chivalrous stuff clearly didn't come naturally for him but his thoughtfulness and effort meant a lot to her even if it wasn't all quite to her taste.

"Thanks James." Lily smiled as she made to take a seat.

James, however, is all his haste, lost his balance and fell with a topple into the next table. The chair, which he had been holding on to, was pulled with him instead of being pushed in as was his plan, and Lily fell too. With a soft thump and a face full of surprise, Lily landed hard on her bottom. She winced as she stood, rubbing her sore bottom as she stood and looked at James. Apologising profusely to the young couple he had knocked into, James hurried back to the table red in the face. Lily couldn't quite tell if it was from embarrassment or anger.

"Sorry." James said as he took a seat opposite Lily who had retrieved her chair and sat down. "Would you like to order?"

Even after their drinks arrived and they sat sipping them awkwardly, conversation was stilted. Their earlier ease with each other was long gone and a long drawn out silence being occasionally punctuated with the slurping sounds from the tables around them.

Lily couldn't quite figure out just why James was so unnaturally nervous and twitchy, but the atmosphere was catching and Lily found herself becoming increasingly uneasy. While Lily sat contemplating, on the other side of the table, James was dealing with an inner battle.

His eyes were glued to Lily as he sat on his hand in an attempt to stop them from reaching out for her. How desperately he wanted to just lean over the small table and kiss her. The couples at the surrounding tables were all taunting him as he fought to gain control of his overpowering feelings. James knew that it would be a bad move to start kissing her in the middle of the tea shop. Lily just wasn't that kind of girl.

Sure, she hadn't objected to any of their recent snog sessions (well, there had only been the one of them but still, she appeared to have enjoyed it just as much as he had). But that had been in the privacy of an empty corridor, with the unfortunate occurrence of Professor McGonagall showing up, but for the most part, it was a relatively private snog. And yes, there had also been their fist kiss, in which the majority of Gryffindor house had witnessed.

But despite all that, Lily just wasn't a snogging in public kind of girl. A fact James was well aware of which was what restrained him from making an even bigger idiot of himself than he had already succeeded in doing in the hour they had been on their date. He wasn't about to stuff up (yet again) his chances with Lily, nor did he want her to think that he was only interested in her purely for the physical stuff. He wasn't. When he wasn't as nervous as hell and felt like his mouth was glued together, he loved every minute of just talking to her, making her laugh, just enjoying her company, savouring the knowledge that she was his girlfriend.

"Are you okay James?" Lily asked softly as she peered at him curiously.

Gently, she put her hand on his in a concerned fashion and James jumped about a mile in the air. He had been so deep in his thought (or visions of kissing her) that he had forgotten that she was less than a metre away from him. Lily looked shocked at his reaction but nothing compared to her expression as her teacup was sent flying.

In his jolt of surprise, James had managed to send her cup high into the air. As if in slow motion, James watched in horror as the hot tea cascaded down on her, drenching her top. With a jerk of surprise and pain, Lily yelled at the tea scalded her skin and the cup landed at her feet with a smash.

"Ouch!" Lily cried as she grabbed her wand.

Her jumper had soaked up most of the tea, protecting her from the scalding hot liquid but her hand had not been so lucky. With a wave of her free hand, Lily evaporated the tea from her clothes but her look of pain lingered. Angry red burns were showing up all over the pale skin on her left hand.

"Oh my God Lily, I am so sorry!" James cried. He didn't know what else to do but to watch in growing dismay at the damage he had caused.

"It's alright James." Lily replied, a little distractedly as she conjured up some ice to hold against her injured hand.

Her voice came out harsher than she had intended from the burning pain from her hand and James looked wretched. His face was pale, causing his black hair to stand out against his skin and his eyes were wide.

"Let's get out of here, okay?" Lily smiled kindly as she noticed James' face. She was ever so slightly miffed at his clumsiness but his miserable face made her feel sorry for him. He was trying so hard but instead, he only made things worse.

James nodded dumbly and followed her out of Madame Puddifoot's. The waitress gave a relieved sigh as she saw him leave and a last few glared were shot in his direction for his disruptions. James felt his heart sink even lower, if that was even possible.

He was sure Lily would never go on another date with him again, not after the way this one was turning out. And in all honesty, he couldn't really blame her. This was the worst date in the history of dating. James was beginning to even question whether Snivellus could have put together a better date for his girlfriend, if he could ever bribe someone enough money or find a girl desperate enough to go out with him that is. Or just find them a blind fold.

As he trudged along in his despair, James doubted if things could get any worse. So far, in just over an hour he had managed to curse Snape in front of Lily, take her to a coffee shop she clearly detested despite her protests on the contrary which he could tell were only because she was trying to be polite, cause her to fall on her butt in said café and spill scalding hot tea all over her causing her to burn her hand. But if your name is James Potter, trouble seems to follow you wherever you go. Things can always get worse.

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**I won't leave the date unfinished for long so the rest should be posted soon if all goes well. Hope everyone who celebrates it had a great Halloween. **


	20. Things Aren't Always As They Seem

**Thanks messyblackhair66, american nymphadora, xo-MidnightSun-ox, STonks, Super Cara, laxrules18 and rose94 for reviewing:-) Hope I didn't take too long to update. It's a bit shorter than the last few chapters have been but I hope it's still okay. Wow, chapter 20, I never thought this fic would be so long, and it's not even finished yet!**

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**Ch 20: Things Aren't Always As They Seem**

Back out on the main street of Hogsmeade, James and Lily walked next to each other on the narrow sidewalk.

"Did you want to go into Honeydukes?" Lily suggested, hoping that chocolate would make James feel a little better.

But less than ten minutes later they emerged, James in barely a better mood and Lily feeling increasingly nettled at James' behaviour. Sure he was embarrassed and upset, Lily understood that, but he was sulking worse than a two year old.

"Zonkos?" James' eyes lit up slightly at the mention of his favourite shop and Lily felt a rush of relief. She wasn't liking this sulky James very much.

With the closest thing to a smile Lily had seen from him all day, James was almost back to his old self as he wandered through Zonko's. Lily felt her own spirits lift at James obvious pleasure in the newest additions for practical jokers.

Laughing and joking, this was the James that Lily fancied. The fun, light-hearted, interesting, easy to talk to James.

The comfortable atmosphere between them had returned and they both seemed to be enjoying themselves. Maybe this date isn't a complete disaster, James thought happily as Lily squealed and burst out laughing as he startled her with one of the jokes. Soon, however, James would be cursing himself for thinking too soon.

"James, stop it!" Lily laughed as James chased her around the shop throwing a Fanged Frisbee at her. "You'll break something!"

Barely a second later, a loud crash resonated through the shop. The Frisbee had crashed into one of the displays of dungbombs as they went flying through the room, customers ducking to avoid the smelly packages.

"Excuse me." An angry sounding voice spoke from behind Lily. Whirling around, she found herself face to face with an unpleasant looking woman.

"Were you responsible for the destruction of that display over there?" The angry looking shop assistant asked.

"Err…." Lily looked over at James quickly.

"That was a destruction of property and you will be charged for the damage and the inconvenience to the shop." The shop assistant said curtly.

"But…I can't –" Lily stammered.

"The total cost will amount to 52 galleons and 7 sickles." The assistant peered at her sternly as if daring her to argue.

Lily looked shocked. "But I don't have that much money!" She exclaimed.

The shop assistant's face hardened but there was a spark of malicious glee in her eyes. "Then I will have no choice but to press charges." A gleeful smirk crossed the woman's unpleasant features.

"What? You can't –" A scared look passed through Lily's eyes and she stared at the assistant.

"The Ministry of Magic will –" The nasty assistant broke off.

"It wasn't her fault. Here's the money." James said roughly while shoving a heavy bag of gold coins at the startled assistant.

"Sir, I'm afraid –" The assistant's words were drowned out by the wind as James took Lily's hand and led her outside.

Once on the sidewalk, Lily still couldn't bring herself to speak. She had nearly been carted off by Ministry officials and charged with damage to private property.

"Lily, I'm so sorry, that was all my fault." James said in a rush. He knew what was coming next.

"I'll save you from saying it Lily. This whole thing was a disaster." James hung his head and a wave of despair washed over him. This was it.

"What are you talking about James?" Lily said, finally finding her voice and looking confused.

"You're breaking up with me." James couldn't look at her. It was too painful. "I understand. Everything that could possibly go wrong today did go wrong. I'm just not cut out to be your boyfriend. You're too good for me."

With his last shred of dignity, James turned away and walked off. Lily stood in shock, staring after his retreating figure.

"James!" Lily called, chasing after him. "What are you going on about? I'm not breaking up with you!"

James continued to stare at the ground. "Lily, I can't be the guy you deserve. I tried so hard today and it turned into a complete mess. First Snape, then the chair, then I spilt burning tea all over you, I took you to a place you detested and then, as if all of that wasn't enough, I nearly had you charged and fined in a shop!"

"James. Do not even try and give me that self pity." Lily said sternly, not at all impressed by his tirade.

James managed to pull his eyes up from the ground to look at her. To be honest, he'd kind of been expecting a little more sympathy, maybe a long passionate kiss if he was lucky followed by a declaration of how much she loved him and how she would die without him by her side. Well, maybe not, but he had at least expected her to protest just a little bit.

Not that he hadn't thought she was going to break up with him. He had, in the beginning. But…he'd also kind of thought, okay hoped, that she would fall into his arms and beg him to never leave her. Or something like that at least. Something a little more encouraging than the look she was giving him now.

"And that whole thing about me being too good for you is a load of rubbish!" Lily continued.

Her voice softened. "You tried, and that's all that matters. Anyone could see that you did the best you could to try and make this date perfect, and that means more to me than anything. But just be yourself James. I fell for you because you are just you. Don't try and change to impress me because you already have." With that, Lily leant up and kissed James quickly on the lips.

James was almost as shocked as he had been the first time she had done the same thing. Shocked in a very _very_ good way. This was more like it, James thought happily as he kissed her firmly back. His earlier thoughts, okay hopes, hadn't been so farfetched after all.

"So, we're okay?" James asked when she pulled away.

"More than okay." Lily smiled and James felt his heart fill with happiness.

Lily truly was an extraordinary girl. One in a million. She didn't expect him to be anything and after the world's worst date in history, she could still make him feel like the luckiest, happiest guy in the world. She liked him for him. Well, after he had grown up a little. She hadn't been too keen on him two years ago. But Lily hadn't known James then.

"Just no more sulking." James laughed and promised he wouldn't sulk anymore. "Or pity quests." James nodded. "And definitely no more idiotic ideas like me breaking up with you over a date." James nodded again and Lily smiled.

"You had me scared for a second there." She said quietly, not quite meeting his eyes.

James was shocked to say the least. "You were scared?" He asked, as if he didn't quite understand. Lily nodded. "I didn't know you were scared of anything!" He grinned mischievously and Lily felt a grin spread across her own face.

"There's a lot you don't know about me James Potter." Lily replied.

"Were you really scared?" James asked again after neither of them spoke.

Lily got that slightly shy look back again. He loved that looked. It was the only time he saw her looking vulnerable. It made a nice change from her red face, boiling with anger as she yelled herself hoarse at him. He didn't love that so much.

Lily nodded. "I thought you were trying to break up with me but didn't want to hurt my feelings so pretended like you thought that was what I'd wanted."

James raised his eyebrows in curiosity. "Who would do that?"

"You'd be surprised." Lily looked with a slightly sour look. James was about to question her but thought better of it.

"Well, just for the record," James began, "I was bloody petrified that you were going to break up with me."

"Has that even ever happened to you James?" Lily asked dryly.

"Well, um, no." James looked sheepish. "I can understand where you're coming from though. Who in their right mind would break up with the great, the handsome, the funny, the completely amazing James Potter?" He grinned cockily and Lily laughed.

"But," James looked more seriously at her and Lily felt her tummy squirm pleasantly at his intense hazel gaze. "You're not like anybody else I've ever known." He pressed his lips to hers softly and Lily felt like her legs had turned to jelly.

Breaking away for air, Lily leant against the wall, a happy grin covering her face. James looked happier, and far more relaxed than he had all day.

"Just answer this honestly," James began after a short pause. He didn't want to ruin the moment… "But was that the worst date you've ever been on?" James tried not to show his worry.

"James." Lily said exasperatedly. "It's the _only_ date I've ever been on."

James rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean. Did you really hate it that much?"

Lily looked uncomfortable. "Well…er…no."

"You did didn't you?" James said with a sad sigh. "You're just trying to be nice."

"Okay, well maybe I am." Lily said a little reluctantly. "I didn't _hate_ it, but I can't say much for your taste in tea shops."

James made a face. "You think _I_ like that place?" He asked incredulously. "I hate it. But I thought _you_ would like it."

"Well, if not for Madame Puddifoot's the date would have been perfect, if you weren't so damn nervous all the time."

"Was I that obvious?" James asked sheepishly.

"Just a little." Lily said comfortingly with a small smile. "I think the chair, and the tea and the constant wiping your hands might have given it a way."

Taking James' hand gently, Lily smiled as they began to walk. Without quite knowing, or caring, where they were going, James and Lily found themselves back by the oak front doors of Hogwarts Castle.

"Now, what have you planned for the next part of our date Mr Potter?" Lily asked with a small smile. James grinned back.

"I think I may have some ideas."

Up they went, walking in silence, their hands still entwined. Finally, they came to a rest outside a door.

"Ladies first." James held open the door for Lily, a wicked grin plastered to his handsome face as he followed her and closed the door tightly behind them.

James took back everything he had ever said. What had started out as a disaster had ended perfectly. But really, what couldn't an hour or so in a broom cupboard fix?


	21. A Very Bad Day

**Thanks to the reviewers: laxrules18, szabatka2, american nymphadora, xo-MidnightSun-ox, messyblackhair66, STonks, Michela.77, Emotionalized (thank you so much! Your review was really nice and I'm so happy that you liked it so much), chickibabe46 (thank you for the great review! It made me smile to know you have enjoyed it so much).**

**Sorry again for the long wait between updates. I could make up some amazing excuse which none of you will probably believe, or I could just stick with the truth which is that I've been a slacker and haven't gotten around to writing. **

**This chapter kind of goes more into the friends (sorry Emotionalized, again it tends to revolve around Lily's friends a bit more but I will try to put in more of the Marauders. They are awesome characters but sadly, I don't think my writing skills give them the credit they deserve, but still… I'll try) rather than Lily and James, but it does come back to them again later.**

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**Ch 21: A Very Bad Day**

"I had my first ever snog in a broom cupboard!" Lily proudly announced to her friends later that evening.

"Lily Evans, did I just hear you correctly?" Marly gasped with a fake start of surprise.

"Congratulations Lil, you have now continued to carry on a Hogwarts tradition." Natalie smiled.

"What was it like?" Clara asked interestedly.

Lily scrunched up her nose. "Well, to be honest, it wasn't anywhere near as good as everyone proclaims it to be. I mean, it's bloody uncomfortable in there. It's all dark and squishy and I had a stupid broom digging into my back the whole time." Her friends nodded understandingly.

"It's true," Clara, who by far had the most experience, agreed knowingly, "it's not all it's cracked up to be. But still, it's a tradition at Hogwarts. You just haven't lived if you leave Hogwarts without a single snog in a broom cupboard." The others all nodded and Lily felt a new sense of belonging.

"So, which one did James take you to?" Clara asked. Lily looked surprised at the question.

"Who said anything about it being with James?" Lily said raising her eybrows. A collective gasp could be heard around the room.

"I'm joking, I'm joking!" Lily giggled at the appalled and shocked expressions on her friends faces. "It was the one on the sixth floor by the portrait of that witch in the blue gown who sings all the time." She answered with a confused shake of her head.

Clara nodded approvingly. "Well, the guy has taste, I'll give him that. He must like you a lot." The others laughed loudly. Only Clara would care what broom closet a guy took a girl to and use it to judge how much he liked her from it.

"What about you Marly? What's going on between you and that guy I've seen you hanging around recently?"

To everyone's shock, Marly blushed. If it had been Lily, no one would have blinked an eye. But Marly never blushed. Marly was the girl who would stand up for herself no matter what. The girl who, after being yelled at for 'talking at an inappropriate time' and asked sneeringly if she was embarrassed now in front of all her friends, declared loudly that she did not in fact get embarrassed. The said class had roared with laughter and the sour faced professor had awarded her a detention for her 'cheek.' It had just been a stroke of luck that the highly unpopular DADA professor was in no condition to teach the next year, without putting too fine a point on it.

"I… uh… met someone." Marly said in an uncharacteristically soft voice only serving to make Clara, Natalie and Lily peer closely at her as if wondering whether she was running a fever.

"I hadn't figured that out." Natalie replied sarcastically. But to even further surprise she didn't receive the usual glare or sarcastic, witty reply from Marly.

"I… uh… think I really… uh… like him." Marly mumbled uncomfortably.

The next sarcastic remark, humorous taunt was also wasted on Marly. While deeply fascinated, Lily was a little put out that Marly hadn't mentioned anything to her about some new guy. I mean, they told each other everything, right?

Feeling bad, Lily realised that it was probably her own fault. She'd been too wrapped up in her own problems, dramas and James to have noticed anything different about Marly.

"Maybe love him." Marly spoke in barely a whisper yet no one in the room missed a word. They all stood stock still, not quite sure if they heard right yet knowing that they did. Did Marly just say –

"You love him?" Lily asked in shock. Like, maybe. But love? Love was big, huge, enormous, gigantic… Marly didn't fall in love without even telling her best friend.

"How long has this been going on for?" Natalie asked without her usual demanding tone. She wasn't the only one to have noticed the generally weird atmosphere of the room.

"About two weeks I guess."

Lily's mind was reeling. Nor was hers the only one. No one can fall in love in two weeks! It's impossible, absurd.

"Are you sure it's love?" Clara asked with unusual cautiousness.

There was far too much unusualness for Lily's liking. Lily didn't like change. Well, some change was okay, but not big, surprising changes that… well… changed everything. And there was far too much change and unusualness and weirdness in the room at the current time. Marly was blushing and being shy and not answering back. Natalie was being polite and completely not-overbearing while Clara was being cautious and thoughtful.

Suddenly realising the absence of something important, Lily asked the question that would change a lot. The question everyone was dying to ask but weren't sure they would like the answer of.

"Who is he?" The room was loaded with anticipation and Marly avoided the gaze of her friends.

"Will Rutgers." A shocked silence filled the room.

"What?! Isn't he –" Clara gasped.

"A Slytherin?" Natalie roared. Slightly regretting her earlier dislike of weirdness, right now, Lily would have preferred any amount of weirdness to Natalie's temper.

"Marly, how could you?" Natalie yelled angrily. Neither Lily nor Clara particularly liked Slytherins much, but few were tolerable some even enough to be considered almost human. But Natalie hated them. Almost it seemed, as much as Sirius Black and James Potter.

"They're not all that bad." Marly said as defensively as she could manage yet her voice still sounded feeble.

"Yes, yes they are. They are sly, cunning, manipulative, lying, untrustworthy, evil, slimy scum not even worthy enough to be stick to the sole of my shoe." Cried Natalie.

"Professor Slughorn's alright and he's Head of Slytherin." Marly said meekly.

Natalie ignored her and continued to rant and rave. However, after a while it all came too much.

"Enough." Lily said with a strength that startled Natalie, just for a second. "Leave her alone now. You've made you're point now just let her be."

To be honest, Lily did not like the idea of Marly seeing a Slytherin one little bit. But one look at Marly's face and she looked close to tears, not a regular occurrence by any means. She would save her own opinions on the matter for later. Right now, Marly had had enough of a roasting by Natalie.

So, it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that the atmosphere of the seventh year girls dormitory was a tense one that evening. Marly was unusually subdued (more of the weirdness that Lily didn't like), Clara seemed to be in too much shock to say much (Clara had dated more people than one could count yet not even she had gone near a Slytherin) and thankfully for everyone Natalie didn't feel the need to share any more of her opinions and wandered around shooting narky looks at everything she passed. Lily escaped to the library to try and, unsuccessfully, shake off the strange feeling that seemed to be hanging around her. Yet it wouldn't leave and Lily too was left in a slightly less than happy mood.

---

"So…" Lily said awkwardly as her and Marly walked to breakfast the next morning. Natalie had left the dorm early without a word to anyone and Clara always took the longest in the shower and was far from ready.

Marly stayed silent and Lily felt more uncomfortable. She hated awkward silences. They were so… awkward. Even more, Lily hated mistranslating normal silences into awkward silences, saying something awkward in an attempt to break the awkward silence only to realise that it had indeed been a normal silence which was now awkward because neither party knew how to act. Did that even make any sense?

"Did you do your herbology assignment?" Lily asked at another stab at conversation. Had she really just asked about school work with Marly? Her best friend, the one she never ran out of things to talk about with, the one who she could always count on to never have a silence, let alone an awkward one, or even worse a normal silence that then turned awkward. What was happening?

"Not yet." Marly said. No expanding. No trying to make conversation. No laugh at Lily. No light hearted joke. No gossip. No nothing.

"Right." Lily said back. They continued their walk to the Great Hall in silence. And there was no doubt about it. It was awkward.

"Are you okay Lily?" James asked worriedly as Lily sat down next to him at breakfast. Lily didn't normally sit next to James at meals or in classes for that matter. Not because she didn't want to, but she didn't want everything to change just because she had a boyfriend. She didn't want to suddenly move away from her friends like she had a better offer now.

But this morning she did sit next to James. Lily didn't know why things had suddenly changed that morning. To be honest, she hadn't even thought about it until she sat down. Marly's blank look didn't give away if she'd even noticed, or cared.

Lily gave a casual shrug to indicate that she was fine yet it went far from convincing James. Still, he didn't push her not wanting to be on the receiving end of her anger again. He also felt kind of weirded out that Lily was sitting next to him at breakfast. Not that he minded in the least. It had more to do with the lost look she had on her face. Like she didn't quite know where she was or what was happening.

"Ready to go?" James asked softly. Lily nodded without looking up and stood. She glanced quickly at Marly who appeared to be deep in conversation with Clara who had now joined the table before following James.

The seats that had become something like tradition to sit in were now in a mess. Natalie had moved away from where she normally sat with Clara, Lily and Marly in favour of a group of Ravenclaws. James and Sirius were still refusing to talk to each other. Clara and Marly seemed to be constantly in deep conversation and Lily was left in a pickle. It was like a repeat of first year when everyone was claiming their seats for the first time. Where did she sit?

So, by some chance that had nothing to do with either of them, Lily and James found themselves sitting next to each other, not only at breakfast, but in all their classes too. And again, neither of them minded, but it was still weird. Lily felt so completely lost without Marly sitting next to her, passing her notes and generally lighting up the dull atmosphere.

_Why am I obsessing over this?_ Lily asked herself silently as she stared around the room, oblivious to what Professor Slughorn was teaching. _Why am I worrying over something as trivial as seats?_ But it was more than that. It wasn't just the seats, it was the hidden meaning behind the seats. It was the absence of her best friend, the awkwardness that seemed to have come out of nowhere and settled itself comfortably into their relationship.

"…and Miss Evans." Startled, Lily looked up at the mention of her name. She hadn't been listening to a word Professor Slughorn had been saying.

"It there a problem Miss Evans?" Professor Slughorn turned and looked at her curiously.

"Umm, no." Lily mumbled as her cheeks burned. This wasn't like her. This wasn't like her at all.

James watched her curiously as Lily stared around the room utterly lost, confused, like a child separated from their mother in a shop.

"We're about to practise antidotes again." James whispered to her. "He just put us into partners. You're with Sirius." His face tightened slightly but he otherwise gave no indication of the rift between him and Sirius.

If things had been normal, James would have jumped at the opportunity to tease Lily about the one time she didn't pay attention. But things weren't normal. She looked so helpless and confused that he just didn't have the heart to tease her, even in a friendly way.

"Thanks." Lily whispered back as she gathered her books and moved to sit next to a surly looking Sirius. She'd never seen Sirius as grumpy as she had over the last few days. His usually light overenthusiastic manner was more than just dampened and his frown had recently become a more permanent fixture to his handsome face.

"I'll just go get the ingredients, shall I?" Lily asked. Sirius did little more than grunt in response and continued to stare stonily at the table.

Lily was confused. Not that she knew him that well, but this certainly wasn't the Sirius she was familiar with. Casting her mind back, she remembered the stiffness between him and James over the past weeks. They weren't still fighting were they?

The lesson seemed to drag on forever and for once, Lily was incredibly thankful for the bell to ring. Her potion was far too gluggy and not at all up to her usual standards. Sirius had contributed exactly nothing the whole lesson and had been surly and unpleasant whenever he spoke to her.

"Hey James." Lily called out as they all filed out the door. He paused and waited for her to catch up. "You and Sirius aren't still fighting are you?"

A surly look, similar to the one Sirius had been wearing all lesson, passed across James face. "He's being a prat." James replied huffily. Lily raised her eyebrows.

"What was the fight about anyway?"

"Nothing." James said shortly, not meeting her eyes.

"Well, if it's nothing then I think you should make it up with him. He's clearly as down as you are about it." Lily said.

"You don't know what you're talking about. Just drop it." James replied irritably. Lily looked shocked at his outburst.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean –" Lily stuttered, but he was already gone.

Feeling hurt, even more confusing and in an even worse mood than she was, Lily walked down to lunch slowly. _It's the pressure of NEWTs._ Lily told herself firmly. _That's what is bothering everyone at the moment. We're all stressed out and irritable, don't take it personally._ But even as she told herself this, the pang of hurt was still there.

---

Lily didn't really feel very hungry, so she spent her lunch hour in the library. The quiet relaxed her as she pulled out her book from her bag. Halfway through the first page, a soft giggle nearby interrupted her concentration. _That sounds like Marly._ Lily thought in surprise. Why was Marly here? She hated the library.

In curiosity, Lily walked around the book shelves to investigate the source of the noise. And spot on, there was Marly, hidden at the back of one of the stands. At first Lily didn't notice the second person with her.

"Marly?" Lily asked. Her friend's head shot up.

"Oh, hi Lily. What are you doing?" Marly said between giggles. Lily's brow furrowed. She couldn't really see what was so funny. Then she noticed the shadow of another figure next to Marly. Clearly, she had walked in on something.

"Oh, right, sorry to interrupt." Lily said hastily, her face growing hot.

Marly shrugged. "Will, this is Lily. Lily, Will." The figure emerged from the stands and moved closer to Lily.

He was tall, very tall, with dark hair and eyes. From a distance, Lily supposed he could be considered attractive.

Five minutes of stilted conversation later, Lily could not honestly day that she liked him at all. He was exceedingly arrogant and clearly thought himself to be far above everyone else. Despite Marly being there, he talked as if she was so lucky to have him, like he was better than her. Marly, of course was completely oblivious.

"Well, nice to meet you." He was dismissing her. Taking the hint, Lily left abruptly.

Once outside the library, Lily leaned against the wall. What did Marly see in him? Sure he was okay looking. But other than that, Lily couldn't see what else he had going for him. He was arrogant and pompous. Lily knew she used to say that about James too, but it was completely different. James was infuriating because he was a show off and all too aware of his many talents. But Will, it was his sneaky arrogance that got her. The self-importance behind the polite words and impassive face.

His words were polite but their meaning was entirely different. He was an actor. Everything about him seemed false. His polite exterior masked his ulterior motives. For Lily was sure there was more to him than met the eye. More to him than Marly saw.

But most of all, it was his eyes that struck Lily. They were so cold, so unfeeling, so dead. It was like looking into the eyes of a corpse. They held no emotion whatsoever. Blank as a cold cement wall.

And still, there was something else. Something that Lily couldn't quite put a name to. But it made an unpleasant chill down Lily's spine, an uneasy feeling occur in the pit of her stomach.

---

"What did you think of him?" Marly asked when she caught up with Lily that evening.

"Well…" Lily swallowed. Marly was her best friend. They always swore they would be honest with each other. But did she really want to spoil the happy glow that Marly seemed to have acquired?

"You don't think there's something…well…creepy about him?" Lily asked carefully.

"Creepy?" Marly laughed. "Hardly. Don't you like him?" She watched Lily carefully, monitoring her reaction.

"Umm…"

"You don't. I can tell." Marly seemed to deflate a bit and Lily felt terrible.

"No, it's not that. I'm sure he's really nice… I just don't get a good feeling from him. He seems really… arrogant."

Marly scoffed. "You used to say that about James too, and look what happened there."

Lily had thought about that earlier too. But it was different. "And he's really cold."

Marly looked surprised. "Not at all. He's so sweet and caring. He always tells me how gorgeous I am and brings me presents." Marly seemed to disappear back into her happy little world.

"Just be careful Marly. There's more to him than meets the eye. I just don't want you to get hurt." Lily said eventually.

"You don't know him like I do. You just don't like him because he's a Slytherin." Marly said sounding slightly accusatory.

Lily felt stung. How could Marly say that? Whether he was Slytherin or not, she would feel exactly the same way about him.

"No –" But Marly wasn't listening. She simply walked away, leaving a dumbfounded and hurt Lily behind her.

---

"Could you please pass the pumpkin juice?" Lily asked Sirius who had just placed it down beside him.

Sirius scowled. Picking up the jug he thrust it at her roughly, causing the bright orange liquid to spill over her lap.

Remus, who was sitting on the other side of the table, glared warningly at Sirius who shrugged.

"Thanks." Lily said with a forced smile.

James and Sirius had a fight over me. Lily thought suddenly. She didn't know why it had just occurred to her but now, she realised that she had been stupid to have missed all the signs. That must be why Sirius was so nasty to her at the moment and why James was so touchy about the whole thing. Sirius must have said something bad about her and that's why James was so angry.

But why doesn't he like me? Lily thought. She didn't mean to sound full of herself, in a way that said 'who could possibly not like me?' She just didn't understand. Lily didn't profess to know Sirius really well, but they had gotten on pretty well at Christmas. Why did he suddenly not like her now?

In an attempt to try and prove to Sirius that she wasn't all that bad, she made a stab at friendly conversation.

"How's quidditch going?" She asked amicably. Sirius loved quidditch almost as much as James did and was also on the Gryffindor team.

"Fine." Sirius replied shortly. Lily tried again.

"When's the next match again?"

"Why don't you ask you're boyfriend?" Sirius said nastily. Lily felt that all too familiar pang of hurt again. It definitely seemed to be appearing more than usual today.

And worse than that, Lily could begin to feel tears prickling in the corners of her eyes. She was sick of everyone sniping at her. What had she done wrong? First things had been awkward and distant with Marly which had been bad enough, then James had snapped at her 9she still hadn't seen him since), then the argument with Marly and now Sirius.

Getting up from the table quickly, Lily left the Great Hall leaving her plate of food virtually untouched. _She wasn't going to cry._ She told herself firmly as she walked briskly to the common room.

Lying on her bed in the empty dormitory minutes later, Lily felt terrible. This had certainly been one shitty day.

Closing her eyes, Lily let her mind wander. 'Things always seem better in the morning', her mother had always used to say to her. And with that one last thought, Lily drifted into sleep, hoping that her mother was right. Things would be better tomorrow.

---

**Please review! I'm hoping to reach 100 reviews so please make my wish come true and leave a very much appreciated and well received review! Thanks :-)**


	22. Grapevine

**OMG! I love all of you reviewers so much! 15 of them since the last update! And you made it well past 100! You do realise you've set yourselves a standard now don't you (wink wink nudge nudge) :-) As I do every chapter, thanks so much to my reviewers: browneyez, american nymphadora, tm7, chickibabe46, messyblackhair66, appleali, xo-MidnightSun-ox, amanamanam, Deedsla, queenshinkokami, Michela.77, Amenti, Emotionalised, laxrules18 and AuthoressMegz. Messyblackhair66 deserves some special recognition for being my 100th reviewer.**

**For anyone that was confused about last chapter, Lily was just having a bad day. Sometimes you just have those days where everything seems to go wrong. People were snapping at her because they were just in a bad mood and lashing out at anyone, as we all do sometimes. Lily just happened to suffer everyone's bad mood in one day. **

**Marly is completely love struck and beyond common sense. It happens to those we least expect and she won't hear a word against what she wants to believe. No one said it was rational, but it happens and unfortunately for Lily, she gets to wear Marly's hostility for the meantime. Hopefully this chapter will clear up some other questions.**

**Just for the record, I try and update as soon as possible. Sometimes that's in 3 days sometimes in 2 weeks. I don't think I've left an update for longer than 2 weeks and I do try and update weekly, but as you know that doesn't always happen.**

**---**

**Ch 22: Grapevine**

But things weren't better the next day. Nor did they improve at all that week. Somehow (through Natalie Lily suspected, not that she said as much) rumours about Marly whispered through the halls of Hogwarts, turning heads as the stories grew further and further from the truth.

James had apologised but Lily barely had time to register it. Usually she would have made a fuss, kicked up a tantrum or left him to suffer for a while. But this week, Lily just did not have the energy.

Lily had repeatedly tried to be friendly to Sirius (he and James still hadn't made up) but to no avail. He seemed to get edgier and nastier each time she tried to start up a friendly conversation so she soon gave up.

Marly grew more and more distant. Despite the rumours and the disapproval from all her friends (and everyone else in the school for that matter), Marly continued to fawn over Will. It was almost sickening to listen to and Lily desperately hoped that she hadn't been anything like that when she had started going out with James.

"Is it true?" James had demanded once the Marly rumours had gotten out.

"Is what true?" Lily asked wearily as she picked at her breakfast.

"That Marly is going out with a Slytherin. Some slimy piece of scum called Will Rutgers."

Lily looked surprised. She had not heard the buzzing yet and was surprised that James had found out. Not that it was a secret or anything.

"Umm, yeah." Lily said a little hesitantly. She was all too aware of James' feeling towards the Slytherins.

"What on earth is she thinking?" James said angrily. "The Slytherins are scum. I'm going to go and talk some sense into her." He made a move to stand but Lily pulled him down.

"No you won't." He looked at her in surprise. "It's got nothing to do with you." Lily said simply.

"Are you saying you're okay with this?" James asked incredulously.

"I'm not saying anything. It's not my business either. She can do as she pleases." Lily said emotionlessly.

James just stared at her dumbstruck. "Lily, she's you're best friend. How can you just let her do something like this?"

"It's not up to me to 'let her do things'. She makes her own decisions. And her own mistakes. I can't tell her what to do." Lily said reasonably.

"And you don't feel in the slightest bit that you should try and talk your best friend out of making a terrible mistake? You're just going to sit by and watch it happen." James was looking at her as if he's never seen her before. He looked almost, disgusted with her. "Well if you won't talk to her, then I will." He pulled his arm from Lily's loose grip and moved to stand up again.

"There's no point. She won't listen." Lily said quietly. James stopped.

"What do you mean? We've become friends, she'll listen to me."

Lily shook her head sadly. "James, you are not the first nor will you be the last to try and talk some sense into her. It won't work. She is completely manipulated by this guy."

James sat back down. "What do you mean?"

A soft sigh escaped Lily. "I've tried. She won't hear a bad word against him. Even from me. Marly has ignored every warning and every disapproval so far. I doubt she's going to start listening to any now." Lily felt her throat constrict slightly as she spoke. James seemed to notice her hurt, for when he spoke, his voice was as gentle as she'd ever heard it.

"I'm sorry Lil. I didn't mean to get cross." He kissed her lightly on the forehead and for once, Lily didn't blush at the public display of affection.

"It's okay." She offered a small smile. "What have you heard about Will Rutgers?" She asked after a short pause, debating whether or not to ask, whether or not she really wanted to know.

The change on James' face was instantaneous. His gentle look hardened immediately and his mouth curved into a small frown.

"That guy is bad news. He's evil." The venom in his voice chilled Lily to the bone. "Before they graduated he hung out with a group of Slytherins who I'll bet joined Voldemort as soon as they were out of this school, before even." Lily looked shocked but didn't interrupt.

"Are you sure?" Lily asked in barely more than a whisper. Her blood had frozen in her veins and fear filled every inch of her.

James nodded gravely. "Positive. I'll place my bets that he's part of the ranks too. He's just smarter than some of the others and doesn't openly show his allegiance. He's like the secret weapon, the hidden spy."

"How do you know all of this?" Lily's eyes looked at him widely.

"I'm a Marauder. I have my ways." Was all he said. Lily opened her mouth to argue but he turned away. It wasn't an annoyed or nasty turn away. But it was clear that he wasn't going to tell, no matter how much she pushed him.

---

"Hey, you know that seventh year Gryffindor? Mary or something, tall with curly hair? Yea her. I heard she's going out with a Slytherin! Can you believe it?"

"It's disgusting. Will Rutgers I heard."

"I've heard of him! Nasty bugger. She's a disgrace to the house. Betrayal I say."

"I used to like her. Always had a great wardrobe she did. Good fashion sense. Pretty too. She could have anyone, why him?"

"She's obviously really desperate!"

"Is that a hicky I saw? Yuk, that's gross. From a _Slytherin_!"

"Someone said she's turned into a real bitch since she's been seeing him. I quite believe it."

"What about the Head Girl. They're best friends I thought? She looks sad lately. Maybe they had a fight."

"Nah, I heard she had a fight with James. Are they broken up?"

"Yea, I heard a seventh year whispering that they're not friends anymore either. Apparently Marly cheated with James before getting together with this Slytherin. Lily found out. Do you think it's true?"

"Must be, if a seventh year said it."

"That slut! I can't believe she's a Gryffindor. Cheating with her best friend's boyfriend and hooking up with a Slytherin. That's low."

Whispers were carried at an alarming rate through the corridors. What was worse was the small amount of truth, if any, that most of them carried. Barely a conversation amongst the Hogwarts students was heard without a single mention of Marly's latest relationship, which somehow moved onto Lily, to James, to the Marauders to…

By lunchtime it was all over the school that not only Marly was dating a Slytherin but her and Lily were now sworn enemies, Lily and James were no more, Marly had cheated with James, Will was apparently planning to beat James to pulp for getting it off with his girlfriend, the Marauders were splitting up, Lily was mentally unstable from all the emotion trauma she had suffered this year and

No one at all seemed to care that most of this had absolutely no truth behind it. It was getting too much for Lily who had been hounded all day for 'insider's information' on every matter until everyone suddenly backed off when the story of her 'mental instability' came out.

"Lily, what's going on?" Asked James at lunch.

"I don't know." Lily said tearfully. "Everyone is spilling out all this crap. I don't even know where it all came from."

It was bad enough that the whole school (especially her fellow Gryffindors) were bad mouthing Marly to no end for dating a Slytherin, but why did they have to drag Lily into it?

"What have you heard?" Lily asked cautiously. She wasn't sure she really wanted to know.

"Well, apart from everyone dissing Marly, some absurd rumour that I cheated on you with Marly." James said angrily.

A worried frown crossed Lily's face. She had hoped that one hadn't passed through the whole school.

"You don't actually believe it do you?" James asked disbelievingly, watching her expression carefully.

"No, of course not." Lily said quickly. She didn't believe a word of it. She trusted James.

"Lily, you do know that I would never do anything like that. Ever. I love you too much." James said urgently. He didn't know why it seemed so important for her to know this, but it did.

"I know." Lily nodded.

James wrapped his arms around her and kissed her lips tenderly. Lily felt herself relax into his arms and for the first time in over a week she felt calm.

"Hey!" Someone yelled behind them, pointing in interest. A crowd of gossip-hungry students peered at them and whispers began again.

"I guess they made up. Oi, are you guys back on or what?" Another person yelled.

James looked over in growing anger, his arm still protectively around Lily.

"Bugger off all of you." He said loudly. "And mind your own business. If I hear one more whisper about Lily I'll find out where it came from, and believe me I will, and you will sorry. Don't mess with a Marauder." James added threateningly.

Any other day, Lily would have reprimanded James for threatening younger students, but today she was too grateful.

"Thanks." She said softly.

"You okay?" James brushed a strand of fiery red hair off her face. "Better get to class now, you don't want to be late." Lily couldn't help but smile.

---

The gossip surrounding Lily settled down considerably since James' threat. The Marauders were held in such awe that no one, apart from the odd Slytherin like Snape who appeared to have little more than cotton wool between his ears, would dare get on their bad side. Some people sprouted off threats with no intention of ever following them through. With the Marauders, no one doubted them. They were a bunch of the cleverest, mischievous, sneakiest wizards in the school.

The harsh rumours continued to spread (minus the ones concerning Lily) despite Lily's best attempts to squash them down, despite her repeated defence of her friend. People simply didn't want to hear the non-scandalous side more commonly known as the truth. They seemed to live for the juicy gossip and tall stories that were so ridiculous that everyone believed them.

Marly seemed to take everything in her stride. There was no doubt that she knew every whisper of gossip that followed her yet she laughed it off casually. But Lily could see through her. The black picture people were painting of her was getting to her, under the surface. Her smile was fake, her casual manner that bit too careless to be believable.

Lily badly wanted to hug her friend, tell her it was okay, comfort her as she had done for Lily more times than she could count. But Marly was as casual and fake with Lily as she was with everyone else. She wouldn't let anyone, not even Lily, know how much it really bothered her. How much she just wanted to hide in her dorm and escape all the cruel words people didn't even bother to try and whisper in her presence.

---

It was well past dinner and Lily was roaming the castle. She walked into the crowded common room. Lily really needed to speak to James but he was no where to be found. Scanning the room quickly her heart sank again as she realised he wasn't here either. Nor were the other Marauders for that matter which only caused to increase Lily agitation.

As her eyes scanned the room anxiously again she spotted Sirius walking towards the portrait hole. With raised hopes her eyes whizzed over the students again. If Sirius was here maybe Remus, or even Peter would be around. To no avail. Sirius seemed to be the only Marauder she had seen in the last hour.

With resignation, Lily hurried to the portrait hole to catch Sirius. He may not have been her first choice but she really needed to see James and right now he was her only option. Lily hastily made her way down the corridor when finally Sirius came back into view.

"Excuse me, do you know where James is?" Lily asked politely when she had caught up to him.

He turned slowly, his expression looking as hostile as ever.

"I'm not his keeper. Why should I know where he is?" Sirius said brusquely as he turned away from her. That snapped Lily's last nerve.

"Alright Sirius. I'm sick of this. Just what is your problem with me?" Sirius looked surprised at the evident anger in her voice.

"I have been nothing but civil and friendly towards you and you can't even be polite enough to return the favour. I don't know what I've done to make you dislike me if you would care to enlighten me." Lily continued.

Frazzled, she roughly tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear and stood watching him with her hands placed angrily on her hips. Sirius seemed to return to his sullen mood and simply shrugged noncommittally.

"I'm not an idiot either. I know that the fight you had with James has something to do with me and that has something to with why you're so nasty all the time to me. Can you just tell me what I've done to offend you so that we can all move on? It is really worth fighting with James over?"

"You really think a lot of yourself don't you?" Sirius said nastily. Lily looked taken aback at his harsh words. "You think that everything revolves around you. Well for your information Evans, it doesn't. Maybe you should just mind your own business and stop butting in when your help isn't wanted." Sirius spat. Lily's mouth was open in shock, however, she recovered quickly and her anger returned.

"You're just an arrogant, proud, pig-headed jerk. Look, I don't care if you don't like me because I've tried to be nice and frankly, it's your problem now not mine. And don't think that I'm doing this because I feel a strong sense of liking towards you, which I don't, or for myself. I'm doing this for James. Because even though you're fighting because you're both to proud to apologise, you're still his best mate. He's been as down as you lately and I hate to see him like that."

"And just in case this means anything to you, I would never try and do anything to come between the Marauders. I'm not trying to take your place or turn James into a rule-abiding, conscientious student." Sirius looked slightly guilty but Lily ploughed on.

"I don't want things to change between you and him and I don't want to get in your way. And I think even you would agree that I just want James to be happy. And he's not happy without his friends. The Marauders mean everything to James and so do you." Lily finished her rant to find Sirius looking down at the floor.

He didn't speak for a while and Lily just watched him in interest. Finally he looked up.

"I don't do apologies very well." He began awkwardly. Lily was so surprised. She had never seen Sirius look remotely awkward in his life. He seemed to handle ever situation with casual indifference and humour as if nothing in the world could faze him.

"I was angry and jealous and so I took it out on you. I was wrong. You're one of the best things that have happened to James. He's lucky to have you. And he wouldn't be happy without you." The words seemed to cost him every ounce of everything he had to say.

"Thank you." Lily whispered. Her voice seemed to have deserted her slightly and it was the best she could manage. "But you don't need to explain yourself to me. Save that for James."

As if his ears were burning, James rounded the corner of the corridor.

"Lily –" He began happily when he spotted her but he stopped when he noticed Sirius. His face closed off and he radiated hostility.

"James –" Sirius began awkwardly but James cut him off.

"I have nothing to say to you." He said harshly. Lily walked up to him and put her hand on his shoulder soothingly.

"Just listen to him. You might learn something." She said quietly.

She leaned up and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Don't let your pride get in the way of something important to you." She whispered.

And with those words she walked away. She would leave them to it. Despite all their hostility she knew they would work it out. Lily had no idea of all the things the Marauders had gone through for each other, no matter the risks. But she could understand the bond of friendship they shared, the importance they all had for each other. The very thing that made them the Marauders.

As she walked she pondered how one little thing, so tiny and insignificant could cause so much damage. How some tiny, insignificant thing could tear people apart. This is what Voldemort feeds on, she thought. This is where he gets his power, from those small faults in human nature. The pride that hold people back from the things and people they care about most.

Things may not have gone her way that day. Her own life may be in a mess, her own friendships tearing slowly at the seams but she knew it would all work out. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even next week. But true friendships don't crumble away that easily. There are ups and downs and everyone deals with them in their own way but when they need each other most, they're there for each other.

Marly would come to her senses. Natalie would learn to see the grey areas, not just the black and white. Lily would be there to pick up the pieces, to forgive and forget. And even if her own light wasn't shining all that brightly, at least she might have made someone else's glow that little bit brighter. Made someone she cared so much about just that little bit happier. And that in itself made her light glow that little bit brighter too.

---

**I hope this chapter made sense. It still leaves a lot of unresolved issues but they will happen in due course. In this chapter I kind of wanted to put in some of the ups and downs of high school. Sure this is set 30 odd years ago in a world of magic but I don't think things can be all that different. Some of your best memories come from high school, but it can also be a place from hell. I think most people have suffered the effects of a nasty rumour and while they are horrible, they are by no means rare.**

**I don't think I need to remind you since you have all written the most awesome reviews last chapter (which I am eternally grateful for) but just in case you've forgotten, please review!**


	23. Truth Hurts

**Thanks to messyblackhair66, Amenti, american nymphadora, Lilyluvr, xo-MidnightSun-ox, Deedsla and AuthoressMegz for reviewing :-). I've been away on holiday for the past week so again, I'm sorry for taking ages to update. I seem to be doing that a lot lately. Anyway, I wrote this on the aeroplane. It's not the best chapter in the world but hopefully it's okay until I update again, hopefully a little sooner than the last few chapters. **

**---**

**Ch 23: Truth Hurts**

With Lily now gone, James and Sirius were left watching each other uncomfortably. Neither were really that mad at the other anymore but weren't quite ready to back down yet, still maintaining that it was the other's fault. Despite Lily's words, James wasn't quite prepared to swallow his pride completely, but you had to start somewhere.

"I'm sorry Prongs. I was wrong." Sirius said uncomfortably.

James still looked slightly hostile and leaned against the wall. He tried and nearly succeeded in hiding his surprise but replied coolly. "What?"

"What do you mean what?" Sirius asked stiffly. "How could you not have heard me? You're standing less than two metres away." He continued in exasperation.

"No, I heard you." James said casually. "I just wanted to make you say it again."

Sirius scowled muttering "Git" under his breath.

"What was that Sirius?" James asked in an annoyingly cheerful voice, clearly indicating that he had heard every word he had spoken so far. He could tell that it was taking every amount of effort for Sirius to try and make amends but he still wanted to make him suffer for a little while first.

"You know I don't do apologies Prongs. I'm not saying it again." Sirius said flatly.

James watched him expectantly but didn't say a word. "Fine." Sirius snapped when it was clear James wasn't going to give up. "I'm sorry. I was wrong about Lily and I shouldn't have tried to sabotage your relationship."

James nodded in satisfaction. "Anything you'd like to say Prongs?" Sirius prodded tetchily.

"Nup."

"Prongs." Repeated Sirius through gritted teeth.

"Did you want something Padfoot?" James asked overbrightly. He was very much enjoying Sirius' immense discomfort and growing annoyance.

"I think you have something to say too." He said tersely.

"Sorry for ditching you for Lily even though she is much better company than you. I shouldn't have tried to punch you in the face either, even if you would have deserved it and your nose would have looked much better." James said reluctantly. Sirius, however, didn't look quite so pleased with this response.

"Was there an apology buried deep within that pile of insults? And what was that crack about my nose?" Examining his nose carefully with his fingers, the nose remark seemed to bother Sirius the most.

While far from an adequate apology in either's opinions, the awkward mood between them seemed to have evaporated mostly.

"So, have you stopped being a grumpy, scowling prat?" James asked.

"Have you stopped being an Evans-obsessed, friend-ditching git?" Was Sirius' reply.

"How important is the Evans-obsessed aspect?" James quipped. And reluctantly, neither could hold back a small grin.

"I missed you mate." Sirius said gruffly. James felt his spirits lift. Things just hadn't been the same without Sirius.

"Me too." James muttered.

"Geez, Evans is right. You are conceited mate. You missed yourself huh?" Sirius said with a smirk and James muttered "Prat."

Their argument behind them and things more or less back to normal, James and Sirius gave each other a manly hug. With a brotherly pat on the back they pulled back slightly awkwardly. Hugs were for sissies.

"This never leaves this corridor." Sirius said firmly as they headed down the corridor to the common room.

James nodded resolutely. "We never speak of this again."

---

Strong arms enveloped Lily and pulled her into a warm hug. "Have I ever told you how amazing you are?" James whispered into her ear between soft kisses on her neck.

Lily sighed contentedly. "I could get used to this."

"I'm serious Lily." His warm hazel eyes bored into hers. "I can't thank you enough. I honestly don't know how you do it."

"I didn't do anything." Lily said breezily. "I don't know what you're talking about."

James shifted. "Lily, can't you just take a compliment." He said exasperatedly.

"Fine. Thank you." Lily said, not quite sure what she was taking a compliment for but deciding it was just easier to agree with him for this particular issue.

"What about you and Marly?" James asked concernedly. "Are you okay again?"

"I don't know. She's still a bit distant but things are okay." Lily sighed.

James looked at her sternly. "Lily, don't let your pride get in the way of something important to you." He said with a slight smile. Lily returned it dryly.

"This is a bit different than with you and Sirius. Thank you for your advice but my pride isn't getting in the way of anything. Marly knows that I'm always here for her and eventually she'll realise that Will is bad for her. I just hope that he doesn't do too much damage before then. I've done all I can, there's nothing else I can do but just be there for her when she needs me." Lily said kind of sadly. She missed Marly and hated the distance between them.

James hugged her comfortingly and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. "Keep your chin up Lil. Things will get better." Lily smiled. James always knew the right things to say. Most of the time.

"Well, for now I have to counsel Clara on her latest break up. She too doesn't seem to know which guys to stay away from." Lily said tiredly.

She couldn't count the number of times that the three other seventh year Gryffindor girls had counselled Clara after her poor little heart had been broken yet again. But recently the duty had been almost solely handed to Lily. Natalie was avoiding most of them, Marly was still too wrapt up in Will and Lily was there to try and support everyone.

"You do too much Lily. Why can't someone else do that? Why can't someone be there for you for once instead of the other way round?" James asked.

"They were and they are. But at the moment I'm not the one that needs support. Clara does. I don't have time for a meltdown at the moment." Lily smiled slightly to reassure James who was still looking at her worriedly.

"I'm fine James. And thank you for making me feel better. I'm Clara's rock and your mine." She kissed him quickly on the lips and with another small smile, hurried off to the dormitory to listen to poor Clara's woes. James watched her leave, shaking his head slightly in disbelief.

---

After a few days of chowing down on chocolate, Clara seemed to have more or less mended her broken heart. Marly was now spending just about every waking hour off somewhere with Will and Lily couldn't have been more grateful for James. He was always there when she needed him, always willing to give her a warm hug or a kiss, always knew just what to say to make her smile.

"Lily." James sidled up to her in the busy Gryffindor looking slightly uneasy.

"What's up James?" Lily asked looking concerned.

James took a deep breath, preparing himself for the worst. "I can't do rounds tonight." He said quickly.

"Why? Are you okay?" Lily looked surprised. At the start of the year Lily had very much doubted James' responsibility towards his position of Head Boy. But throughout the year he had proven to be just as dedicated as her, never once missing patrols, never failing to show up to meetings, never slacking off.

"Yea, I'm just… er… busy tonight." James said awkwardly. He had come up with a million and one excuses, each more feeble than the last. He couldn't lie to Lily; she would see right through it, she always did.

"What do you mean you're busy? You've never missed patrols before. What are you doing?" She was beginning to look suspicious now and James was desperately wondering how he was going to get out of this without making her suspicious. He couldn't.

"I really wish I could tell you Lily, but I can't."

"You can't tell me?" Lily's eyes narrowed slightly. She was getting annoyed.

James shook his head. "Why not?"

"Because, it's not my thing to tell." James answered.

Lily let out a frustrated sigh. "Whatever James. I'm sick of this. If you don't want to tell me then whatever. Just remember, how can you expect me to trust you if you can't even tell me the truth?" Lily said angrily before turning on her heel and walking towards her dormitory.

"Lily." James called and rushed after her. She was taking this even worse than expected. Well, maybe not worse. About as bad as expected.

"Lily, don't be like this." James pleaded, looking up at her from where she was standing half way up the stairs.

"Later James. I've got to go get ready for patrols by myself so if you don't mind could you please leave me alone." Defeated, James watched her as she stomped the rest of the way to her dorm.

He knew this would come one day. He knew it from the first day he asked her out, from the day when she had kissed him in the common room. But that didn't make him dread it any less. He was lucky he supposed that it had taken this long for the issue to come up. Coincidentally, every other full moon this year hadn't clashed with their alternating patrols so his absence had never been noted by Lily. Until now.

With less enthusiasm than he had ever approached a full moon expedition, James went off to find his fellow Marauders. He felt guilty about leaving Lily to do patrols in the eerie castle all by herself but knew in his heart that he couldn't let his friends down either. These monthly escapades had been tradition for over two years now, he wasn't about to let things change.

---

Grumpily, Lily proceeded around the cold dark castle. She didn't like the dark, or the cold and she especially didn't like being by herself. Sure her patrols with James hadn't always been fun exactly, especially at the start of the year, but it was still better than being alone.

Lily was still incredibly curious about whatever James was up to that night, not to mention still pissed off that he wouldn't tell her. And she couldn't for the life of her figure out what it was. What on earth could be so secretive that he couldn't, or wouldn't, tell her?

A horrible thought struck Lily. What if he was doing something illegal? But no, not even James would be that stupid. Maybe it was for a prank? No, she was sure he wouldn't bail out of patrols just for a prank. Was he cheating on her? Lily shook her head firmly even though she was alone. James wouldn't do that. He loved her. He told her so every day even if Lily still hadn't been able to figure out yet if she really loved him back. She definitely liked him… a lot. She valued his company more than anything and she missed him when he wasn't around. But was that love?

It grew later and later and Lily was sorely tempted to go to bed early but she wasn't quite rebellious enough to skive off her duties. Well, rebellious for Lily anyway.

Thankfully Lily didn't come across any students that were out of bed. She didn't like taking points off people, except the occasional rude Slytherin, and definitely wasn't in the mood to punish people that night.

As she wandered slowly through one of Hogwarts castle's many corridors a soft noise sparked her interest. Leaning closely towards one of the empty classroom she was sure she could hear soft crying.

Prising the door open as quietly as she could, Lily peered into the room. It was dark and she couldn't see much except for the shadow of a figure huddled up in the back corner.

"Who's there?" She called kindly. She didn't want to upset whoever it was more so than they already were.

A face turned in the direction of the door where Lily was standing but she couldn't quite make out who it was, if it was even someone she knew.

"Lily? Is that you?" Lily gaped in shock.

"Marly?"

With a quick flick of her wand Lily softly lit the candles around the room before rushing over to where Marly was crouched in the corner.

"What happened?" Lily asked, worry written across her face as she knelt down next to her friend.

"H-he-he u-used m-m-me." Marly sobbed and flung herself onto Lily.

Lily pulled her into a comforting hug, rubbing her back soothingly and trying to calm her sobbing friend. She could not for the life of her make out the inaudible mumbles that Marly emitted but gathered enough to understand that that slimy, creepy, good for nothing Slytherin prick had broken poor Marly's heart.

"Shhhh, tell me what happened." Lily said gently when Marly had calmed down enough that her shoulders where no longer shaking with her hacking sobs and her breathing was slowed enough to talk properly.

"You were right. About everything. About him." Marly said, tears still leaking from her swollen eyes.

"Start from the beginning." Lily said, still rubbing Marly's back soothingly.

Lily listened for what felt like an hour as Marly spilled her guts. By the end, Lily was nearly crying too for all the heartbreak her poor friend had suffered. This was worse than Clara's latest break up and it hurt Lily more to know that strong, independent Marly could be do devastated, so messed up by one guy.

"I don't really know how we got together, it just kind of… happened. He was really sweet and caring and I fell for him. He always brought me flowers and chocolates and told me I was beautiful. He just really knew how to make me feel special, like I was the only girl in the world." Lily listened raptly. She understood most of this. He was a damn good actor, that wasn't in doubt.

"I know you were upset that I didn't tell you." Marly looked apologetically at Lily who waved her hand airily and motioned for her to go on. "He said he didn't want everyone to know. I didn't really think twice about it and just accepted his reason that what we had was so special and that he didn't want everybody knowing our business." A few tears leaked from Marly's eyes but she brushed them away brusquely.

"Now I know that it was because he was embarrassed of me. That and the fact that he was supposedly banging that Slytherin tart Alicia behind my back." She added bitterly. Lily looked shocked and outraged but didn't interrupt.

"Eventually I told you guys because I didn't want to keep a secret any longer. I didn't expect anyone else to find out or somehow get back to him. He was really angry and yelled at me. But then he apologised, told me he loved me and brought me roses that I forgave him. God I was stupid!" Now could have been the perfect time for Lily to say 'I told you so' but her friend was so distressed that the thought didn't even cross her mind. She would have done anything to have been wrong. For James to have been wrong. For Will to have turned out to be a really great guy, despite being a Slytherin, and made Marly happy.

"I really thought he was the one. I thought he loved me. I hoped that you would all realise that he really was a great guy, that he was just shy around other people. But it turned out that everything you said was right. I was nothing more than another conquest to him. After he got what he wanted he discarded me like I never even existed." More tears spilled from her eyes and Lily hugged her again.

Marly pulled back sharply. "You should hate me Lily. For all the mean things I said to you, everything I've done. I don't deserve a friend like you. I'm horrible." Overwhelmed by more tears, Marly buried her face in her hands.

"Marly, you made a mistake, that's all. You're not horrible. You're my best friend in the whole world and I would never hate you." Lily squeezed Marly's hand reassuringly.

"How about we go back to our dorm now, okay?" Lily asked gently. Marly nodded and slowly Lily helped her to her feet. Bugger patrols, Lily had more important things to worry about now.

Once Marly was fast asleep in the dorm, Lily sat by the open window, letting the cool breeze soothe her. She didn't need to tell Marly all the things James had told her about Will. He'd hurt her bad enough, she didn't need anything else.

A loud howl echoed from the forest in the distance. A full moon shone brightly in the sky and it was lucky that Lily didn't look too carefully at the grounds that night or she might have met an interesting sight. A sight that might have needed a hell of a lot of explaining.

Apart from her fight with James, things were looking up in Lily's life. Friendships seemed to be mending themselves as they should. Lily had her best friend back and James had his. Now all she needed to work on was trying to shake that frustrated feeling about whatever James wasn't telling her. Maybe she'd ask him again tomorrow and maybe he might actually answer. But for now, Lily wanted nothing more than to go to sleep. There was plenty of time to worry about James, and Marly, tomorrow.


	24. Decisions

**Thanks to messyblackhair66, ****zenon-92793****, browneyez, WhiteCamellia, appleali and chickibabe46 for reviewing. This story is very quickly drawing to an end. A few more chappies to go! If all goes well then I want to have it finished and posted just after New Year before I go away so I don't leave all of you hanging with about a chapter or so to go for a few weeks. So, hopefully I should update once or twice a week so it's all finished. **

**In case some of you don't come back on before then, Merry Christmas to everyone and Happy New Year as well! Hope you all have a great holiday.**

**---**

**Ch 24: Decisions**

"Morning James." Lily said curtly. She turned back to her pancakes, her body shifting slightly away from his. Yet again he tried to engage her in conversation but she answered shortly and ignored him again.

"Lily, stop being like this. I'm sorry. What else can I say?" James said desperately but he couldn't help a bit of frustration entering his voice.

"You could tell me where you were last night." She replied simply without turning to look at him. James sighed loudly.

"I can't. I've already told you that."

James wasn't sure whether he was annoyed at her for being like this or just plain apologetic and desperate to not have her mad at him. At the moment it was a very confusing mix of the two. Sometimes he just wanted to snap at her. Tell her that he couldn't tell her, that she just needed to trust him and accept that and move on. But the next minute he just wanted to sweep her up in his arms, apologise profusely and kiss her senseless.

Lily huffed and didn't reply. She was just as confused as James. She wanted to just forget it, trust him and get over it. She knew that would be the adult thing to do but right now she wasn't feeling very adult. All she wanted to do was be huffy and offish and make him feel as bad as possible. In other words be a brat.

"Were patrols okay last night?" James asked, trying a different tact. Maybe if he just dropped the whole subject and talked to her about other things the whole thing would just blow over. For now.

"Fine." Lily answered shortly. She wanted to spill everything about Marly, how worried she was about her. She wanted him to wrap her comfortingly in his arms and tell her that everything would be okay. But something held her back. She would be breaking Marly's trust and she was still just in a plain grumpy mood and still wanted to make him feel bad enough to tell her. Unfortunately, he didn't seem to be relenting so neither of these options seemed to be panning out very well.

"Seya later." Grabbing a couple of slices of toast and a glass of cool pumpkin juice, Lily left the table. Marly had refused to come down to breakfast so Lily was bringing her up something to nibble on if she could convince her too. After all the support Marly had given her in the last few months, it felt weird to Lily to be in the reverse roles. Now it was Marly's turn for the unconditional love and support and Lily was more than willing to supply it.

"Are you coming to herbology?" Lily asked Marly gently. She was still lying in bed and looked like a mess.

"I suppose. I can't very well stay here and mope all day." Marly said reluctantly as she dragged herself unwillingly out of bed.

"It will keep your mind off things." Lily said reassuringly.

---

Marly put on a brave face. She went about her days as usual, slightly more subdued than usual but more or less her usual self. She moved out of the spotlight, for once not wanting the world's attention on her. Marly just wasn't the sulking type. Where Clara would stay in bed and eat chocolate for a week, Marly would take on the world with new strength.

She hurt, that wasn't in doubt. Her heart was in shreds, her dignity battered and bruised but her pride and resilience remained. She held her head high, her face barely registering when she caught sight of Will. Her eyes flickered over him carelessly as he smirked nastily and whispered something to his friend. Her tough stance never faltered. Lily was so proud of her.

She watched her carefully and looked out for her constantly. But her worries were unfounded. Marly was tough. She may have fallen down but she sure as hell got up again.

---

Walking into the common room purposefully, Lily headed directly towards one of the couches by the fire where a familiar head of messy black hair was visible. James barely noticed her until she was right in front of him. Then, without pausing she bent down and kissed him full on the lips. James was taken aback but was by no means about the push her away.

"What was that for?" He asked confusedly when she pulled back. "I thought you were mad at me."

Lily took a seat next to him and snuggled into his chest. "I am." She replied. James was still confused but Lily didn't elaborate.

"Well, if this is you mad at me, I'm looking forward to when you're happy." James said with a grin. Lily laughed but stayed quiet. She had caved. Her cool act with James was taking far too much energy. And she was pretty sure he felt bad. In fact, she knew that he felt bad. And who knew, maybe he did have a perfectly legitimate reason for where he had been. Maybe she should just trust him after all. And his warm, safe embrace was far too enticing for her to refuse any longer.

For a while they just lay there together. Lily closing her eyes tiredly and allowing herself to relax and James gently stroking her hair.

"What's that?" Lily asked suddenly. She no longer looked peaceful. Her eyes were wide open and looking curiously at his arm.

James looked down and felt his heart sink. His robes had ridden up slightly to reveal a huge blue and purple bruise on his arm and numerous tiny scratched littering the skin.

"Nothing." Lily eyes narrowed. She took back her earlier thought. She was annoyed again. And worried. You didn't get bruises like that from 'nothing.'

"Where did you get that?" she knew it was from his 'mysterious night out' but she was determined to make him say it.

"You're not going to get mad at me again are you?" James asked looking worried and doing a bad attempt to avoid another argument.

"No." James visibly relaxed but not for long. "I'm not going to get mad at you again. I already am. Now how did you get those injuries?"

Relenting slightly James sighed. "The bloody Whomping Willow thwacked me on the arm." If he had thought that would satisfy her and deflect a few questions he was very wrong. Lily's eyebrows rose and she eyed him dangerously.

"And what were you doing by the Whomping Willow?" Since Davey Gudgeon's accident a few years back the students had learned to stay as far as possible from the nasty tree with anger management issues. Which was why Lily could not fathom why James would have gone near the bloody tree.

James was a truly terrible liar. Maybe if he had just continued with the 'I can't tell you' things might have panned out better. But no, he had to go and make up some lame arse excuse which no one in their right mind, let alone Lily, would believe in a million years.

Lily's eyes narrowed in that familiar way and her face flushed. "For God's sake James. And that is supposed to prove to me that I can trust you?" She huffed angrily.

James couldn't think of a reply. He really didn't have anything else to say. His fellow Marauders were watching him curiously from the corner where they had gracefully moved when Lily had arrived but he avoided their eyes. They knew what Lily and his argument was about and he could already see Remus twitch guiltily.

Storming off in true Lily fashion, James was left sullenly lying on the couch. Slowly, his friends gathered around him to bombard him with questions.

"What was that about?" Peter, always the thinker, asked dumbly.

Sirius glared at him. He didn't want to make Remus feel guilty any more than James did.

"Nothing." James said reluctantly. Remus looked at him unconvinced.

"I'm sorry James." Remus said quietly, not looking at his friend.

"No, Moony. What are you talking about?"

Remus raised his eyebrows questioningly but still looked uncomfortable. "I'm not stupid James. I know that you and Lily have been fighting recently. Because of… well… because of me. And my 'furry little problem.'"

"Moony –" James tried, looking awkward as well.

"No James. I don't want to be a constant upset in your relationship. I know how Lily is about things that people don't tell her." James tried to but in again but Remus carried on over the top of him.

"And that's why I'm saying that you can tell her. I know that we can trust her. In fact, I'm surprised she hasn't figured it out before now. It's only a matter of time anyhow." Remus said confidently although he looked a little pale.

Sirius, James and Peter were all silent. "But… but…" James trailed off.

Remus looked at him defiantly. "Although I'd prefer you told her rather than me." He added as an afterthought.

"What about the rest of it?" Peter squeaked. They all turned to look at him. "Lily's going to ask what you being a werew–" The others shushed him loudly as they were still in the common room where anybody could overhear. Peter looked down bashfully. "She's going to ask what _that_ has to do with the rest of us."

The others looked at Peter in awe. He wasn't exactly known for his perceptive skills. In fact, they all rather doubted if he had any at all.

The four boys all looked at each other. No one wanted to make the decision.

"Do we tell her everything?" Remus asked. James had been very quiet. He didn't want his friends to feel as though they had to reveal their biggest secrets just because of him.

"Yes. We can trust Lily." Sirius piped up confidently. James looked at him in surprise. After all, Sirius hadn't exactly like Lily much until very very recently.

"Wormtail?" Remus and Sirius had both proclaimed their agreement. James knew he would have to tell her one day although he dreaded the argument he was sure would follow. Peter was the only one left to decide.

"I suppose." He said timidly, looking frantically around at them all. He hated being asked his opinion, everyone listening and waiting for his response.

"That's settled then." Remus said with as much strength as he could muster given the subject matter. Despite having lived with his 'problem' for most of his life he still never liked to talk about it.

"Thanks guys." James said sincerely. Only true friends like the Marauders would give up something so big for their friend's girlfriend. But they all knew as well as the other how important Lily was to James. She wasn't just any old girlfriend. She was in for the long haul. James knew it, the Marauders knew it, it was just Lily who didn't know it just yet. But she would soon. Fate worked in funny ways.

Gulping softly, James stood up. It was now or never. And with a last glance and the flash of a smile back at his friends, James set off to find Lily. Actually, he had already found her. All he had to do was figure out how to get up those damned stairs.


	25. Out of the Bag

**Thanks for all those lovely reviews: zenon-92793, waitingforjudgement, Fizzing-Whizbee-nz, WhiteCamellia, messyblackhair66, queenshinkokami, tennisjock, zippingzephyr, Lady Potter of Tortall, chickibabe46, marauders rox, AuthoressMegz, iridewithsanta and CowPie37! Btw, sorry the last chapter was so short, this one's longer!**

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**Ch 25: Out of the Bag**

"How the hell do I get up there?" James huffed angrily. He had made his fourth attempt to climb the slide but to no avail. They were clearly as boy proof as it was possible to be.

He had run over the possibility of using his broomstick, but how was he supposed to explain flying his broomstick up to the girls' dorms? There was bound to be at least one uptight little first or second year who would tell McGonagall. And Lily would probably shoot him (figure of speech. The possibility of her having, especially since James had never even heard of one, a gun was very remote) anyway.

So, for lack of any other brain wave of inspiration, James set off to the owlery. After coaxing down his owl, James scribbled a note on the piece of parchment he had brought with him and attached it to the owl. He watched it soar out the window and slowly walked back up to the common room.

At 8:30pm he made his way to the Heads' common room, hoping against hope that Lily would be there. With any luck she had had enough time to cool down.

As he gave the password to the portrait and walked into the welcoming looking room he spotted Lily immediately. He smiled slightly and glanced at his watch. 8:25. Even when she was mad Lily couldn't help being early.

Lily spun around instantly at the creak of the portrait hole. Her eyes were still narrowed with annoyance but less so than earlier.

"What do you want James?" She asked shortly before he could even get a word in.

James swallowed. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Wow, I never would have guessed!" Lily exclaimed sarcastically. "I hope you've at least dragged me here for something decent. What's with all the secrecy anyway?" She asked snappily.

"You so badly wanted to know where I was the other night so I'm going to tell you. I've discussed it with the others and they've given their consent." He hated how formal his words came out but his nerves were rattled. Lily's eyes widened in surprise and guilt but stronger than all of them, curiosity.

"Oh." Was all she said.

"Maybe you should sit down." James suggested, pointing towards the couch which she had vacated upon his arrival. Lily looked slightly apprehensive but she was far too curious to say anything.

James struggled to find his word. He didn't really know where to begin. Should he start with Remus being a werewolf or with where he was?

"James," Lily said quietly. She looked worried about him. His face was pale and his hands were clammy. "I'm sorry I made such a fuss. I just, I don't know. You don't have to tell me if you really don't want to." She hoped he wouldn't accept this, she was far to interested now, but thought she should offer him an out anyway.

James gave a wry smile. "And that wouldn't bother you in the least?" He raised an eyebrow questioningly and Lily coloured slightly.

"Well…" She trailed off and James gave her a knowing smile.

"I have to tell you sometime and I suppose now is as good a time as any. Besides, otherwise you'll just get like this next time and it will start all over again." James said.

"Next time?" Lily asked, intrigued.

James ran him fingers through his already messed up hair to calm him. Lily watched in amusement and hid a smile.

"Okay. Just… hear me out okay?" Lily nodded and watched him intently.

"Well, I suppose I should start with where I was since that seems to be the most important issue. At the moment. I was with Sirius, Remus and Peter. We went to the Shrieking Shack."

"The Shrieking Shack?" Lily asked in surprise. She hadn't expected that. "But you can't get in there. It's all boarded up!"

James nodded. "Lily, this is the Marauder's you're talking about. You really think that would stop us?" James asked with a small smile. Lily couldn't help a small grin herself. "And besides, there's a secret passage into there."

"Where?" Lily blurted curiously.

"The Whomping Willow. There's a knot at the base of the trunk which you can prod with a long stick and it stops moving. Once you get close enough you can see a tunnel leading under there. That tunnel leads right into the Shrieking Shack."

James paused for Lily to digest this bit of information.

"Why did you want to get into the Shrieking Shack? And how did you know about the knot?"

James looked down at his hands. That was the easy part. This was where it got complicated.

"We've gone there every month since 5th year. Sort of a tradition I guess you could call it." The quizzical expression on Lily's face showed that she was very confused. James supposed it was time to stop stalling and just tell her the hardest bit. Well, one of the hardest bits.

"And the reason we go there every month is because… is because…" James stopped for a minute to take a deep breath. Despite having Remus' agreement he still felt like he was betraying his trust somehow. This shouldn't be his thing to tell.

Lily stayed quiet. She seemed to notice how much James was struggling.

"Is it dangerous?" She asked quietly, knowing the answer in the back of her mind but not really wanting to.

James nodded. "A bit."

He took another deep breath before he continued. "We go there every month, all four of us, whenever Remus is sick." Lily nodded. She, like the rest of the school, noticed how sickly Remus always was, however she still looked confused. Why wouldn't Remus just go to the hospital wing? And why was he always sick so often?

"Remus is a werewolf." James blurted. He had hoped to give his friend a bit more of a graceful telling than that but that was the best he could manage. Lily sat in shocked silence. Her jaw dropped and her hand was clapped over her mouth. She uttered a small gasp but other than that, continued to stare at him with wide eyes. James couldn't take it anymore.

"I know you must think he's a monster but –" James said in a defensive rush before Lily interrupted.

"Of course not!" She seemed to have found her voice and she looked shocked. "No one can deny that he is extremely dangerous when he is in his werewolf form but he's still just the same old Remus. What kind of a person would judge another on some unfortunate condition they happen to possess but have no control over?"

James laughed. "You are amazing Lily, you really are. You can look at someone without judging them, and the faith you instil in people is astounding. You can always manage to find the good in everyone. Even scum like that greasy haired git Snape." James said with distaste.

They lapsed into silence again. "How long?" Lily asked eventually.

"He got bitten when he was pretty young. He never told us but we eventually figured it out." James answered. He was far from feeling like a weight had been lifted from his chest it was only a matter of minutes before she asked –

"But what has Remus being a werewolf got to do with you?"

James looked away from her again. As selfish as it sounded, this was the part he was reading most. He knew, just knew that she would be mad. Tell him how irresponsible they all were. How dangerous it was.

"Every month Madame Pomfrey takes him out to the Whomping Willow to transform. And every month me, Sirius and Peter go too."

Lily look horrified. "But you can't! He could bite you or… or… kill you! How on earth do you –?" She broke off with a strange expression. A memory, clear as day suddenly drifted across her mind. A memory that she hadn't thought about since, that had held no significance, until now.

_It was a beautiful night, the sky was clear and the bright moon cast an eerie glow across the frosty grounds. Just as she turned to head into the Entrance Hall, something caught Lily's eye. A beautiful stag stood by the frozen lake staring directly at her, bathed in moonlight. Its dark coffee coloured coat glowed brilliantly but something about its eyes struck Lily. They looked so familiar yet she couldn't place them. But before Lily could get a better look at the magnificent animal it turned its antlered head and cantered off into the distance._

"Prongs." She whispered. It all made sense now. Everything fit. James watched her in apprehension, not catching what she had said.

"Prongs." She said a bit louder and James looked at her in alarm. And suddenly he remembered too. Just before Christmas. She wasn't supposed to see him but he couldn't resist moving out of the shadows to watch her.

"Does Dumbledore know?" James swallowed hard. He couldn't look at her.

"Dumbledore and all the other staff know about Remus. Dumbledore was the reason that Remus was allowed to go to school here at all. Snape found out after he glimpsed Remus after a stupid tip off from Sirius but Dumbledore swore him to secrecy." James' mouth turned bitter. Snape. God how he hated him!

"Snape knows?" Lily gasped in surprise.

James nodded. "It's a long story." Lily nodded in understanding and waited for James to continued, but he didn't. Maybe if he didn't mention the rest she would forget, he thought hopefully. No such luck.

"But what about… what about you all being… illegal animagi?" The way she said it made it sound so much worse. James talked to the carpet.

"No one knows except us four. Five now including you." Suddenly he looked deadly serious. And very worried. "You can't tell anyone Lily. Even Marly. No one can find out. About any of it. No matter what, you can't breathe a word." James said sternly.

Lily looked indignant all of a sudden. "Of course I won't tell!" She said fiercely.

"But… what do you do? How do you get there? How come no one has found out before now?" She still couldn't get her head around everything she had found out.

"Once Remus is safely in the Shrieking Shack, the rest of us join him. We sneak down to the Whomping Willow under my… er… under my invisibility cloak." Lily raised her eyebrows questioningly. "Family heirloom." James muttered as explanation.

"When we're all transformed, we… um… break Remus out of the Shack and run around the countryside. I don't think any other student has ever or will ever learn more about the Hogwarts grounds and Hogsmeade than us." James said proudly. However, Lily was clearly still a few steps behind him and still in a state of shock over the idea of a fully fledged werewolf roaming the countryside every month.

James figured he'd better get explaining quickly. "I don't expect you to understand Lily. You can't possibly. You don't know what it's like for Remus, before he had us. It was horrible. He bit and scratched himself; he was a mess after every full moon. He's only a danger to humans and he needed us. We help him. We really do. And –"

"Despite the dangers, you want to help him. He's your friend. There's nothing you wouldn't do for him. Any risk, any danger, it's all worth it to make it less painful for him. I know. I do understand." Lily finished off quietly. James looked at her in amazement. No yelling. No ranting of how irresponsible they were. Just pure understanding and acceptance.

"You really understand?" James asked in disbelief. He was still reeling form the shock of the absence of yelling or at least disapproval.

"I really do." Lily said simply with the ghost of a smile. James moved over to her and wrapped his arms around her. She snuggled her head into his chest and he kissed the top of her head lovingly.

"Can I see?" She asked suddenly. James lifted his head in surprise.

"See what?" He questioned confusedly.

"Your animagus forms. All of you. I want to see." She explained, her eyes now alight with interest. James chuckled softly.

"Okay." Standing up he took her hand. Without another word she followed him all the way to the common room and up the stairs to the boys' dormitory. Remus, Sirius and Peter were all inside playing exploding snap. They looked up in surprise and curiosity when James entered the room with Lily in tow.

Remus looked at her uncomfortably but Lily smiled reassuringly. "It's okay Remus. I don't think of you any differently. You're just the same old Remus to me than you always were and nothing will change that." Remus smiled back.

"Lily, may I introduce to you Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs." He grinned mischievously and the others seemed to understand. They too grinned happily, a mischievous glint in each eye.

"Wormtail, you first." Peter nodded and looked shy but complied nonetheless.

Suddenly, where the boy had been sitting was now a rather fat grey rat. He looked decidedly ordinary as his nose twitched and he sniffed the air hopefully for food. Wormtail scampered over to Lily and ran across her feet. She squealed in fright and leapt away to gales of laughter from the other boys.

And before she could see where he had gone, Peter was now sitting on the other side of the room smiling nervously.

"Now you Padfoot." James ordered with a grin.

Sirius transformed and a huge black dog now sat in his place. His long pink tongue lolled around in his mouth and his tail thumped the ground as he wagged it merrily. It was so Sirius that it fit. He barked happily and Lily laughed out loud. It sounded just the same as his laugh.

Bounding across the room Sirius started chasing his tail round and round in circles. He yipped in pleasure and Lily laughed again at the obvious delight he had in his animal form. Looking up at her with big ebony eyes, Sirius bounded over to Lily, raising his two front paws to place on her shoulders.

He weighed a tonne and she stumbled under his weight but laughed all the same. She was relieved when he sat back on the floor and closed his eyes in contentment as she scratched him behind his ears.

With a last woof, Sirius retreated and transformed back. Now sitting there he was still grinning with so much likeness to the dog that had been in front of her second before.

"And you James?" Lily asked. James looked surprised.

"But you've already seen me."

"Only a few hundred meters away. Go on, it's your turn now." She pleaded and without further argument James transformed too.

The same magnificent stag she had seen once before stood in front of her. So proud and noble. It fitted James so perfectly and she was completely entranced with the beautiful creature.

"Wow." She whispered softly as she extended a hand towards the stag. It bowed its head gracefully and walked towards her outstretched hand. Nuzzling its silky nose into her hand, Lily giggled and petted James' nose gently.

"Couldn't you do that in private?" Sirius interrupted loudly, a good natured grin covering his face. The stag moved away from Lily and made his way towards Sirius. It let out soft snuffling noise and bent its head. The crown of tall, strong antlers made contact with Sirius as Prongs nudged his head reprovingly at Sirius and bucked him with his antlers. Sirius glared and the stag backed off and too, transformed into human James.

Lily was still smiling but her head was spinning painfully with all the news. She still couldn't quite comprehend all of it or digest all of it. Remus a werewolf… the other three illegal animagi… an invisibility cloak… what else were they hiding?

Voicing her thoughts Lily asked, "So, what other secrets do you have up your sleeves?" She said jokingly but her expression changed when all four boys shifted guiltily.

"Well," James started. "There's one thing left." He turned to the others.

"This is our pride and joy, all of our many talents combined into one exquisite artefact." Sirius continued proudly.

Remus whipped something from the pocket of his robes. "This is the Marauder's Map." He said dramatically and proudly held out a blank piece of parchment. Lily looked at it questioningly.

"A blank piece of parchment?" She asked quizzically. The boys all looked outraged.

"How could you say that?" Sirius questioned indignantly, sounding as if she had just thrust a knife into his chest.

"Lily, this is so much more than a 'blank piece of parchment' as you put it. Here you are looking at all of Hogwarts' secrets and wonders condensed into one object. A map of Hogwarts like no other. I solemnly swear I am up to no good." Remus tapped the parchment and black lines began to appear.

Lily watching in fascination and her eyes grew wide with awe. "This is absolutely amazing!" She praised, turning the map over in her fingers and examining it carefully, watching the tiny dots moving around.

"How did you do this? That's some advanced magic there. I really underestimated you Marauders. You are brilliant!" Lily exclaimed, still awestruck.

James look affronted. "It took you seven years to figure that out?"


	26. Who Ever Said Impossible?

**Thanks to my lovely reviewers: zenon-92793, lil pink pixie, zippingzephyr, szabatka2, messyblackhair66, marauders rox, Issa1711, Lady Potter of Tortall, apple-ali, Messrs Padfoot and Prongs and iridewithsanta. I hope you all had a great Christmas!**

**A couple of reviews commented that Lily's reaction was a little underestimated and surprising which it was but I did have my reasons for doing that. While Lily isn't always rational and reasonable (as demonstrated by her anger at James not telling her) she loves her friends more than anything. With no family left their friendship means everything to her and she would go to any lengths to help them. Despite her natural reaction to be angry at the dangers the Marauders put themselves in, she manages to see past that and recognise James' deep loyalty to his friends which is not only something Lily admires in him but also something she can relate to in her own friendships, especially with Marly, for despite their ups and downs she is the sister Lily never found in Petunia. I hope that gives a slightly better explanation to Lily's reaction.**

**Also, sorry to drag on the authors note, also sorry if this chapter kind of sucks. I know what I wanted to happen but it wasn't being particularly cooperative in being typed out. I wrote it out quickly so I also apologise for any mistakes, I didn't really get time to edit it, but I wanted to post it asap so I can get on with the end of the story. Anyway, enough of my drabble and please read and review.**

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**Ch 26: Who Ever Said Impossible?**

NEWTs were fast approaching and tension and stress amongst the seventh years were running high. The teachers were far from settling any anxiety with their constant rants of 'how important your NEWTs are!' and 'how they will affect your whole futures'. The mound of work and revision was piling up drastically and all in all, most of the population seemed to be rather on edge.

One beautiful day in April, the lush Hogwarts grounds were a popular study spot. Lily, James, Sirius and Peter all sat comfortably under their favourite willow tree each finding something to occupy their minds.

Surprise surprise, Lily was rewriting notes with frantic speed that made everyone around her feel dizzy as they watched her. James was unusually reading a book on Charms. Sirius was planning a prank feeling supremely confidant in his abilities and feeling no need whatsoever to be studying this far away from exams. And last of all, Peter was attempting to write… well something. Possibly his herbology essay but from an outsiders view it looked rather like a whole lot of scribbles and crossing out.

"Where are the others?" Sirius asked to his quiet friends. They looked up from their separate activities not quite sure if they were pleased at the distraction (being hugely sick of studying) or nettled that it would now be harder to refocus.

"Marly is allergic to studying so she's probably off doing whatever it is Marly does." Lily said thoughtfully. "But I have no idea where Remus could be. Maybe he went to the library?" She suggested but Sirius looked sceptical.

Finding it all too much effort to worry much more about, Sirius shrugged and began picking idly at the grass in a bored fashion.

Putting down his book, James turned to Lily who was also struggling to regain her concentration.

"I think we've done enough studying for today." James said confidently.

Lily looked at him and then back at her work. "I dunno. I still have so much revision to do. NEWTs are in less than two months!" She was sounding slightly panicky and James couldn't help but give a slight smile at his stress-head girlfriend.

"Can we at least have a well deserved break?" He asked. Lily seemed to relent and nodded. She was exhausted from so many late night study sessions and was in desperate need of some relaxation which she never seemed to have time for.

Putting away her notes so they wouldn't blow away in the wind, Lily lay flat on her back on the grass and closed her eyes contentedly. Unable to resist, James leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips.

"Seems like they'll be busy for a while." Sirius said with a smirk as he stood up to stretch his legs. Lily laughed and James kissed her again, ignoring Sirius.

"Wormtail please. That's disgusting. Stop watching them so avidly. It's weird." Peter looked away embarrassedly and Sirius looked slightly disturbed.

"Right, let's leave these two love birds alone. Let's go to the kitchens!" Grabbing Peter's arm, and making him squeal like a girl, and yanking him up, Sirius marched back up to the castle.

Lily, who had been looking around, felt herself being pulled back down on the grass by James trying to kiss her again. Deciding she deserved the distraction from her school work, and a damn good snog, she didn't protest in the slightest.

"What's going to happen when we leave Hogwarts?" Lily asked, pulling back from him suddenly and looking pensive.

"I don't know. We take on the big bad world?" James laughed. Lily however still looked slightly worried, scared. "Don't worry about it Lil. Let's just get through exams first and then worry about the future." Lily nodded and became quiet.

James was right. She didn't need to worry about where she was going to live, what she was going to do, how she would support herself, what she wanted, if she would still see all her friends. A slight bubble of panic rose inside her. The reality of leaving Hogwarts had only recently set in and it scared the living daylights out of her.

"But what about us?" Lily asked quietly. That more than anything had been worrying her the most. The thought of leaving here and never seeing James again. She didn't even know where he lived for God's sake. What if she was nothing more than his High School girlfriend? Sure, he told her he loved her, but what did that mean in the real world? Would that be enough to keep them together outside the safe walls of Hogwarts? Especially when Lily didn't even know what she wanted in her life.

James looked at her. She could see the impact her words had had. His face was suddenly serious. They had never talked about what would happen when they finished school. It had always seemed so far away but now with people applying for jobs and finding places to live, they couldn't avoid thinking about it any longer.

"Will we still see each other when we leave Hogwarts?" Lily asked again.

"Of course." James said forcefully although his face held traces of worry and uncertainty. He was just as confused and worried as Lily (although a little less inclined to show it) about what would happen to them after school.

"But what if you go away? Or I do? What then? When will we see each other? How? Where? Will you come and see me or will I go to you? What if we're both really busy? Will we make time?" Her voice was growing squeaky and high and her panic was escaping her as much as she tried to keep it under control.

James took her hand and squeezed it gently. "We'll work it out when the time comes. Let's not worry about it now, okay?" He gave her a smile but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

He didn't say that they would stay together. He didn't tell her that he would work around anything to make it work. He didn't tell her that he would stay with her. He didn't even tell her that he loved her.

He stood up and reached out his hand to help her up. Giving her a light kiss on the forehead they walked back up to the castle, both lost in their own thoughts and concerns. Why did growing up have to be so hard? Why did it suddenly seem that everything she had known for the past seven years was hanging by a thin thread? Why did everything have to become so complicated?

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The days sped by with incredible speed and the panicked seventh years grew closer and closer to breaking point. Small tiffs were breaking out with increasing regularity and meltdowns were becoming common place.

James and Lily hadn't spoken about leaving school since. They seemed to have reached a more or less mutual agreement to simply wait and see. That was all they really could do and for now that had to be enough. They carried on as normal but the uncertainty of the future put a slight dampener on their relationship.

"You'll never guess who I busted in patrols last night." Lily said suddenly to Marly looking excited.

Marly looked up from her food with interest. She loved her castle gossip Marly did. "Who?"

"Marty Franklin and Gertrude Kirk." Lily said with a smirk. Marly gasped in shock and a grin spread across her face.

"Oh my God. You are joking!" Marly exclaimed, a bubble of laughter threatening to escape. Lily shook her head with a grin and Marly lapsed into full on giggles.

"Poor girl. She was nearly in tears when I caught them. And believe me it wasn't because of the house points." Lily said matter-of-factly.

"Gosh, I'd be more than nearly in tears if I was caught with _Marty Franklin_! I'd be full on blubbering." Marly said in horror at the very idea. "Although, I would never go near him in a million years." She added as an afterthought, a repulsed look on her face.

The girls continued to swap gossip and bicker over what was truth (not much) and what was complete balderdash (almost all of it).

"Oops, I've gotta go." Marly told Lily as she stood to leave. Lily looked up at her in surprise. They still had half an hour before after lunch lessons.

"Where are you going?" She asked interestedly.

"Never you mind." Marly answered mysteriously with a suggestive wink before departing. Lily was left dumbfounded but with the startling conclusion that Marly was going off with a snog buddy. While Lily didn't doubt that it wouldn't take Marly long to get back out into the dating, or snogging rather, scene after her disastrous relationship it came as a slight shock when it did.

Shrugging it off, Lily returned to her now slightly cold sheppard's pie. After the Will incident she was sure Marly would tell her if or when things got serious, and before then Marly liked to be rather secretive.

"Oi, where do you think you're going?" Sirius asked, rather loudly, and curiously to Remus who had suddenly gotten up from the table and was showing all signs of being about to leave.

To her dismay Remus blushed slightly and looked down at the floor. "Umm. I was… er… going to the… library." He said awkwardly. Without the stutter and sever blush, this wouldn't have sparked anyone's interest. But now, Remus had more than the necessary pairs of curious eyes glued to him.

Without further explanation, Remus hurried out of the Great Hall leaving a bemused Sirius behind.

"I think Moony is hiding something from us!" He exclaimed to James in shock.

"Really?" James replied dryly, not bothering to look up.

"Do you think Moony's met a girl?" Sirius questioned.

"I'm sure he meets them every day." Sirius looked unimpressed at James' attitude.

Looking sulky, Sirius turned to Lily. Suddenly noting Marly's absence too, Sirius' eyes widened.

"Geez, where is everybody these days?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Marly had something to do." She didn't feel like voicing her suspicions about Marly and a possible snog buddy before she actually had a chance to ask Marly.

After a much quieter lunch than usual without Marly and Remus and much contemplation as to their exact whereabouts, everybody began to move off to their next classes.

Walking to transfiguration with James and Sirius the quidditch conversation between the boys drew to an end and they continued in silence. It was as if a light bulb suddenly went off in Sirius' head and a look of wonder suddenly appeared across his handsome face.

"Oh my God." He breathed in a state of shock. When he continued to utter the same three words over again without a change of expression, James butted in.

"What is it Sirius?" James asked in exasperation.

Sirius turned to him slowly, his eyes still wide with astonishment. "You know how Marly and Moony have both been going off a lot lately?" He asked slowly. James nodded. "Do you think maybe they… er… they're together?" Both Lily and James watched him blankly. "As in snogging or seeing each other or whatever." He explained.

Lily and James both burst out laughing and Sirius look put out. "What're you laughing at? They could be." He added defensively.

After they had both calmed down a bit and their breathing slowed, James turned back to his friend. "Sirius, you really think Marly and Moony… together?" Sirius nodded slowly, as if contemplating whether it was a trick question.

"They are so complete opposites, they would never go for each other!" James explained with a grin. "That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard."

Sirius looked deeply offended and turned to Lily for support. She however was still reeling from the shock of Sirius' suggestion and was clutching her sides in laughter.

Muttering 'gits' and looking slightly pink around the cheeks, Sirius hurried into the transfiguration classroom, leaving chuckling Lily and James to follow behind.

---

"It's cold down here." Lily muttered, rubbing her arms to try and keep herself warm. It was past curfew and the two Heads were patrolling the corridors.

"Here." James took off his cloak and draped it around Lily's shoulders to keep her warm.

"Won't you be cold?" Lily protested slightly. After a few minutes of James insisting and Lily protesting she finally relented and kept the cloak, grateful for the extra layer and noting the faint smell of cologne and peppermint. James' smell.

A faint scuffling and the sound of voices could be heard nearby and Lily's ears perked up at the sound. Students out of bed. Quickening their pace, Lily and James rounded the corner, nearly barrelling into two people.

"Marly?" Lily asked in surprise.

"Moony?" James queried in even more shock.

Remus promptly turned red and muttered something incoherent. Marly simply grinned.

"What are you doing?" James asked eventually after silence ensued.

"Just going for a late night walk." Marly said airily. Remus blushed even redder and watched the wall and muttered 'kitchens.' Before either could be interrogated by the Heads, Marly and Remus walked quickly away in the direction of the common.

After a long silence, a very shell shocked Lily and James turned to each other.

"Do you, er, think Sirius might be right?" James asked tentatively. Lily shook her head disbelievingly.

"It's impossible." She uttered incredulously.

"They do say opposites attract." James pointed out doubtfully. Lily shook her head again. Neither seemed to be able to say much.

"It can't be." Lily proclaimed.

"But… I always thought… if any of the Marauders… it would have been Marly and Sirius. At least they have stuff in common." James contemplated.

For a few minutes the two of them stood there in silence.

"Do you really think… Remus and Marly?" Lily asked eventually, her uncertainty creeping into her voice. James simply shrugged. He didn't know either.


	27. Secret Buddies

**Thanks to Violin, Spirit, lil pink pixie, hermione-G-wanna-be (twice!) and chickibabe46, for reviewing :-)**

**Just a note because I don't want to lose any of my amazing reviewers: I will be changing my pen name so please copy the url or whatever rather than searching pen name (if any of you do). Just thought I'd warn you as I would hate to lose any reviewers. I love you too much :-)**

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**Ch 27: Secret Buddies**

"Hi Lily." Looking up from her exceptionally good book at the voice, Lily hadn't noticed Clara enter the girls' dorm. Lily smiled and beckoned for her friend to come over while setting aside her book.

"Hey Clara. What's up?" With NEWTs looming over her, the detective work with Marly because she was too cowardly to just ask and the tension with James, Lily hadn't really had the time for her regular heart-to-hearts with Clara recently.

"Nothing much." She replied softly, gazing out the window lost in thought. Minutes of silence passed and the two girls wordlessly looked into the night.

"What are you thinking about?" Lily asked gently. Clara didn't turn but her soft sigh indicated that she had heard. Something was on her mind.

"Is it ever too late to change?" There was something different in the way Clara spoke and Lily watched her curiously. As off hand as she tried to sound Lily knew the question was important and thought carefully before answering.

"Never. We change all the time just as we learn things everyday. The way we feel, how we see things, how we act. We can be whoever we want. And sometimes, something happens that motivates us to change. It could be something a person said or just a sudden realisation. You need to have the will to do it but it's never too late to change." Lily answered contemplatively. Clara nodded.

"I don't want to be like me anymore." Clara said suddenly. Lily had never seen Clara like this before and it worried her slightly.

"Did something happen Clara?" She asked kindly. Clara shook her head vigorously, trying not to let the tears fall.

"I'm sick of how everyone sees me." Clara's voice came out shrill and her words were choked by tears. "Just another dumb superficial blonde who's nothing more than a pretty face and a set of boobs."

"Oh Clara." Lily hugged her friend tightly as she had so many times before. "Don't ever feel like that. You are a wonderful person and far more than just a pretty face. You are gorgeous inside and out!" Lily rubbed her back soothingly while Clara fought to hold back the torrents of tears threatening to spill.

"I've seen the way you and James are together and I've realised that _I_ want that too. I don't want someone who's going to dump me after the first date. I want someone that really likes me, who makes me laugh and who actually has the intention of sticking around." Clara said through tears.

"And you'll have that. But remember that it's still not all easy sailing when you're in a steady relationship. Things go wrong and you argue and you have to work at it. James and I have rough patches." Lily explained, ignoring the quick tug at her heart at the casual mention at the distance between her and James at the moment.

"But you'll always work things out. Because you love each other and you're both so stubborn that you won't give up without a fight." Clara said with a confidence that made Lily smile.

Comfortable silence ensued and they resumed staring out the window. Lily's mind was buzzing with what Clara had just said. _You love each other_. Lily still couldn't figure out what love was and if what she felt for James was indeed love. Did her fear of what their future held mean that she loved him? Was the desperate need to have him in her future love?

Lily looked at Clara sitting next to her deep in her own confusing thoughts. Comfortingly taking her hand, Lily squeezed it reassuringly.

"Clara, just remember that you don't need a boyfriend, or snog buddy or whatever, to make you feel like you are worth something."

"I don't do I?" Clara agreed, drawing her eyes away from the starry night sky. "I used to think that having somebody, anybody, want me that it meant I was special. That being with somebody, no matter who they were, that it was better than being alone. But if that was right, then why did it just make me feel even smaller and insignificant? Why did it hurt so much more when they no longer wanted me than just being alone to start with?"

Lily smiled. "Being by yourself isn't always bad. Sometimes it makes you feel more fulfilled than being with somebody else."

Clara turned and gave Lily a tight hug. "Thanks Lily. For always listening to my woes and knowing just the right thing to say. For always being honest and being such a wonderful friend." A rush of warmth filled Lily at Clara's words and she hugged her back.

"I think I'm going to go for a walk. Get some fresh air. Be alone for a little while." Clara said with a small smile. "Thanks again Lily."

The door closed softly behind Clara and Lily picked up her book again. For a few minutes she just stared at the cover, lost in her own world again. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, Lily flicked to the page she had been up to before Clara had arrived. She had barely read a paragraph when Marly noisily entered the dorm.

"Hey Lily!" She said cheerfully. Setting her book down on her bed for the second time that evening, Lily looked up at her exceedingly happy friend.

"Why are you in such a good mood?" Lily questioned to a beaming Marly. She shrugged carelessly although her smile didn't slip.

"No reason. I'm just happy with the state of the world." Lily too cracked a grin at the funnily un-Marly-like comment.

"So where have you been?" Lily asked curiously although knowing the answer. She must have been with Remus although she still hadn't managed to force a confession out of her yet. To be honest, she hadn't quite taken the plunge and asked up till now.

"Oh, just around." Marly replied carelessly with a shrug. A long pause followed as Marly examined her fingernails.

"Are you seeing Remus?" Lily blurted. Marly stopped her intense investigation of her nails and sat still.

"What?"

Lily repeated the question and to her surprise Marly burst out laughing. Rather taken aback Lily waited for her friend's giggles to subside before she received a much wanted explanation.

"You think… Remus and I… are going out?" Marly managed between bursts of laughter. Lily nodded. Sure she had thought it was funny when Sirius had first suggested it but now she got used to the idea it seemed reasonable enough. Like James had pointed out before, opposites attract. Sometimes. When they don't completely repel each other.

"What? I don't see what's so funny. You've both been sneaking off all the time and it's a reasonable conclusion that…" Lily trailed off defensively as Marly burst into another fit of giggles.

"We've both been sneaking off with _different_ people. We accidentally bumped into each other in the corridor that night. It never occurred to me you'd assume we were sneaking of _with each other_." Marly exclaimed.

Lily muttered a soft, and slightly embarrassed 'oh'. Pause.

"So if you and Remus haven't been sneaking off together, where have you been sneaking off to?" Lily enquired curiously.

Marly looked out the open window before replying. "I've been sneaking off with someone else." She replied slowly. Lily's eyebrows rose up into her hairline.

"Who?"

"Caradoc Dearborn. He's a seventh year _Hufflepuff_." Marly coloured ever so faintly and looked away.

"How serious is it?" Not trying to be nosy but Lily was incredibly curious. Marly, however now over the initial step didn't seem to mind.

She shrugged. "Not very. For the moment we're just hanging out." Lily raised her eyebrows, a knowing glint in her eyes and Marly grinned. "We don't only snog. We do talk too!" She said defensively and Lily grinned back.

"I want to take this one slowly." Marly said, sobering up. Lily nodded gently, watching her friend slightly worriedly but Marly gave her an encouraging smile noticing her look. Lily smiled a little sheepishly.

"So if you've been sneaking off with Caradoc, who has Remus been sneaking off with?"

A small frown appeared across Marly's pretty face. "I don't actually know. He never said. To be honest he never would have even told me if I hadn't seen her leave when I ran into him in the corridor. I think she's a seventh year Hufflepuff but I'm not so sure." Marly answered thoughtfully.

"Right. I'm off." Marly said suddenly, jumping up from the bed and walking over to the door. Lily's eyes watched her curiously.

"To see the ever mysterious Caradoc?" Lily asked slyly. Marly grinned.

"Of course. What did you think all the primping was for?" Concentrating more on their conversation, Lily had barely registered Marly touching up her near perfect make up and running some hair potion through her curls.

Just as Marly was nearly out the door Lily called her back. "Just for the record, I've only met him a couple times but Caradoc's a good guy. I think he'll be good for you." Lily gave her a kind smile which she returned.

"Thanks Lily. That means a lot to me." She replied sincerely. And with that she left for her date leaving Lily in the quiet of the dormitory.

---

Leaving the silent dormitory Lily proceeded down the stairs into the busy common room. After a quick scan of the crowd she spotted the four Marauders on one of the far tables. Remus and Sirius were deeply engrossed in a game of chess while Peter tried to fit an entire pack of chocolate frogs in his mouth all at once and James stared aimlessly into the fire apparently lost in thought.

A small smile appeared on Lily's face as she watched Sirius' brow creased in concentration at his obviously losing troops. Approaching James she tapped him lightly on the shoulder and watched in amusement as he jumped like a startled rabbit.

"Hey. Can I talk to you for a minute?" Nodding, James followed her out of the common room watching her expectantly.

"You haven't talked to Remus have you?" James shook his head uncertainly but Lily breathed a soft sigh of relief. "Well, good, 'cause we got the wrong end of the story."

Carefully Lily explained the situation and what Marly had told her, a small smile at their stupidity evident on her face.

"I knew they couldn't be seeing each other. It would just be too weird. I said so all along." Nodding fervently, a humorous spark in his hazel eyes gave James away.

"Oi." Lily swatted him playfully and James shook his head.

"Nup. It was all your and Sirius' ridiculous idea. I was right from the start." His lips twitched and his eyes were shining. He was joking with her and Lily felt relieved at the distraction at the tension between them.

---

"Moony, I can't believe you didn't tell us you have a girlfriend!" Sirius suddenly burst out as several heads turned curiously in their direction.

Sirius had been twitching constantly since James had told him Moony's secret. He had also sworn that he wouldn't blurt it out but would instead wait for either Remus to confide the information after some careful probing from James, or James would casually ask the question. However, Sirius seemed to find the pressure of the situation all too much and had instead done exactly what James had told him not to do. Blurted it out and drawn everybody's attention to the matter.

James whacked Sirius on the back of the head while Remus promptly turned the colour of a tomato.

"What he meant to say," Butted in James in a very bad attempt to relieve some of the tension. "Is… is… isn't the weather lovely today?" Smiling brightly, James indicated to the dingy little window through which a very grey and gloomy day could be seen.

Sirius looked at him like he was insane and Remus gave James a grateful, if still slightly embarrassed, smile.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Sirius demanded ignoring James pointed glares and repeated blows to the back of his head. Remus now resembled a tomato with very bad sunburn.

"So you haven't been going to the library all the time?" Peter asked dumbly just catching on. The others rolled their eyes at him.

When Remus still didn't say anything, Sirius continued his blunt questions. "What's her name? What year is she in? She's not a Slytherin is she Moony? Please tell me she's not! I don't think I could handle it if she was!" He said despairingly, clinging to Remus' robes pleadingly to many raised eyebrows.

"She's a seventh year Ravenclaw and her name's Katherine Williams." Remus muttered reluctantly.

"I think I know her!" Sirius said in glee. "She's the blonde with those legs that go on for miles isn't she? Wait no, is she the one with the long brown hair and the big –"

"Thanks Sirius." Remus cut in with gritted teeth. "She isn't a member of your fan club so you probably wouldn't know her."

Sirius looked taken aback. "She isn't a weird booky type is she?"

James shook his head at his severely mentally challenged friend.

"No she's not. Not that reading books is 'weird' and there is nothing wrong with going to the library. For your information she is on the quidditch team and yes she _is_ a prefect." Remus attempted to explain in exasperation and predicting Sirius' next question.

"Is she really ugly? Is that why you didn't tell us?" Sirius pestered to a now very aggrieved Remus.

"Would you listen to yourself!" Remus said angrily. "Is that all that matters to you? Appearances and reputation? What about a person's personality? Does that mean nothing?"

Sirius shrugged. "Of course that's all that matters. What do personalities count in the bedroom?"

Remus looked disgusted but shook his head in defeat. Sirius would never learn. Well, maybe he would but he didn't seem to be very receptive as yet.

"No, she's not ugly. I think she's very pretty but I suppose you wouldn't think so because she doesn't fawn at your feet or wander around in next to nothing trying to flaunt herself." Remus told his friends.

"Well if she's not bad looking, why didn't you tell us?" Would Sirius give up with the damned questions already!

Remus grew slightly uncomfortable and wouldn't look at his friends. "Because. I knew you'd make a big deal out of it and I don't know how serious it is between us yet. I just wanted to be sure before I told you in which case the whole school would then know because you are the biggest blabbermouths in the school."

Sirius didn't find this explanation wholly satisfactory. Yet again he opened his giant yapper to say something else when Remus cut him off.

"It's different for you guys. You don't have a massive secret looming over you affecting every possible relationship you have." Remus said sadly. His 'furry little problem' affected everything. One could try and say that you could just accept it and live our life without worrying or letting it get in the way. But it did get in the way. There was no way of getting around the fact that he turned into a fully fledged monster every month and that affected everything.

"Moony –" James tried but Remus wouldn't have any of it.

"Look, just accept that I didn't tell you. You may not think it's a big deal but I do and as it's my relationship, that's all that matters." He said more forcefully than they had heard him.

"Moony –"

"Don't worry about it." Remus muttered gruffly. Silence descended on the group and for once in his life Sirius managed to keep his mouth under control.

"Can we meet her?" Sirius asked breaking the quiet. Remus' head shot up.

"What?"

"I said can we meet her?" He repeated. Remus was baffled. Why did they want to meet her? Voicing his thoughts his friends looked at him loyally.

"Because, she has to meet the Marauder seal of approval before we allow you to go out with her." Sirius said with a smug smile. James had that humorous twinkle back in his eyes and Remus couldn't restrain a small grin.

"Before _you_ allow _me_?" Remus asked dryly but they ignored him.

"Please?" Sirius made a sickening sight fluttering his eyelashes in what he thought was an enticing manner.

Not taking no for and answer, Sirius pestered until Remus reluctantly gave in. Sirius was truly impossible.

The things we do for our friends, Remus thought with a wry smile. He just sincerely hoped they wouldn't completely embarrass him or cause utter mayhem. But knowing them, he was sure they would.


	28. Interrogation

**Thanks Spirit, Violin, marauders rox, DraceHermioneFan1295, lil pink pixie and chickibabe46 for reviewing :-). I'm sorry for the disappointment with the Marly/Remus thing but I have no intention to pair up any of the Marauders with Lily's friends. While I haven't been completely successful in avoiding some of the other Lily/James clichés, this is one that I have managed to work out of this story. Happy New Year to all of you, wow, I can't believe it is 2007 already!**

**This chapter is a little drifty I'm afraid. Please do tell me if you think some chapters get a bit off track from the major story, if you're bored or would like more/less from particular characters. While this whole story has a definite plot/plan, there is room for changes depending on feedback. Constructive criticism is always appreciated. I always make note of it but unfortunately not all of it I will actually have effect on the story. Sorry for the drabble… here's the next chapter.**

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**Ch 28: Interrogation**

"Just a quick hello and that's it okay?" Remus said firmly although he couldn't help but let out a hint of the nervousness he felt.

"Chill Moony. Don't worry so much. Would we embarrass you?" Sirius said in what he hoped was a reassuring tone but only served to increase Remus' sense of dread. His honest answer to that question would have to be yes.

"Right. Well I'll see you later then will I?" Remus asked as if hoping his friend's answer would have changed in the last 30 seconds.

"Too right you will." Sirius said cheerfully. A little too cheerfully.

Half an hour later Remus and Katherine were happily sitting down by the lake. Not ones for public displays of affection they were instead sitting under the shady beech tree talking happily, their feet dangling in the cool lake. Their study books were perched neatly at the base of the tree waiting to be opened.

In his cheerful state, Remus had momentarily forgotten the pending arrival of his boisterous friends. He did feel slightly guilty at his apprehension and disloyal attitude but he had known them for too long to know that they couldn't resist wreaking havoc.

In his defence, Remus was quite an insecure person. Shunned often because of his unfortunate condition, acceptance meant a lot to him. Maybe it wasn't the best way to live your life but hey, we don't always make the best decisions do we?

Katherine's gentle and warm nature made him exceedingly happy in her company. For lack of any other way of putting it, she made him feel like any other ordinary guy. And even with his uncertainties with their relationship, Remus didn't want anything to sabotage it.

"Moony, is that you? Well, fancy seeing you here. Who would have thought?" Sirius cracked a grin and Remus let out a soft groan. When he had said for them to casually walk up _without_ making it obvious that they had planned it, this is not what he had meant.

"Sirius, Peter, James… oh and Lily. What a surprise seeing you here." Remus replied through gritted teeth.

Watching this uncomfortable exchange, Katherine looked a mix between amused and very confused.

"Guys, this is Katherine. Katherine… well I'm sure you know who they are." Remus said uncomfortably while Sirius grinned uncontrollably, Peter picked his nose in what he thought was an inconspicuous way and James looked constipated in his effort not to laugh while Lily eyed the lot of them curiously.

"Hi." Katherine greeted with a smile.

"Well, it's been lovely to run into you." Remus said quickly. "I'll catch up with you later. I'm sure you're very busy. Thanks for stopping by."

Ignoring Remus' pointed hint to leave, Sirius instead took a seat right between Katherine and Remus, James and Peter following suit, Lily slightly hesitantly behind them.

James bit back a laugh as Sirius threw his arms around the couple and grinned cheerfully.

"So, what do you think of our good friend Moony here?" Sirius asked Katherine conversationally and ignoring Remus' death glare.

"Sirius I really don't think –" Remus butted in only to be interrupted by Sirius.

"I tell you, he's come a long way recently. Used to be a shy little bugger and now look at him." Sirius clapped him friendlily on the back. "He's quite the ladies man."

"You can shut u–"

"Course we don't tell anyone about the teddy bear incident. It would do horrors to his reputation, and we wouldn't want to embarrass him now would we?" Sirius continued carelessly while Remus' cheeks flamed.

"The teddy bear incident?" Katherine asked curiously with a glance at a highly uncomfortable Remus. "What have you been hiding from me Remus?" She asked jokingly. Remus mumbled something incoherent.

Sirius pulled a face before he continued. "Back in fourth year poor Remus here was having a few anxiety issues over his first date. Bit of performance anxiety you could say." Remus blushed scarlet and mumbled something else. "He was so nervous that she would dump him that we walked into the dorms one day and caught him practising with Peter's teddy bear."

"Practising what?" Katherine asked confused.

"Snogging. It was a rather sickening sight I tell you." Sirius said with a wrinkled face while Peter looked appalled.

"You did _what_ with Tinkerbelle?" He spluttered.

"Thanks Sirius. While you're company has been much appreciated, feel free to leave any time." Remus said with forced calm.

"Well, he's improved dramatically." Katherine said with a joking wink at Remus who flushed, if possible, even darker.

Peter was still muttering 'poor Tinkerbelle' under his breath with a very traumatised look on his face.

"Don't feel obligated to stick around. You're welcome to –" Remus tried again, this time getting even more desperate for Sirius to leave.

"I suppose he didn't tell you about the hairy incident back in fifth year either?" Sirius asked curiously. Katherine shook her head.

"How many 'incidents' are there exactly?" She asked with a laugh.

"Oh, there's plenty." James answered grinning.

"This particular one was the summer before fifth year when Moony decided he'd experiment with facial hair and decided to grow a goatee." Sirius continued, pulling a face while Katherine laughed.

"It wasn't an attractive look. We told him he looked like Bobbin Wood." Sirius said with a laugh while the others looked at him curiously.

"Who on earth is Bobbin Wood?" James asked. Sirius brow furrowed for a minute as he thought.

"You're right. That wasn't it. You know the one, the robber who stole things and gave it to the poor people. What's his name… eagle… seagull… Pigeon Cloak was it?"

"You don't mean Robin Hood by any chance do you Sirius?" Remus asked dryly, fighting back a laugh.

Sirius grinned. "That's the one. Rodney Hood. That's who Remus looked like. Eventually we convinced him to shave it off though."

"I think that's enough stories for today." Remus said while the other laughed.

Remus was beginning to think that this was worse than introducing your girlfriend to your mother. She was the one who was supposed to sprout all the embarrassing stories from your childhood, not your friends.

"At least I didn't show her the photo!" Sirius said defensively before leaning over to Katherine. "Did you want to see it?"

He reached into his pocket and Remus' face paled. "I don't think so Sirius." He said forcefully. For the first time Sirius semi-listened to what Remus had told him.

"Maybe another time." He reasoned with a wink and a nod.

"Would you look at the time. I think it's time for you to leave now Sirius!" Remus said with fake brightness.

"Do you like our pranks?" Sirius asked suddenly, ignoring Remus. While grateful that he wasn't sharing any more embarrassing stories, Remus was annoyed that he still couldn't take the (not very subtle) hint to leave _now_.

Katherine nodded enthusiastically. "They're hilarious! I loved the one the other day when you made Severus Snape sing in limericks for the whole day." She said with a laugh.

James shifted slightly uncomfortably under Lily's stare and pretended to watch something in the grass with intense interest. He had clean forgotten to tell her about that prank.

"And who do you think is the handsomest Marauder?" Sirius tossed his hair exaggeratedly.

"Don't answer that." Remus butted in while Katherine laughed.

"Do you like dogs?" Sirius asked.

"Yes, I love them. My parents have a big German Sheppard at home." Katherine said happily. Sirius grinned in satisfaction with her answer while James rolled his eyes.

Finished his interrogation and seemingly approving, Sirius clapped Remus on the back. "Well done mate. You picked a good one. She's a keeper." He congratulated happily.

Remus gave him a dry look and Katherine flushed slightly but laughed all the same.

"Thanks Sirius. I'm so glad I have your seel of approval." He muttered sarcastically.

Sirius, clearly missing, or ignoring, the sarcasm beamed. "Always here to help Moony."

"Now, do you think you have somewhere else to be now?" Remus probed and Sirius finally got the hint.

"Right you are Moony. James, Peter, Lily and I must be of to… er… knit." Pulling the others up, Sirius bounded happily back up to the castle and finally _finally_, Remus and Katherine were left alone again.

"Sorry about him." Remus muttered, still a little mortified.

Katherine smiled kindly and took his hand. "Don't worry. He was a laugh. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to encourage him. I hope you weren't too embarrassed." Remus shrugged but his pink cheeks indicated his answer.

"Well, I suppose I have to tell you some of my embarrassing stories to make it up to you." She said with a grin. Remus' mouth twitched.

"Oh yeah? What have you got to rival the 'incidents' of Remus Lupin?" He teased.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Katherine joked with raised eyebrows. Remus laughed and she leant over and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. Feeling full of happiness despite his earlier embarrassment Remus realised that Sirius was right. She was a keeper.

---

"He looks happy doesn't he?" Lily asked pensively as her and the Marauders minus Remus crowded around one of the windows looking out onto the grounds.

James gave a grunt of approval.

"Ouch. Wormtail you're stepping on my foot." Sirius whined loudly. The sound of shuffling could be heard and a squeak from Peter as he toppled over.

"Sirius, move you're fat head, I can't see." James moaned as he gave Sirius a poke in the ribs to make him move. Who knew they would all be quite so enthused to spy on Remus out a window?

"Okay, I'm going to leave you guys now." Lily muttered. "This whole spying on Remus thing is just plain weird. Seya James." She turned to walk down the corridor but James caught up to her.

"Aww, would you look at that Pete. Love is in the air. Everywhere I look around. Love is in the – oomph. Ouch. That's hurt."

Sirius rubbed his foot from where Peter had just stamped on it so shut up his awful singing.

"Please don't sing ever again." James said as he pretended to make retching noises to a weirded out looking Lily.

Looking huffy, Sirius chose not to respond to that comment.

"I was simply making a point. We're the only ones left. Your and I are going to be next Pete." Sirius said before suddenly realising that that could come across as sounding rather wrong.

"Ergh! Yuk. Not like that! I just meant – never mind." Sirius sighed as gales of laughter down the corridor from James and Lily reached his ears. Peter didn't seem to get it and rather than explaining, Sirius let him keep the confused look that was currently covering his face.

"How about we leave now?" James whispered into Lily's ear to which she nodded agreeably.

"Would you fancy a walk with me Lily Evans?" James asked humbly while offering his hand. With a smile Lily accepted the proffered hand.

"That's incredibly kind of you to offer to accompany me to the library. I thought you'd never ask." Lily replied with a smirk. James turned to her with disgusted expression.

Hand in hand they walked down the corridor still happily arguing over whether or not they were going to the library (Lily) or heading to a comfy broom closet (James), the strangled sounds of Sirius singing 'love is in the air' following them.

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**Sorry this chapter is quite short. I've written some of the ending but I'm not quite sure yet whether it will be two chapters or one very long chapter but either way, hopefully it will make up for this chapter since it should be up tomorrow or the next day. If you have any questions that need to be resolved before the end now is the time to ask them in a review. xx**


	29. Closed Doors

**Thanks so much to all my awesome reviewers: lil'z'508, Violin, messyblackhair66, Spirit, Lady Potter of Tortall (3 times!), Wanderer27, STonks, Super Cara (3 times!), hermione-g-wanna-be, Lilyluvr, Anime Wildfire and Deedsla.**

**This is the final chapter guys! Thanks for all your suggestions. I really liked some of them although I didn't want to add in too many twist in the final chappie. I did however try and put in some more LJ alone time (and of course snogging). I'm sorry I didn't update as soon as I promised, first my mum banned me from the computer until I cleaned my room and then fanfic wouldn't upload the chapter… but it's here now.**

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**Ch 29: Closing Doors**

Time seemed to have been bewitched to go extra fast in Hogwarts castle as the end of the school year approached far too quickly for liking. For some this was an exciting time where they could look forward to returning home to their families. For the seventh years it was nothing short of causing a panic attack.

Calming potions were being given out regularly to hysterical seventh years and the mounting pressure was pushing more and more to breaking point.

Dark shadows hung under Lily's eyes as she spent every spare minute studying for NEWTs. She'd barely had a proper conversation with any of her friends in days and relaxation times were short and far between (about ten minutes every three weeks or so).

But Lily certainly wasn't the only one who had barely slept in recent weeks. The house common rooms barely emptied til the early hours of the morning and were occupied again barely a few hours later. Arguments over book loans were aggravating many and chocolate was on high demand.

"I'm never going to remember all this." Close to tears Lily was frantically trying to recall all she had been memorising for weeks only to find her mind a complete blank. Despite it being well past midnight she was determined to keep studying through the night.

"Shhh. You'll be fine Lily. Just relax or you will forget everything. The more you stress the harder it will be to remember." James tried to calmly sooth his near hysterical girlfriend.

Lily shook her head and a few tears dripped onto her page. Gently, James wiped them away and rubbed her back soothingly.

"Get some sleep Lily. You'll feel much better for it and you'll be able to study better." He advised but Lily tensed at his words.

"James, NEWTs are in three days! I can't go to sleep! I have to memorise all of this." She gestured wildly to the table, barely visible beneath piles of work. Her voice rose in hysteria and finally cracked as a fresh wave of panic-stricken tears spilled down her cheeks.

"And your memory will be working much better after a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. Trust me."

In her hysterical and exhausted state, Lily allowed herself to be steered to the stairs leading up to the girls' dormitory. James gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead before she dragged her weary frame up the never ending staircase to her inviting bed in which she promptly fell on to and was out for the count.

For one of the rare occasions, James too had been working hard. With quidditch it wouldn't be out of the ordinary. With school work, it was a rarity. His mind felt clogged with information that had never seemed significant until now and he seemed to be getting nowhere fast in remembering any of it.

After six straight hours of sleep, Lily was feeling markedly refreshed for a long weekend of studying that lay ahead of her. James accompanied her to the library far more times that he was happy with and together they made their way through a marked amount of revision. Lily's nerves settled slightly as James tested her and she answered each question thoughtfully, her confidence growing with each correct answer.

"Bed." James said firmly at 10 o'clock Sunday night as they sat in the Gryffindor common room.

Lily looked up at him in surprise assuming he was joking until she noticed the serious expression on his face.

She opened her mouth to protest but James silenced her by pressing his lips to hers in a sweet kiss.

"No buts. Staying up all night will serve no other purpose than making you fall asleep half way through your exams. Have an early night and then you'll feel refreshed and can wake up early for some last minute revision."

Giving him a weak smile, Lily knew he was right. Carefully packing up her mound of work she retreated to her dormitory for some well earned rest.

Exam week passed in the blink of an eye and all the seventh years were at last able to breathe a sigh of relief. Nothing to worry about until they received their results during the summer. Fretting over where they had gone wrong was useless as there was little they could do about it now.

"I'm glad that's over." Remus said with a contented sigh as he splashed some water at an oblivious Katherine beside him.

A large group of seventh years were all happily lounging in the shade by the lake enjoying their free time.

'Hmmm." Lily sighed lazily in agreement, her head resting comfortably on James' chest as she dozed in the dying sun.

"I wonder how Snivelly went in his exams." Sirius said innocently, fooling no one.

"What did you do Sirius? You better not have sabotaged anyone's NEWTs. You know –"

"– important they are." Clara finished with a laugh. Lily scowled at her but waited expectantly for Sirius to answer.

"What do you take me for?" Sirius asked in a wounded tone through which his amusement wasn't well hidden. "Of course I didn't. I just left him a little reminder." The grin was evident in his voice and many suspicious glances were cast his way.

"That reminder being?" Marly asked curiously.

Sirius chuckled. "That my friends will remain a mystery." They rolled their eyes knowing that the strictest measures had been placed for the exams that whatever he had done couldn't have been _that_ bad.

"Graduation tomorrow." Caradoc said a little sadly.

In the past days since the end of exams, Caradoc and Marly had also taken to hanging out with the Marauders plus Lily, Katherine and Clara. They were cute together Lily had to admit and it made her smile to see her friend so happy. She still didn't know how serious it was between the two of them yet but for now Marly seemed content and that was all that really mattered.

A pensive silence descended on them as they watched the sun set slowly, casting brilliantly coloured shadows across the lawn and the stone walls of the castle. They would all miss this place. But tonight wasn't the time for being sad. That's what tomorrow's graduation was for. Tonight was about spending those last few hours with the people they had been known for the past seven years. A time to enjoy that last time in a place that had become home to all of them.

"We've about half an hour before it gets too dark. Who's up for a last game of quidditch?" James suggested to a mumble of agreement as Sirius, Remus, Katherine, Caradoc and Peter rose to join him.

Disappointed at the absence of her pillow, Lily stretched lazily on the grass and yawned loudly. From their spot by the lake they could hear the distant yelling from the quidditch pitch as five figures on broomsticks zoomed around.

"We haven't seen much of Natalie in a while have we?" Clara asked sadly.

Natalie had indeed taken Marly's 'treachery' and 'fraternising with the enemy' rather badly and was still distant with all of them. The initial coldness had melted but the gap between all of them had stayed. They were all friendly with one another but Natalie had taken to hanging out with different people and spent less and less time with her dorm mates.

"I guess we just drifted apart." Lily said pensively and Clara made a noise of agreement.

While Natalie had always been the most aloof in the group of four she had still very much been part of the gang. But during the second part of the year their relationship had taken a shift and she had drifted away from all of them.

"It was my fault. After Will she barely talked to me for weeks and you guys too." Marly said heavily.

"Nah. I think it would have happened anyway. Sometimes people just grow apart with time and the situation with Will was just the obvious turning point. Natalie would have moved away from us anyway." Lily argued.

"Do you think we'll see her when we leave?" Marly asked. Lily shook her head. Maybe they might run into each other in Diagon Alley, have a quick laugh, maybe a butterbeer and catch up but they wouldn't be close.

"What about us?" Clara questioned with a hint of trepidation in her voice.

"Of course." Lily stated firmly. "Marly for one is stuck with me and we'll see you all the time too."

Lily had been avoiding placing plans for when she left Hogwarts. She supposed she had always just assumed she would live with her parents until she had the money to afford a place of her own. But with them gone she had been left with Petunia (an option she never even considered) or any other place she could think of. Being the best friend that she was Marly had immediately offered for Lily to stay with her for as long as she wanted, an offer Lily had gratefully accepted.

"How are things with Caradoc?" Lily enquired to Marly, watching with happiness as a beatific smile covered her friend's face.

"Really good." Marly sighed happily. "If only I could get rid of that creepy stalker!"

Lily and Clara looked up in surprise. This they hadn't heard anything about.

"Stalker?" Lily enquired curiously.

Marly nodded unhappily. "You know that scary looking blonde Slytherin? Travers I think. The past few months, ever since I broke up with Will he's been following me. It's gotten worse lately and the other day I yelled at him to leave me alone when he followed me all the way to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. He hasn't seemed to have gotten the hint since I caught him walking suspiciously behind me yesterday." Marly explained to her stunned friends.

"It's no big deal. A little creepy but fairly harmless." Marly said quickly, noting the worried faces.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Lily asked, still looking anxiously at Marly.

She shrugged. "I kind of forgot about it to be honest. And we've all been so stressed with NEWTs it's hardly seemed very important."

They trailed off into comfortable silence again and watched with amusement as the giant squid flicked water at them with its long tentacles.

As the last rays of light faded and the mosquitoes grew fierce, they gathered their few belongings and walked back up to the castle.

---

"Clara, get out of the bathroom. We have to be down there in five minutes." Lily said impatiently as she hammered on the door with her toothbrush sticking out of her mouth.

Breakfast had been a hurried affair for the seventh years before the official graduation. Lily barely even had time to appreciate her last plate of Hogwarts' wonderful maple syrup covered pancakes.

Finally able to get in the bathroom, Lily hurriedly spat out her mouthful of toothpaste and rinsed her mouth with water before shoving the last of her belongings into her trunk. With a last scan around the room for anything she may have left behind Lily coaxed an unhappy Hecate into her wicker basket.

Together the girls hurried down to the grounds where rows of chairs and an impressive looking stage had been set up. Being this year's Heads and being responsible for planning the graduation ceremony, Lily and James had settled for something simple.

"See you guys later." Lily whispered to her friends as they took seats somewhere in the middle while Lily proceeded to the front where she could already see James standing. Beaming at the student filing into the rows, Professor Dumbledore was already standing in the middle of the stage by a pedestal.

Lily wrung her hands nervously. She hadn't ever been very good at public speaking. Noticing her anxiety, James squeezed her hand and gave her a reassuring smile.

"Today we are here to say goodbye to another year." The chatter immediately stopped at Professor Dumbledore's voice and he smiled at the students in front of him. "But more importantly, it is a time to say goodbye to all you have known for the past seven years. To say goodbye to the teachers who have worked tirelessly to help you get to where you are now and the students who have been your peers and friends."

"I hope your time here at Hogwarts has been meant something special to each and every one of you. And now, without further adieu, I would like to hand you over to this year's Head Boy and Girl, James Potter and Lily Evans."

With a nod, Professor Dumbledore moved away for Lily and James. Her nerves jangled and a deep swell of emotion filled her as Lily stepped up to the podium. She could feel all the pairs of eyes following her and nervously held her breath.

Muttering a quick _sonorous_ charm, James addressed to students. "Firstly I'd just like to say thank you. You've all made my time at Hogwarts one of fond memories that will stick with me forever. I always had my doubts about whether I'd make it this far but surprisingly I did. We've all achieved so much and should all be proud of that. Thanks to my teachers who have put up with all my pranking and inattention. Thanks to all of my peers and friends who have been my life support. And thanks to Lily, my fellow Head. I've had the pleasure of working with her this year and she has taught me so much about life and love and has finally helped me grow up, to a degree, something we all thought wasn't possible. Some of you I will never see again after today but I wish you all the best for the future."

Casting the counter spell James stood back for Lily. His encouraging smile gave her a small boost of confidence and she hitched a sure smile on her face before turning to her peers.

"When I first received my Hogwarts letter it was like something out of my wildest dreams. That letter changed my whole life and as long as I live I will never regret having received it. Since then my life has been a whirlwind of the unexpected and not a moment of it will I ever forget."

Lily took a deep steadying breath before continuing. "One of the most important things I ever learnt was something a very wise person once told me. 'Life goes on.' And it does. Things aren't always easy and sometimes it would just be easier just to give up. But we don't. We get through it as best we can and these experiences become some of the things that make us stronger and mould us into the people we are today."

"This year wouldn't have been the same without all of you. Through the stress of exams, the terror of war, the tragedy of loss, the joy of love and the bumpy road of life, we've all faced it together and I know I will cherish those memories. And now as we leave the safety of what we've known and enter a world of so many decisions and the fear of what the future holds, know that you can do anything you want. No dream is too far out of reach if you strive to achieve it."

"Live every moment of your life to the fullest and don't hold back. With a war raging around us the most important thing we can do is stick together for it's our strongest force against the enemy. Follow your heart and live your dreams. Don't take anything for granted. Never underestimate the power of love and friendship as they will be the most precious things you will ever know."

"As a last thing I want to thank all of my teachers for being my mentors and guiding me through. I want to thank my friends for having unwavering faith in me supporting me through everything. I want to thank every one of my peers for all the wonderful memories we've had. And lastly I want to wish every one of you the best for whatever you choose to do in the future. Thank you."

Lily voice cracked slightly on her last words. Emotion rose in her chest and the end was really hitting her hard. A tear leaked out of her eye as she turned away from the crowd.

Professor Dumbledore gave her a kind smile as he once again addressed the audience. The Heads of Houses rose and too stood up on the stage to present their graduating certificates. As each name was called Lily watched the student shake hands with their Head of House. When her own name was called Lily's legs felt like jelly. After this she was officially graduated from Hogwarts.

She shook Professor McGonagall's hand firmly and the old woman gave her a rare smile. Back in her seat Lily grinned broadly as each of her friends and classmates received their certificates. All too soon it was over and Lily felt herself being squashed in a hug.

"We did it!" Marly squealed in her ear.

"We did, didn't we?" Lily agreed squeezing her back tightly.

"Great speech Lily. Well done." Caradoc congratulated, coming over to give Marly a kiss causing her to uncharacteristically blush (in a good way).

"Thanks." Lily smiled gratefully. "Have you seen James anywhere?" Craning her neck of the tide of people, Lily peered around anxiously for James.

"Guess who?" A pair of hands from behind her covered her eyes and warm breath tickled her ear.

Lily felt herself being spun around and a soft pair of lips made contact with her own. Her eyes fluttered open as that same pair of arm wrapped themselves around her, pulling her tight against their owner.

"Well done up there Lil." James said warmly as he drew her into an embrace. "Ready to go now?"

Lily could here the sounds of students' loud chatter and farewells around her as they clambered into carriages to take them to Hogsmeade station. Sirius was shouting loudly at them but Lily buried her face deeper into James' chest feeling her tears absorb into his robes.

"Hey, are you okay?" James' concerned voice sounded above her but Lily still didn't move.

So many emotions were bubbling through her but loudest of all was the one screaming 'I don't want to leave.' This was her home. It had been for seven years and it always would be. The only life she had always known was her muggle childhood with her parents but that was a thing of the past. A distant memory that couldn't affect her future.

James pulled gently away from her and his bright hazel eyes bore into her tear filled ones. Tenderly he wiped away her tears with light fingers and pushed her hair behind her ears. Putting on a brave smile, Lily collected herself.

"I'm fine. Ready?" Lacing her small fingers with his, they made their way over to one of the empty carriages.

The carriage rocked gently along the bumpy path and Lily rested her head against the side feeling her head rise and fall in time to the carriage. Her eyes were glued to the wide grassy landscape on which an old stone castle sat. The magnificent Hogwarts Castle stood proudly, illuminated by the morning sun and the giant squid was waving his tentacles in farewell (either that or he was simply stretching).

Lily barely registered getting aboard the scarlet steam train for the final time. Robotically she followed her friends who were leading the way to an empty carriage somewhere. Her ears zoned out of the noisy voices around her and she clutched tightly to James' hand like a lost little girl.

The train ride passed far more quickly than usual as Lily watched the countryside zoom past her while her friends laughed and played exploding snap around her. The lunch trolley came and went and half the contents seemed to have been bought by Sirius and Peter.

"You want to take a walk?" James whispered to Lily while Sirius and Marly argued over a pumpkin pasty. Nodding Lily followed him until they came across an empty compartment at the very back of the train.

"You're really going to miss this place, huh?" James asked softly as she snuggled into him on the seat.

"It's home." Lily whispered back willing herself not to cry again.

"Do you think you'll ever be able to call somewhere else home?" James asked cautiously.

Lily shrugged. "I don't know. Hogwarts is all I have left. I would never be able to call a place with my sister home. And I know that I'm always welcome at Marly's place but it's not the same you know? That's her family, her home. And soon she's going to want to plan her future and she can't always be trying to help me out too."

James swallowed but his throat felt slightly constricted. For a reason only he knew he felt extremely nervous all of a sudden and he couldn't seem to get out what he wanted to say so instead he settled for nodding.

"Are you still worried?" He asked instead.

Lily nodded and looked away. For a moment she looked out the window before speaking. "Now that exams are over…" She trailed off uncertainly and a heavy silence followed. They had both put off this discussion for as long as possible but on their last day it was getting near impossible to ignore it any longer. "What's going to happen to us James?" Her eyes were dry but they held all the fear she felt inside her.

"I love you Lily and I don't want to lose you. I suppose we'll just have to work around everything to make it work." James said thickly.

"I love you too James." Lily whispered. James' eyes widened.

It had taken her months to finally express those three words James had been telling her since before they were going out. Months it had taken her to finally figure out what it meant. But now she knew. It was the way she ached for him whenever he wasn't around. It was the way her heart swelled and everything felt brighter when he was around. It was knowing that she would do anything for him, to stay with him, to spend the rest of her life with him even. It was so many emotions and feelings rolled into one little word that held so much.

A euphoric smile crossed James' face as he looked at the girl who had stolen his heart. He didn't need to say anything and she didn't need him to.

Leaning over James captured Lily's lips with his own. His hands moved up to gently caress her face. Slowly Lily felt James ease her body back onto the seat, his body flush against hers as he wove his hands into her fiery hair. Kissing him back with a passion she had never felt before, Lily wrapped her own arms around his neck and deepened the kiss.

Forgetting all her earlier sadness, Lily felt all her worries fly out the window as James kissed her thoroughly. Moving down he left a trail of soft butterfly kisses across her face before gently kissing her neck. His eyes were clouded with desire and Lily felt herself sigh with pleasure.

"Do you think we'd better get back to the others?" Lily asked quietly, knowing they should go back before they worried but half-heartedly wishing she could stay here until they reached Kings Cross Station.

"I suppose." James mumbled back, his breath tickling her skin. However he made no indication of getting up and moved back up to kiss her full on the lips.

"Lily, can I ask you something?" James asked between kisses.

"Uh huh." She agreed.

"Will you move in with me?" He mumbled against her lips. Startled, Lily pulled away.

"What?"

Sitting up properly, James looked at her and found his nerves returning.

"You don't have to say yes. I know you have a place to stay with Marly and I don't want to pressure you or anything. I don't have a place of my own yet but I thought I'd offer if you wanted to move in with me." James babbled.

Lily still looked a little shell shocked but a small smile was beginning to appear.

"You want me to move in with you? To your parents' place?" She asked just to be sure she understood what he was asking.

"I didn't think you'd want to. You'd much rather stay with Marly but I just thought… you know. You could have your own room even. But you know, that's fine if you don't want to. I don't want you to feel pressured at all." He rambled. Lily was definitely smiling now.

She brought her lips to his and kissed him gently. "I'd love to."

"You what?" James asked astounded.

"I would love to move in with you." Her smile was huge.

Maybe the end of school and her otherwise limited housing options had brought this on sooner than it might have otherwise. Maybe the raging war around them and the high casualty rate at the hand of the Death Eaters caused people to make decisions earlier than they might have. But Lily felt truly happy at the prospect at living with James. She knew it wouldn't always be easy, especially at first, but it was a chance she was more than willing to take.

She would take him up on the separate bedrooms for the time being. Lily wasn't sure she was ready for him to see her in her early morning glory just yet. Nor was she ready for… other stuff yet either. But she did want this and she was almost certain that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.

"You really want to?"

"I really want to." Lily confirmed giving him another kiss. Wrapping his arms around her again he pulled her back on top of him, kissing her firmly. She giggled against his lips but made no move to push him off her.

---

Ten minutes later they arrived back at the compartment, their hands intertwined and gigantic grins covering their faces.

"Well look whose smiling now then." Marly said as they took a seat.

"I wonder where you too have been." Sirius added slyly with a smirk. "'Walking' I'm sure." Lily blushed but her smile didn't fade.

A quiet knock on the door interrupted them and the girls' startled faces registered a slightly uncomfortable looking Natalie.

"I think I need to use the bathroom." Sirius stood up, for once in his life taking note of one of those 'moments' when he wasn't needed. "Anybody else?"

With a nod James stood up too and moved towards the door.

"I'm going to get some more food." Peter muttered as he and Caradoc too got up.

"Fancy a walk Katherine?" Remus asked and with her nod they took their leave also leaving the four girls alone.

"Hi." Natalie said a little hesitantly.

"You want to sit down?" Lily offered pointing to the now empty seats around them.

"I just wanted to erm, say goodbye. I didn't see you at the graduation and I didn't want to leave things how they were." Nat continued, taking the proffered seat.

"Great speech by the way Lily." She added with a smile and Lily blushed a little.

"Thanks."

The stilted atmosphere between the girls seemed to evaporate and for a few minutes they chatted pleasantly. They discussed the NEWTs and what they were planning to do now. Natalie was surprised to hear that Marly was now going out with Caradoc Dearborn.

"Well, I'd better go now but I'll see you around." Natalie said as she rose.

"Bye Natalie."

"Seya."

With a last smile Natalie walked back to her compartment. Her visit had left them all with a sense of satisfaction. They sat quietly each contemplating their own thoughts until Lily decided that now was as good a time as any.

"Erm, Marly, I'm not going to be bumming off you for as long as I thought." Lily said suddenly. Marly looked up at her in confusion.

"What do you mean? And you're not bumming off me, if that's what you're worried about. I want you to stay and you're welcome to for as long as you want." Marly said.

"Well I er, found a place to live." Lily said a little uncomfortably. She didn't want Marly to think that she didn't want to stay there or anything or that she didn't appreciate her hospitality.

Marly's eyebrow rose in surprise. "I thought you couldn't afford a place of your own?" She queried.

"I can't but well… James asked me to live with him." Lily finished quickly. She was a little worried about what her friends' reactions to the news would be.

Clara tore her eyes away from the window and looked at her excitedly. Marly's other eyebrow joined her first.

"Oh my gosh, that is so romantic." Clara sighed wistfully.

"What did you say?" Marly asked, her face unreadable. Lily's stomach squirmed in apprehension.

"I kind of said yes." Lily replied softly. "But I said I still wanted to stay with you for a few weeks first if that's still okay."

"Of course it is." Marly said definitely. "Wow, I can't believe you're moving in with him." A happy grin spread across her face and Lily felt her nerves relax. Of course Marly wouldn't be mad at her.

"I know." Lily gushed. "It still hasn't sunk in yet."

"So does that mean –?" Clara asked suggestively.

"No!" Lily said with wide eyes and Marly laughed.

"Who thought the idea of sleeping with James Potter would cause such a negative reaction."

Lily looked a little embarrassed and her cheeks were pink. "No, I didn't mean it like that. It's just… I don't think I'm ready yet. And he said he doesn't want to pressure me. He offered to have separate rooms."

Marly burst out laughing. "You are moving in with your boyfriend but you're having separate rooms?" She asked through her giggles. Lily looked defensive and her cheeks flamed darker.

"There's nothing wrong with that. Especially coming from Miss-I-want-to-take-things-slow." Lily replied hotly.

Marly stopped laughing. "I'm sorry Lil. That's good if you want to take things slow. But –"

"Can we not talk about this?" Lily asked desperately her face still very pink.

"What? Having sex with James Potter?" Clara asked wickedly.

"Enough!" Lily giggled. "I'm not saying I won't ever sleep with him. Just not yet. We'll see how things go."

"Oh, so you will sleep with him now?" Marly asked with a teasing grin.

"I didn't say that!" Lily was so red now that her face matched her hair.

"I'm sorry Lils. You know we're only teasing you." Marly said.

"I know."

The compartment slid open and the boys traipsed back in. Lily, Marly and Clara looked up startled as Marly and Clara burst into fits of giggles again and Lily felt her cheeks grow hotter.

"What are you girls talking about?" James asked curiously as he watched Lily's face grow to resemble the colour of a beetroot.

"Nothing." Lily said uncomfortably, not looking at him and glaring at her still laughing friends.

Lily was very thankful when at that moment Remus and Katherine returned too and Sirius began friendlily teasing them as he had done to Lily and James earlier. Even more thankfully Marly and Clara managed to get their giggles under control and stopped shooting Lily knowing looks that made her blush fiercely.

---

Lily spent the remainder of the long train journey in much brighter spirits than the first part. Sirius kept giving her knowing winks, a clear indicator than James had let him in on the news too. The boys were kicked out of the compartments briefly towards the end while the girls changed out of their school robes.

As the train slowed they gathered their belongings and headed towards the exits as the swarms of students around them pushed and shoved to get there first. As usual the station was packed with excited parents and siblings as they made their way through the throngs of people.

Lily felt her eyes well up slightly for the millionth time that day as she hugged all of her friends goodbye and they all promised to owl.

"I'll see you soon Lily." James said softly as he kissed her firmly on the lips and holding her in a warm embrace.

"I love you." He smiled broadly as she rested her head on his chest.

"I'll never get sick of hearing that." James said happily.

He brought his head down to hers and kissed her long and hard. Lily felt herself melt until a sudden thought struck her.

"Your parents aren't here are they?" She asked anxiously looking around. James chuckled.

"No. I told them I'd apparate home." Lily relaxed. Not that she didn't want to meet James' parents. She just didn't really want their first impression of her to kissing James in the middle of the train station.

"I'd better go now." Lily said reluctantly as she noticed Marly waiting for her out of the corner of her eye. "I'll see you soon though."

"Really soon." James promised. "Bye Lil. I love you." With a final kiss and a wave of farewell, James watched as Lily dragged her trunk over to Marly. He watched her long hair flutter slightly behind her as she walked away and as if she felt his gaze she turned and gave him a last wave as she and Marly moved out of eyesight.

"You're a lovesick prat aren't you?" James hadn't heard Sirius sidle up and turned to his grinning friend. James shoved him playfully but couldn't resist a grin.

Who knew where the future would lead any of them. Where they would be in five, ten, 50 years from now. One door had just closed but many more were opening at the same time, leading them all down any path they chose. And James knew just which door he was going to walk through.

"You wanna know something funny Padfoot?" James asked his best mate. "One day I'm going to marry that girl."

---

**I hope you liked it. I know a lot hangs on the ending of a story and whether or not you like it. This is by far the longest chapter I've written too. Wow, I can't believe this story's all over! My first completed story (not inc. one shots)! Btw, please check out the new one shot I just posted too if you like, I would love reviews (wink wink).**

**Thanks to all those faithful reviewers who have made be grin manically for a few hours after reading them. I really can't say how much I appreciated all your reviews!**


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